Once upon a time there was a poor innocent computer programmer who was looking for a job. As he wandered through a dark alley, a filthy little man approached him and said: Hey kid, wanna make a buck?
-Sure, the little programmer replied.
-Ever written billywindows programs?
-Never heard of it.
-He he don't worry, you'll learn in no time, just sign this contract. Don't hesitate. There s pretty money to be made, just a signature.
The innocent little programmer was delighted to finally have found a job and put his name at the contract and followed the filthy little man into an equally filthy house.
-So what do I do? the programmer asked.
-Just read this manual, it's really short beacuse it's so really simple to write billywindows code, he he.
The innocent little programmer started right away...
"What's an IXOCATL-structure?" he asked himself while trying to find out how to put a blopp in the lower right corner of the window. The function making a blopp in the corner needed such a structure as fourth argument.
After just 20 minutes of flickering through the manual he finally found a function called hlpwxakCreateSomeFsckingItemAndWait() that returned an IXOCATL-structure. (Although he still had found out what hell an IXOCATL-structure represented, nor why it was needed to be recreated each time the program entered the message-loop.) ...the hlpwxakCreateSomeFsckingItemAndWait() needed an HLPMEIMLOSTINAHWND-structure as eleventh argument.
...more flicking through the manual...
By coincidence, he found a line saying something about the necessity of sending a KILLMEOHGODKILLME-message to the blopp (remember that? the blopp he was trying to make in the first place) each time anything at all had happened on the screen or five terabyte RAM would instantly be allocated and an intimidating letter would be sent to the users old grandmother, implying things about accidents involving her cat and something about a chain-saw. The innocent little computer programmer wasn't lost yet, he had even dealt with RSX-11 once, and
survived. But he _was_ getting a little worried when he found out that the only way to send a KILLMEOHGODKILLME-message to the blopp was using five undocumented system calls with exactly three milliseconds delay between them or the swap would be unrecoverably lost for ever - that is, the whole partition would be lost physically. This would of course be fixed in the next release.
48 hours later he had found a way to make a blopp appear in the lower right corner of the window, but only for four seconds at the time, and only with a transparent background. The user would also have to press Ctrl-Alt-RightShift-U and sing "Land of hope and glory" and stomp his feet in the ceiling while having the third to seventh installations disks shoved up his rectum.
And never, never let go of the mouse...
The innocent little programmer decided this wasn't the kind of job he was looking for, he would be better off frying GreaseBurgers at McGrease instead, at least he wouldn't have to humiliate himself.
To save his fellow programmers from having to experience the same trauma, he decided to put "rm -rf /" as an atjob and run as hell. To much disappointment there were no such thing as atjob on a billywindows-box and really no efficient way to delete a whole branch of a filesystem tree... and no real filesystem tree either for that matter. So he settled for simply crushing the damn thing with the Ford Bronco parked in the alley instead.
He later was given a Slackware-CD by his fairy godmother and lived happily ever after.