Suicidal friend/s.

copacetic said:
It doesn't matter; we all face challenges, and they are all different.

As it happens I just had a call with the subject of my thread, and (I sincerely hope) talked them down from doing anything dramatic tonight, and please to at the least see a psychiatrist before making any irrevocable decisions. Fingers crossed.
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Thats great for now and I commend you for the effort.
For how long will this last though?
Is this individual willing to get help or is he getting fed by you and everyone else around him with the attention?
Serious question and pls bare in mind I don't know this individual
 
I don't understand people who go around "threatening" everyone that they're about to off themselves.

Call for help or looking for attention?
 
Splinter said:
So if they refuse to see anyone, what exactly could you do yourself?
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copacetic said:
I'm not really looking for an answer, as I don't think there is one, to be honest.

So, mostly just a vent I guess.
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That being said:
copacetic said:
As it happens I just had a call with the subject of my thread, and (I sincerely hope) talked them down from doing anything dramatic tonight, and please to at the least see a psychiatrist before making any irrevocable decisions. Fingers crossed.
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Not a call I initiated, a call I received.
 
I don't understand why you've started this thread
 
if they go through with it, it's going to stick with me for the remainder of my own life, and yet, there is almost literally nothing I can do to help without exacerbating the situation.
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Not ignoring the condition of your friend or what your friend is going through..... but

Your friend is selfish.
 
LD50 said:
what do you want?
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I literally said it in my first post: To vent. Sometimes talking about things helps, and hearing different perspectives on a situation that you yourself are unlikely to be objective about is a useful thing to do.
 
Daruk said:
Part of the curse of being male I hear... Feeling the need to always fix things.
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I'm a chick, what are you talking about?

I'm kidding, and jokes aside; in my experience trying to help people is part of the human experience and a gender neutral thing, surely... That said, in this particular instance, there's not much help, if any, I can provide, so a moot point.
 
WaxLyrical said:
I don't understand people who go around "threatening" everyone that they're about to off themselves.

Call for help or looking for attention?
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In this case it's a combination of both, combined with a history of legitimate attempts. Also, as I've alluded to, the situation is a complex one, the details of which I can't go into, so it's not just a scenario where I've got a sad friend going 'whaaa, life sucks, goodbye'. There's a great deal of nuance and complications bound into this whole thing, which is what makes it such a motherfucker to navigate.

*edit*

New forum, you suck at editing naughty words - Not my fault...
 
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It is my experience, having a hand full of friends commit suicide whilst still in our youth, that the ones who end up doing it are those you least expect to, the cryers generally don't do much of anything or go through with it.
 
LD50 said:
Thats great for now and I commend you for the effort.
For how long will this last though?
Is this individual willing to get help or is he getting fed by you and everyone else around him with the attention?
Serious question and pls bare in mind I don't know this individual
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It's a perfectly valid question, and that is part of the consideration: How much to indulge, in an honest attempt to get them help, and at what point do we step back, because we are enabling manipulative behaviour? This is not an easy line to walk. Easier for me, as I have the advantage of geographical distance, but if I can, I would like whatever my actions may be to not negatively impact people I care about deeply that are closer to the situation.
 
gamer16 said:
It is my experience, having a hand full of friends commit suicide whilst still in our youth, that the ones who end up doing it are those you least expect to, the cryers generally don't do much of anything or go through with it.
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First, I am sorry to hear that - No one should have to have that that sort of experience growing up. In this case, there are extenuating circumstances surrounding this whole situation. I'm sorry to be mysterious about the exact nature of the specifics, but it's not something I can go into on the forum.

But by way of a broad analogy, imagine having a friend who is perhaps very ill, and is reluctant to receive treatment (because they are scared / don't believe treatment will succeed), and instead of at least investigating all their options, choose to end their lives, and all the people around them want done, is for a reasonable assessment of the situation to be done by a professional, and from there any decisions, dramatic or otherwise, can be rationally made.
 
People who are serious about committing suicide are going to do it, those that talk about committing suicide are the one's that are reaching out for help and can be saved.

In some of the more serious cases, there are no outward signs towards friends or families, they just do it, often leaving behind a myriad of questions..... :confused:
 
copacetic said:
First, I am sorry to hear that - No one should have to have that that sort of experience growing up. In this case, there are extenuating circumstances surrounding this whole situation. I'm sorry to be mysterious about the exact nature of the specifics, but it's not something I can go into on the forum.

But by way of a broad analogy, imagine having a friend who is perhaps very ill, and is reluctant to receive treatment (because they are scared / don't believe treatment will succeed), and instead of at least investigating all their options, choose to end their lives, and all the people around them want done, is for a reasonable assessment of the situation to be done by a professional, and from there any decisions, dramatic or otherwise, can be rationally made.
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That would be the best way to go about it, however, that will be very difficult because sometimes people, for reasons not understood by themselves, do not want what is best for them.

I am that way with medical care, I do not understand why but I refuse to take any pills or medicine or go to the clinic or hospital. Not that I've needed to very often but for some reason I'd rather suffer that go for treatment, something not wired up correctly upstairs I suppose.
 
Mortymoose said:
People who are serious about committing suicide are going to do it, those that talk about committing suicide are the one's that are reaching out for help and can be saved.

In some of the more serious cases, there are no outward signs towards friends or families, they just do it, often leaving behind a myriad of questions..... :confused:
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^This
 
My cousin committed suicide and dragged many people through many attempts.

We would all band together get her back on her feet and just when she seemed at her happiest point, everything would start over again major depression, revert back into herself, no phone calls or picking up phone calls and she would disappear not go to work or be at home (not drugs).

Super happy then super sad very bipolar.

I cant tell you what to do for you friend but I can say when she was gone her direct family was furious (still is) at her. For me being a bit of a pillar in her life it hurt but I understood that she was not meant for this life and her not being in the anguish she was in was probably for the best.

I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if she had phoned me before she did it but then think about her pain and I'm ok with it.
 
It most likely differs on a case by case basis, but the fact that you used the word "threatened" already makes me feel irritated. If you threaten suicide, then you are either looking for attention, or looking to emotionally blackmail someone or people in your life. I have absolutely no time for that fcking ****. My dad did not threaten us with suicide ... he just one day did it with no warning. He was not looking for anything from anyone ... so why would he threaten us with it.

BF has a friend that did this "threaten with suicide" thing just last week. I was lying next to him listen to the conversation and it pretty much came down to "you hurt me ... I am going to get you back. I will end it and it will be on your hands". I very nearly grabbed the phone out of the BF's hand and said "so stop fcking crying about it. If you want to do it ... then fcking do it!"

Thankfully the BF has a lot more patience than I do. Sorry @copacetic , not being of much help .... but I have a lot of sympathy for people left behind by suicide and a lot of understanding for people that have comitted suicide .... but ABSOLUTELY no time for people who threaten others with it.
 
I have had this, but I don't really know what to do to contribute to the situation.

A friend of mine is bipolar and called me up while he was busy taking aspirin every half an hour or so to thin his blood and make it easier to bleed out without clotting. He was in a manic phase of his bipolar, just didn't want to be alone. We've been good friends for a long time, but I live in a different city now.

I got my wife to phone another friend who lived down the road but wasn't as close a friend (quite a challenge to do that without letting the other person know you're doing it, when it comes down to it). Kept him talking long enough for that person to show up. This was enough of a push to actually get him to get help. It felt rubbish for me though because I was worried and there wasn't much that I could do.

My friend later told me that the depressive states of his bipolar, he's usually too down to actually make the effort to kill himself. It's the manic states that are the problem. He hadn't been taking his medication at the time because the side-effects had gotten worse, or something, I forget exactly. Anyway, shrink changed his prescription, he's since changed jobs and is doing better (mostly).

I guess each person is different. I don't have much to contribute really. @copacetic, if your friend has a therapist, it may be worthwhile getting in touch with them to ask what would be appropriate for you to do - if they are willing to discuss the patient, that is.
 
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