Suicidal friend/s.

I don't want to contradict anyone but SIL threatened for years and then did it :(. She might be the exception that proves the rule?
 
Mortymoose said:
People who are serious about committing suicide are going to do it, those that talk about committing suicide are the one's that are reaching out for help and can be saved.

In some of the more serious cases, there are no outward signs towards friends or families, they just do it, often leaving behind a myriad of questions..... :confused:
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It's not binary though, and it's very situationally dependent. I think you're probably correct in a general sense, but the scenario I'm involved in is a bit bizarre in the sense that the person is being open about it, but doesn't actually want help (or at least, doesn't believe here is help to be had).
 
Scary_Turtle said:
My cousin committed suicide and dragged many people through many attempts.

We would all band together get her back on her feet and just when she seemed at her happiest point, everything would start over again major depression, revert back into herself, no phone calls or picking up phone calls and she would disappear not go to work or be at home (not drugs).

Super happy then super sad very bipolar.

I cant tell you what to do for you friend but I can say when she was gone her direct family was furious (still is) at her. For me being a bit of a pillar in her life it hurt but I understood that she was not meant for this life and her not being in the anguish she was in was probably for the best.

I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if she had phoned me before she did it but then think about her pain and I'm ok with it.
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Thank you for the contribution, and I'm inclined to agree with you on the bolded bits, as I personally understand the sentiment, to an extent. As you say though, it absolutely ****ing wrecks a lot of the people you leave behind, so I'm conflicted in that I support a person's right to want out, but at the same time, I think we have a moral responsibility to those who care about us, to do everything we can to hang on, if we can (in the context of mental illness I mean - The considerations are different when it comes to being terminally ill, etc).
 
maumau said:
I don't want to contradict anyone but SIL threatened for years and then did it :(. She might be the exception that proves the rule?
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There's almost certainly no rulebook, and that's what makes it so hard to know how to deal with. I'm sorry about your SIL.
 
Ockie said:
It most likely differs on a case by case basis, but the fact that you used the word "threatened" already makes me feel irritated. If you threaten suicide, then you are either looking for attention, or looking to emotionally blackmail someone or people in your life. I have absolutely no time for that fcking ****. My dad did not threaten us with suicide ... he just one day did it with no warning. He was not looking for anything from anyone ... so why would he threaten us with it.

BF has a friend that did this "threaten with suicide" thing just last week. I was lying next to him listen to the conversation and it pretty much came down to "you hurt me ... I am going to get you back. I will end it and it will be on your hands". I very nearly grabbed the phone out of the BF's hand and said "so stop fcking crying about it. If you want to do it ... then fcking do it!"

Thankfully the BF has a lot more patience than I do. Sorry @copacetic , not being of much help .... but I have a lot of sympathy for people left behind by suicide and a lot of understanding for people that have comitted suicide .... but ABSOLUTELY no time for people who threaten others with it.
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I completely understand, and there is almost certainly an element of manipulation present in this case (although I'm not even sure it's a conscious choice, at this point in the proceedings).

That said, I get your anger, and it makes me angry as well, but I don't want to have cause to look back one day, should anything happen, and have to wonder 'what if I did this, what if I did that, would anything be different'?

Ultimately, there is just no way of knowing for sure what the intentions and motivations are, and I feel obligated to err on the side of caution, even if I'm being bullshitted. Which is a moot point anyway, as there's not anything I can think to do, in any event.
 
newby_investor said:
I have had this, but I don't really know what to do to contribute to the situation.

A friend of mine is bipolar and called me up while he was busy taking aspirin every half an hour or so to thin his blood and make it easier to bleed out without clotting. He was in a manic phase of his bipolar, just didn't want to be alone. We've been good friends for a long time, but I live in a different city now.

I got my wife to phone another friend who lived down the road but wasn't as close a friend (quite a challenge to do that without letting the other person know you're doing it, when it comes down to it). Kept him talking long enough for that person to show up. This was enough of a push to actually get him to get help. It felt rubbish for me though because I was worried and there wasn't much that I could do.

My friend later told me that the depressive states of his bipolar, he's usually too down to actually make the effort to kill himself. It's the manic states that are the problem. He hadn't been taking his medication at the time because the side-effects had gotten worse, or something, I forget exactly. Anyway, shrink changed his prescription, he's since changed jobs and is doing better (mostly).

I guess each person is different. I don't have much to contribute really. @copacetic, if your friend has a therapist, it may be worthwhile getting in touch with them to ask what would be appropriate for you to do - if they are willing to discuss the patient, that is.
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Thank you very much for your contribution (I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to tell their stories, and give advice - It's exactly what I made the thread for, and helps find perspective).

As to your last point... there's a therapist, we just can't get the person to said therapist, as they have effectively given up already. Which is unfortunately why, in the main, I view this as a situation without a solution.
 
People need a reason to live and they need to feel loved or they just need attention, but if they start threatening suicide in order to seek attention you might want to back away slowly because they are probably too far gone. Or buy them a box of minora blades and see if they are serious.
 
copacetic said:
Thank you very much for your contribution (I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to tell their stories, and give advice - It's exactly what I made the thread for, and helps find perspective).

As to your last point... there's a therapist, we just can't get the person to said therapist, as they have effectively given up already. Which is unfortunately why, in the main, I view this as a situation without a solution.
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I guess the sad part is, just like there are terminal diseases that we can do nothing about, mental conditions can also be impossible to solve.

Making peace with this is part of the challenge of life I think.
 
copacetic said:
Thank you very much for your contribution (I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to tell their stories, and give advice - It's exactly what I made the thread for, and helps find perspective).

As to your last point... there's a therapist, we just can't get the person to said therapist, as they have effectively given up already. Which is unfortunately why, in the main, I view this as a situation without a solution.
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That sounds like typical psychosis.
The person sees no difference between life or death. It's unnatural of course. I had the same experience, but I can nail it down to psychosis with myself as well. As I said earlier, only certain medication (anti psychotics) helped me wth this.
 
copacetic said:
I literally said it in my first post: To vent. Sometimes talking about things helps, and hearing different perspectives on a situation that you yourself are unlikely to be objective about is a useful thing to do.
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Ok
 
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