Taking a dump at work

I take multiple long dumps everyday, just to get away from the people I work with.
 
Barbarian Conan said:
Or those toilets that were so filthy, that it couldn't have been an accident. Like how do you get a skidmark ON THE SEAT?!?!?!
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I always used to poop at home, until this one time when I was on my way to Cape Tech and I though I was making a ripper of a fart. I sharted myself so good that my Ford Bantam never smelt the same.

When I got to Tech I had to carefully maneuver myself in with my backpack hanging as low as it could. I took the stairs from the parking lot up 3 stories and over the walkway and headed to the first toilet I could find. This was panic stations but once I got into the toilet it was like a heavenly oasis. I used my onderbroek as a washing cloth, cleaned up as good as I could, chucked the onderbroek in the bin and went wet-ass commando for the rest of the day.

That right there broke my aversion to public toilets and I have since pooped in many, including one in Mauritius that did not have TP, only a 2L bottle of water.

I'd much rather poop at work than **** myself in traffic.
 
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Rouxenator said:
I always used to poop at home, until this one time when I was on my way to Cape Tech and I though I was making a ripper of a fart. I sharted myself so good that my Forb Bantam never smelt the same.

When I got to Tech I had to carefully maneuver myself in with my backpack hanging as low as it could. I took the stairs from the parking lot up 3 stories and over the walkway and headed to the first toilet I could find. This was panic stations but once I got into the toilet it was like a heavenly oasis. I used my onderbroek as a washing cloth, cleaned up as good as I could, chucked the onderbroek in the bin and went wet-ass commando for the rest of the day.

That right there broke my aversion to public toilets and I have since pooped in many, including one in Mauritius that did not have TP, only a 2L bottle of water.

I'd much rather poop at work than **** myself in traffic.
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The older you get, the more important it becomes to never trust what you think is going to be a fart.
 
Norrad said:
No long road trips through the middle of nowhere for you then. I used to be shy about peeing in public too until I started flying. Long cross country flights with no toilet and the pressure differentials playing havoc on your ability to hold your pee for long periods. I got used to zipping down my flight suit and peeing into a bottle with someone sitting less than a foot from me. Now I can go pretty much anywhere.

Still iffy about taking a dump at work though and will generally walk to the other side of the building to find a quiet cubicle.
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I've kept my pee for 11 hours, once landed at Gatwick went to go find a loo. Also did 8 hours to Dubai, but those are really, really odd toilets if you don't go to the Western toilets.
 
Cereal_Killer said:
The older you get, the more important it becomes to never trust what you think is going to be a fart.
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True. Was on a hunting trip years ago, standing by the fire and let rip.... fckit... A fart should not be wet.
Shuffled to the nearest toilet (At that time everyone was in the kitchen) and pulled my khakis off. Now there's the fckup... you sit with your underpants full of schit, how do you get it off without making an even bigger mess ?
Took my knife out and cut them. Underpants in the bin. Went back to the fire and acted like fokol happened.
Now for the finale: The toilet i used was in the room where 2 other hunters slept. That whole weekend they complained about that schit smell in the room and they can't find where it comes from. He he he.
Told them a year later where it came from.
 
What was that thread about the guy that took revenge by pooping on someone else's helmet at some weekend bikers camp?
 
HunterNW said:
True. Was on a hunting trip years ago, standing by the fire and let rip.... fckit... A fart should not be wet.
Shuffled to the nearest toilet (At that time everyone was in the kitchen) and pulled my khakis off. Now there's the fckup... you sit with your underpants full of schit, how do you get it off without making an even bigger mess ?
Took my knife out and cut them. Underpants in the bin. Went back to the fire and acted like fokol happened.
Now for the finale: The toilet i used was in the room where 2 other hunters slept. That whole weekend they complained about that schit smell in the room and they can't find where it comes from. He he he.
Told them a year later where it came from.
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I haven't yet fully shat myself, but I have had a too-wet-for-comfort fart at work. Luckily I still went to gym in my lunch break around that time so I had spare undies in my gym bag.
I really should start keeping a spare pair in my boot again...
 
HunterNW said:
True. Was on a hunting trip years ago, standing by the fire and let rip.... fckit... A fart should not be wet.
Shuffled to the nearest toilet (At that time everyone was in the kitchen) and pulled my khakis off. Now there's the fckup... you sit with your underpants full of schit, how do you get it off without making an even bigger mess ?
Took my knife out and cut them. Underpants in the bin. Went back to the fire and acted like fokol happened.
Now for the finale: The toilet i used was in the room where 2 other hunters slept. That whole weekend they complained about that schit smell in the room and they can't find where it comes from. He he he.
Told them a year later where it came from.
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I will one-up you on that. I had been taken to a bbq buffet in Korea and went a bit overboard. On the way home I could feel each morsel of food combined with a load of Heinekens literally exploding in my guts. I begged the taxi driver to gun it home and the prick dropped me off about two blocks from my place (I think my farts played a big part in that). I was literally eyeing out flower bowls and bike helmets in the street as I was legging it to my apartment. I didn't make it and at the last turn, I exploded. I maintained perfect composure as I walked past all the hot chicks chatting in the lobby and took the unused service elevator up, grabbed a black bag on my way to the shower and tossed my underwear and pants in it. Took a long shower making sure that I was spotless. Now for the kicker... All the plumbing in the building was connected, and they don't use u-bends on showers and basins there. I was on the top floor, so the smell permeated through each apartment. Eventually, the superintendent called in a heavy-duty plumbing place to come fix the smell after people couldn't brush their teeth or shower without getting a good whiff of my brand. I moved out a few months later and I swear I would still get a whiff of it when I was taking a shower. Luckily no one knew it was me...
 
Mmm, I thought that this was supposedly a tech forum (Trusted In Tech):unsure:, yet here are poeple discussing bowel movements. I thought that this topic of discussion was relegated to lower IQs.
 
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