Mortymoose
Honorary Master
About six weeks back I felt a sharp pain under my foot. In all likelihood, I was still on a bender and thought nothing more about it....
In the coming weeks, If I wore crocs my foot would give a little throb, kind of like one's mother in law nagging that you are not fit for her beloved daughter...
I paid no attention to it.....
Yesterday afternoon after spending my afternoon cremating in the glorious rain, barefoot on the cold cement, the pain returned....
This time it was like I had stood on a hot coal and refused to subside, "Fekkit, Let's see if we can destroy the pain with medical Guinness...". I said to FIRstBornMoose......
She proceeded to the trusty Beerfridge in the laundry to fetch the painkiller in a can....
Stupid idea it was, for come the evening bath, the pain had increased..... I lifted my hairy leg above the sea of soapy bubbles, trying to do an 80's breakdance move, my arse slipped in the bath as I twisted my foot to see my sole, but my swollen boep was having naught of this and caused me to tip over....
"Stupid slippery bath!", I muttered to myself as I grasped my Ipad and proceeded to take a photograph under the sole of my damp foot....
There was a hole in my foot....... " A friggin' hole as big as the big hole of Kimberley..." , I declared unto my family a few minutes later....
I called it a day, feeling sorry for myself, I dragged my spitting clean body off to bed.....
Well there I lay, sometime after the midnight hour, listening to the sound of rain, beautiful desert rain, ever so softly, caressing the roof outside........ AND the sound of the throbbing foot pulsating in my arteries..... "Gawd! Did this hurt, I wonder on the Gout scale what I should rate this pain?", I whimpered to myself......
"Definitely a 5.5, maybe a 6, If gout was a 10 out of 10, this would be 5.5 out of ten...", I muttered to myself....
Around 03H00, still no sleep, I skipped on one foot down to the darkened kitchen to take a few pain killers...
At precisely, 09H00, I was sitting in the local clinic with my foot up in the air, leg exposed to a local male nurse who muttered and mumbled..... "Moose, this does not look like any splinter I have seen, it's swollen like an ulcer or a boil.....".
He then proceeded to slice the skin away, with me swearing in a multitude of languages at the pain, before he produced a 20mm piece of straight carbon metal......
"Congrats Moose, it's a girl..." , He laughed.....
In two minutes...... I was a good as new,
The lesson here folks, don't prolong your suffering, get it seen to, if it was a rusted piece of metal, I would be in a much more serious situation...
Why did I post this? Bored and I have already told my two friends up here the tale.....
In the coming weeks, If I wore crocs my foot would give a little throb, kind of like one's mother in law nagging that you are not fit for her beloved daughter...
I paid no attention to it.....
Yesterday afternoon after spending my afternoon cremating in the glorious rain, barefoot on the cold cement, the pain returned....
This time it was like I had stood on a hot coal and refused to subside, "Fekkit, Let's see if we can destroy the pain with medical Guinness...". I said to FIRstBornMoose......
She proceeded to the trusty Beerfridge in the laundry to fetch the painkiller in a can....
Stupid idea it was, for come the evening bath, the pain had increased..... I lifted my hairy leg above the sea of soapy bubbles, trying to do an 80's breakdance move, my arse slipped in the bath as I twisted my foot to see my sole, but my swollen boep was having naught of this and caused me to tip over....
"Stupid slippery bath!", I muttered to myself as I grasped my Ipad and proceeded to take a photograph under the sole of my damp foot....
There was a hole in my foot....... " A friggin' hole as big as the big hole of Kimberley..." , I declared unto my family a few minutes later....
I called it a day, feeling sorry for myself, I dragged my spitting clean body off to bed.....
Well there I lay, sometime after the midnight hour, listening to the sound of rain, beautiful desert rain, ever so softly, caressing the roof outside........ AND the sound of the throbbing foot pulsating in my arteries..... "Gawd! Did this hurt, I wonder on the Gout scale what I should rate this pain?", I whimpered to myself......
"Definitely a 5.5, maybe a 6, If gout was a 10 out of 10, this would be 5.5 out of ten...", I muttered to myself....
Around 03H00, still no sleep, I skipped on one foot down to the darkened kitchen to take a few pain killers...
At precisely, 09H00, I was sitting in the local clinic with my foot up in the air, leg exposed to a local male nurse who muttered and mumbled..... "Moose, this does not look like any splinter I have seen, it's swollen like an ulcer or a boil.....".
He then proceeded to slice the skin away, with me swearing in a multitude of languages at the pain, before he produced a 20mm piece of straight carbon metal......
"Congrats Moose, it's a girl..." , He laughed.....
In two minutes...... I was a good as new,
The lesson here folks, don't prolong your suffering, get it seen to, if it was a rusted piece of metal, I would be in a much more serious situation...
Why did I post this? Bored and I have already told my two friends up here the tale.....
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