Things that please you...

scienide said:
Also work for government?
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So close, yet so far.

I work with people that wouldn't make it in the government sector.

Seen this today?
The pensioner here started a conversation with me this morning...there was no escape.

"Look at this beautiful coffee pot. I promised it to a colleague because she loves it so much. It is almost empty now."

702587


WTF??!!

I wonder if he is suffering from early dementia?
 
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
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Did you forget to pop a squat at work before you left?
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
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I've done that before. Except I had to take the T-shirt I was wearing under my cycling jersey off and use that. I left it on top of my deposit in some farmer's field.
 
I've washed 7 kinds of s...t out of laundry before, and this top was R230 from Mr Price sport.

Last time I had an incident like that was in 2016 when I did the TransKaroo upride. It was on this long flat section where the bossies are so low they don't hide much. The night before we had a lekker kuier with many different types of craft beer on hand. This was 70km into the ride and all I had on me remotely close to wiping material was a bandage we had to carry as part of our first aid kit. I literally rode off the dirt road and into bossies as far as I could, dived and dumped. Left the bandage behind.
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
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:sick:

TMI
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
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Use your socks man.
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
Click to expand...

Bwhahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Neeeeeee sies f0k!!!!!
 
Rouxenator said:
Ariel washing detergent.

So yesterday on the way home, in the trails above Coetzenburg I realised that I am seconds away from kaking my pants. No amount of down force on the saddle would keep this eruption in. I make a hasty retreat to some bushes to unleash the deamon knocking at my sphincter. Only to realise I have nothing to wipe with. Nothing until I see the long sleeved shirt I had on earlier the day, now conveniently tied to my handlebar. Now I don't normally do this kind of thing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I untied the shirt and proceed to wipe my ass with it. Took two hours in the washing machine, but it's all good now. Wearing it again today. Ariel is the best washing detergent I know of.
Click to expand...

:ROFL:

My brother-in-law takes his 2 boerboels for a walk. Nature calls, he has to make an urgent deposit from his rear. Now he is in the middle of a veld, no spectators to put pressure on his awkward situation.

As he is finishing his deed, one of the dogs ploughs into his fresh heap. The dog's back is now covered in $hit. The dog proceeds to rub himself against my BIL, knocks him out of his squat position and the 2 end up on top of each other basically covered in $hit. My BIL ends up using his shirt to clean himself and the dog.

All I remember is my BIL walking down the road, shirtless, holding 2 boerboels, one in each hand - smelling like utter $hit.

Can't remember what washing powder he used..
 
The_MAC said:
:ROFL:

My brother-in-law takes his 2 boerboels for a walk. Nature calls, he has to make an urgent deposit from his rear. Now he is in the middle of a veld, no spectators to put pressure on his awkward situation.

As he is finishing his deed, one of the dogs ploughs into his fresh heap. The dog's back is now covered in $hit. The dog proceeds to rub himself against my BIL, knocks him out of his squat position and the 2 end up on top of each other basically covered in $hit. My BIL ends up using his shirt to clean himself and the dog.

All I remember is my BIL walking down the road, shirtless, holding 2 boerboels, one in each hand - smelling like utter $hit.

Can't remember what washing powder he used..
Click to expand...
This beats the "war is hell" post... sadly it is purged forever :(
 
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