Trusting your gut

genetic

genetic

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Everyone has it.. that feeling in your gut telling you something is right or wrong, but you generally end up overriding that '6th sense' feeling with a rational decision in your mind - whether it's the right or wrong decision.

I've been seeing this girl casually for the last two months or so, and we've been really getting along very well together. We never committed to anything serious and have actually never discussed it, at this stage it's more along the lines of friends with benefits... As time progressed we became more and more intimate. Although we haven't committed anything to each other, I know she really likes me and I'm really starting to like her, but for some arb reason I have a bad feeling in my gut when we are together.
Something tells me something isn't right, but I keep suppressing those thoughts. I haven't been one to rely on gut instinct, and have always methodically thought things through before coming to any conclusion or decision.

We went out the other night, and she was chatting to a mutual male friend of ours. They're very good friends with each other, and he is actually the reason her and I met. He was quite drunk, and while chatting to other friends of mine, one guy pointed out that they were kissing. I confronted her about it a while later and she immediately broke down into tears and ran away. One of her friends went to consoled her and came to spoke to me, then I got the sms's stating she really likes me and she swears she never kissed him... blah blah blah, and for some strange reason I actually believe her.

In nearly every prior relationship I've ever been in, I've been screwed around in some way or another. This, I think, has made me not trust any woman I get involved with anymore, as I've never met anyone who's been completely honest with me. This has made me become very aware and almost paranoid with any woman I'm with, as I'm looking for any signs and almost waiting for the moment where I find out they've been screwing me around or just using me.

Now do you guys think I'm being paranoid in this situation? Looking for any reason to prove she's been 'cheating' even though we not officially an item? My gut tells me she's setting me up for disaster.

I did some brief reading on gut feelings on the net and came across this:

According to a recent story in New Scientist, "it turns out that because our emotions emerge from our unconscious mind, from our internal supercomputer, they tend to reflect more information than our rational mind." Translation: our gut instinct can save us from a lot of grief.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's time to cut the ties, as I feel like I'm becoming emotionally attached, and setting myself up for a very hard time if I carry on this way.
 
Talk to your friend as well, and see if anyone else saw them kissing?

Try to be rational, don't get overly paranoid. You might be right but be careful you aren't making an issue out of nothing.

The fact that she broke down and ran away, yea that's suspect. But some women can get emotional very easily...
 
Maddmatt said:
The fact that she broke down and ran away, yea that's suspect. But some women can get emotional very easily...
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To me thats suspect. Guilty conscience 101.

But if there's no official commitment, then you can't really complain. I think it's easier to steer clear of 'grey' relationships in general. Just becomes difficult once emotions become involved.
 
genetic said:
Now do you guys think I'm being paranoid in this situation? Looking for any reason to prove she's been 'cheating' even though we not officially an item? My gut tells me she's setting me up for disaster.
Click to expand...

No, you're not paranoid, your "gut" is probably right. If she lied once she'll lie again. The simple fact that you can't trust her now, means that you'll never be able to believe anything she says. It's not worth pursuing this. Sorry. :cry:
 
At a guess she's in love with him and he's not that into her, especially considering you met through him. Very good male/female friends = someone holding a torch.
 
There was no "commitment" between you two. Maybe she felt unsure too. Best is to discuss it and lay down the lines or "commitments" then see how it goes. It depends what you feel for her.
 
how do you see it with you rational mind?

'cause from where I'm sitting it looks pretty bad.
 
Trust your gut instincts they are usually right. At least that is the case in my experience.
 
The brain is trained to expect an outcome, and your conscious level of thought already made up its mind by not allowing you to make a logical decision. Change your expectations. Change your level of thinking.

And feel your feelings, then your gut.
 
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