Unexpected pregnancy

Singal said:
Put yourself in the shoes of a woman. Pretend you have feelings and emotions. Still think it's that easy to terminate a pregnancy?
There would be no problem if the OP had just used contraception, therefore he is liable for child support. Even if the lady had been on the pill, a course of antibiotics(if she was sick) would have rendered it useless and he'd still be where he is right now.
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I'm not saying its easy, of course its not. Abortion is a traumatic thing.

However, having a baby when you are not ready is even more traumatic.

Everyone is telling the guy to man up, how about telling the woman to woman up? If neither is ready for a baby, then get an abortion. Yes I'm sure most people would rather have their teeth pulled with no anaesthetic, but beggars cant be choosers. You got yourselves into this difficult situation, and she is the only one who can do something about it.
 
So what's the outcome of the meeting you dad with her today?
 
marine1 said:
Why does it always have to be the fault of the guy?
Women lie about the pill, they lie about contraception too ;)
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And men are just all too happy to leave contraception to the woman if they can go condomless...
 
Last edited:
hey everyone...."the talk" did not happen.
she said she couldn't get out of bed, very sick,headache and nausea ...i wished her to get well soon, and offered my help if she need anything...

had a long day...will catch up on the last 3 pages tomorrow...thanks everyone for the comments and the help.....
 
Singal said:
You do know that some people use the rhythm method as birth control, right? Very stupid and unreliable imo, but that is prolly why she said it's safe.
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yes...thats basically what she meant.
i must be honest, i don't know much about this, and i never trusted it, all i know is that there are a few days of the month that a women can't get pregnant?
 
KalMaverick said:
Oh no I agree fully.

We just unfortunately don't have her side of the story, which I wish I could hear because that could be interesting, so I can't really comment much on her.

.
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I can assure you, that i told the story exactly as it is.
 
OP and the friend were not in any type of committed relationship. OP made it clear that his intention was not to have a baby and the friend at the time reassured him that would not happen. While I believe it is both parties responsibility I cannot grasp why this friend would want this baby even after you had made it clear - before sex - your intention was not to get her pregnant (What a good friend?).

Here's the thing about having sex outside of a serious relationship - you can't take anything seriously. Including her word that it actually is your baby (She could of had sex with other guys at the time too). I would want blood tests to prove that baby is mine. It is also best so you can get all doubt out of the way. Especially should she decide to have the baby and later down the line you discover the baby isn't yours.

Unfortunately aborting the baby is primarily the woman's choice. Be straight up and let her know how you feel. Having a baby to raise is no joke. I would not pretend to be supportive. She knew from the start you did not want this. I believe her to be 2 faced in this regard. To reassure you that she won't get pregnant then refuse to get an abortion when she did become pregnant does not make sense. Ask her out about this.
 
breadbox said:
OP and the friend were not in any type of committed relationship. OP made it clear that his intention was not to have a baby and the friend at the time reassured him that would not happen. While I believe it is both parties responsibility I cannot grasp why this friend would want this baby even after you had made it clear - before sex - your intention was not to get her pregnant (What a good friend?).

Here's the thing about having sex outside of a serious relationship - you can't take anything seriously. Including her word that it actually is your baby (She could of had sex with other guys at the time too). I would want blood tests to prove that baby is mine. It is also best so you can get all doubt out of the way. Especially should she decide to have the baby and later down the line you discover the baby isn't yours.

Unfortunately aborting the baby is primarily the woman's choice. Be straight up and let her know how you feel. Having a baby to raise is no joke. I would not pretend to be supportive. She knew from the start you did not want this. I believe her to be 2 faced in this regard. To reassure you that she won't get pregnant then refuse to get an abortion when she did become pregnant does not make sense. Ask her out about this.
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Thanks breadbox.
 
mug11 said:
yes...thats basically what she meant.
i must be honest, i don't know much about this, and i never trusted it, all i know is that there are a few days of the month that a women can't get pregnant?
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Oh yes she can, chances are just much smaller than.
 
mug11 said:
yes...thats basically what she meant.
i must be honest, i don't know much about this, and i never trusted it, all i know is that there are a few days of the month that a women can't get pregnant?
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there are days when there is a Less of a chance of getting pregnant but not 100% she wont. -
Out of interest what exactly did she mean by she safe?
 
mug11 said:
yes...thats basically what she meant.
i must be honest, i don't know much about this, and i never trusted it, all i know is that there are a few days of the month that a women can't get pregnant?
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the first 7 days after her period...but remember sperm lives for up to 3days...so either way, you are screwed!
 
isie said:
there are days when there is a Less of a chance of getting pregnant but not 100% she wont. -
Out of interest what exactly did she mean by she safe?
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I think she mentioned something about the safe days, and she definitely said that doctors said that she will struggle to get pregnant.
 
by the way, we had sex about a year ago....then she insisted on a condom before i said anything....that's another reason why i thought she is responsible.
 
Ok...I'm not going to go through 17 pages of replies, so if I add below and its been said...apologies.

Like most have said, it's not an exact science...but the time you had sex to when she is pregnant...well, it's close enough. Added, my wife's pregnancy was off by 2 weeks WRT delivery date...so either way, expect the 5 weeks to be out by about a week or 2 either way, give or take.

As mentioned, I'm not reading 17 pages of replies...but get her to take another pregnancy test with you there, and see the results for yourself (if she hasn't already)

My main worry is she could easily have slept with someone else days before you, and is pregnant with his kid. Unfort no way of knowing besides a paternity test...and thats months away still...so it will be a rough road.

This whole thing reminds me of a one nighter I had many years ago...so you dont need a condom, she said...I cant fall pregnant, she said. I was like...whatever...and slapped that rubber on. Thank God I did...
 
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