what do i do now????

[TheHiveMind]

Many girls do this. They like security, they second guess themselves etc.

mkay.. I hate giving out advice about relationships, because they mean the world to people, and I don't want to be responsible for anything, so do what you want ok?
You need to decide whether she is actually worth fighting for or not, according to you, because noone here knows anything.

Now before all the girls read this and say "OMG thats so dishonest, omg just like, act like yourself sssssnake!!! Just like do it! Just tell her how you feel and speak from your heart! thats what she wants to hear!!". No... don't..

Thats what people think they want. When she gets that, it will be like an anti climax. People like the chase, the uncertainty, its thrilling, people like to fight for, and earn what they get. If it comes easy, then there is no value in that thing, Make her earn it, make her chase it, otherwise they will be empty words. This stands even if you end up being a couple. Say something too often and it loses its meaning.

Ever had some person who you feel barely knows you say I love you? It feels false, they don't know you. It feels desperate, and it feels like they are mocking you, simply saying it to get something out of you, to validate themselves perhaps. Doesn't feel nice at all. Feels like nothing..

Ever had to fight for a girls attention? Always having to be better than others who want her? It feels good when she says she loves you. The words hold weight because you know you deserve it.

First things first, if her and her bf really love eachother, then this will not work, and you will probably end up as the frustrated jealous guy..

1:Tell her to do whatever she thinks will make her happy, because thats what you'd do.
Then tell her that you are her friend and want her to be happy. This tells her that you have her best interests at heart, but that you think of her as a friend. That will keep her guessing

-Ofcourse she will pick wrong, and go back to the bf, act like it doesn't phase you, you are just a really good friend remember? Remain good friends and keep up your long chats and spending time together etc, however don't jump everytime she wants you to jump, and don't ALWAYS be available.

2:Her bf will see the link you have with her, and the time you spend interacting, and will become jealous and frustrated. Let it happen.
-Perhaps even defend him (a little), when she complains about his jealous behaviour, because girls love to do that. in other words defend him in a way that makes it look like you are being sympathetic to him and trying to understand him, but in a way that backfires for him eg: "Oh he got angry with you and sulked? Well, im sure he will have gotten over it, and will have bought you flowers and will make it up to you next time you see him, I mean, he loves you right?" (If he doesn't he has performed below her hopes and expectations)

3:Now she will start getting frustrated, will compare her options.
-You and her bf. You are not jealous, you are her friend, you are more thoughtful, you would've bought her flowers if you had had a fight.. Her bf must go.. If she comes onto you before breaking up with her bf, then tell her that she will do things properly and break up first, if she really wants the relationship to happen.

So basically show her you are the better man, and her bf will destroy the relationship all on his own. Always keep it cool. Never slam the guy, let her come to those conclusions on her own. If you slam him, she will defend him. If however you defend him, she will slam him more in order to convince you, and in so doing she will convince herself further.

 

[The_Pumpkin_King]

post too looong, tis friday this

 

[Voldemort]

wow guys, ssssome really thoughtful stuff here

Shes an amazing woman, im sure she'll make the right choice given the time. Im there if she needs me

 

[eek]

Many girls do this. They like security, they second guess themselves etc.

mkay.. I hate giving out advice about relationships, because they mean the world to people, and I don't want to be responsible for anything, so do what you want ok?
You need to decide whether she is actually worth fighting for or not, according to you, because noone here knows anything.

Now before all the girls read this and say "OMG thats so dishonest, omg just like, act like yourself sssssnake!!! Just like do it! Just tell her how you feel and speak from your heart! thats what she wants to hear!!". No... don't..

Thats what people think they want. When she gets that, it will be like an anti climax. People like the chase, the uncertainty, its thrilling, people like to fight for, and earn what they get. If it comes easy, then there is no value in that thing, Make her earn it, make her chase it, otherwise they will be empty words. This stands even if you end up being a couple. Say something too often and it loses its meaning.

Ever had some person who you feel barely knows you say I love you? It feels false, they don't know you. It feels desperate, and it feels like they are mocking you, simply saying it to get something out of you, to validate themselves perhaps. Doesn't feel nice at all. Feels like nothing..

Ever had to fight for a girls attention? Always having to be better than others who want her? It feels good when she says she loves you. The words hold weight because you know you deserve it.

First things first, if her and her bf really love eachother, then this will not work, and you will probably end up as the frustrated jealous guy..

1:Tell her to do whatever she thinks will make her happy, because thats what you'd do.
Then tell her that you are her friend and want her to be happy. This tells her that you have her best interests at heart, but that you think of her as a friend. That will keep her guessing

-Ofcourse she will pick wrong, and go back to the bf, act like it doesn't phase you, you are just a really good friend remember? Remain good friends and keep up your long chats and spending time together etc, however don't jump everytime she wants you to jump, and don't ALWAYS be available.

2:Her bf will see the link you have with her, and the time you spend interacting, and will become jealous and frustrated. Let it happen.
-Perhaps even defend him (a little), when she complains about his jealous behaviour, because girls love to do that. in other words defend him in a way that makes it look like you are being sympathetic to him and trying to understand him, but in a way that backfires for him eg: "Oh he got angry with you and sulked? Well, im sure he will have gotten over it, and will have bought you flowers and will make it up to you next time you see him, I mean, he loves you right?" (If he doesn't he has performed below her hopes and expectations)

3:Now she will start getting frustrated, will compare her options.
-You and her bf. You are not jealous, you are her friend, you are more thoughtful, you would've bought her flowers if you had had a fight.. Her bf must go.. If she comes onto you before breaking up with her bf, then tell her that she will do things properly and break up first, if she really wants the relationship to happen.

So basically show her you are the better man, and her bf will destroy the relationship all on his own. Always keep it cool. Never slam the guy, let her come to those conclusions on her own. If you slam him, she will defend him. If however you defend him, she will slam him more in order to convince you, and in so doing she will convince herself further.

So....you do this often then?

Good advice I think!