what exactly constitutes cheating?

Vegeta said:
This whole thread has confused me beyond belief. Open relationship, can bang other people cant dance with them. Then the "I dont know how gay works" guy came along and added a whole new dimension, a great one might i add. Then the chick is bi. So many questions all impolite to ask but still so many burning questions. Like how does a bi open relationship stack up to a plain old regular open relationship vs i guess to you to the extreme end of the spectrum... monogomy.

Please break down the review in bite sized sections it might be too much all at once for the "I dont know how gay works"-guy

That guy is the best, would like to hear more of his opinions as well.
Click to expand...

ok so, I cant answer the Bi questions because I am straight.
so from my side we have an open relationship. as long as the other person is ok with who, you can hook up, in a nutshell.
for Car_B_OM its the same thing, she can have a girl or a guy if she wants to (this is an important bit, its who she wants to not who I want her to)
I have been in a monogamous relationship before, it did not work for me. I was a dirty cheating man whore who slept around simply for the kick it gave me of cheating. i know that sounds terrible, but its the truth.

as for RH with his I don't know how gay works, don't let him post more, he is a misogynistic emo kid using this forum to out his angst, and he will most likely balme American Idol for this one, seeing as he cant logically blame Game of thrones for this one.
 
Zewp said:
Oh wow. Arthur trying to push marriage again by claiming cheating can't happen outside of it. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Even more reason to approve of gay marriage now :D
 
STS said:
Even more reason to approve of gay marriage now :D
Click to expand...

or appose ALL marriage.
if no one is married then there will be no adultery, only pre marital sex. there will be no fights over gay marriage either. all in all abolishing all marriage is sounding pretty good...
 
Baxteen said:
ok so, I cant answer the Bi questions because I am straight.
so from my side we have an open relationship. as long as the other person is ok with who, you can hook up, in a nutshell.
for Car_B_OM its the same thing, she can have a girl or a guy if she wants to (this is an important bit, its who she wants to not who I want her to)
I have been in a monogamous relationship before, it did not work for me. I was a dirty cheating man whore who slept around simply for the kick it gave me of cheating. i know that sounds terrible, but its the truth.

as for RH with his I don't know how gay works, don't let him post more, he is a misogynistic emo kid using this forum to out his angst, and he will most likely balme American Idol for this one, seeing as he cant logically blame Game of thrones for this one.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the response, variety is the spice of life. Its most interesting i'm the boring type I like nothing more than to have someone all to myself but I believe other ways are just as valid and there's no one path to happiness. So what if you or her are not okay with the other hooking up with that person but you/her still want to?
 
Baxteen said:
as for RH with his I don't know how gay works, don't let him post more, he is a misogynistic emo kid using this forum to out his angst, and he will most likely balme American Idol for this one, seeing as he cant logically blame Game of thrones for this one.
Click to expand...

Let's be honest - he doesn't know how straight works either...
 
Vegeta said:
Thank you for the response, variety is the spice of life. Its most interesting i'm the boring type I like nothing more than to have someone all to myself but I believe other ways are just as valid and there's no one path to happiness. So what if you or her are not okay with the other hooking up with that person but you/her still want to?
Click to expand...

it has happened. more than once for both of us.
because we talk about it like adults the concerns are voiced, and discussed.
Imagine you are in the mood for restaurant X, and she is in the mood for restaurant Y. one of you is going to get what you want right?
its kinda the same thing. completely different but the same thing.

nothing wrong with being in only one relationship. I know it does not work for me.
 
Baxteen said:
honestly I have 1 relationship. the one that counts.

all the other people are simply something different to keep me more in love with the one I will spend the rest of my life with.
Click to expand...

Ok so I tried to wrap my head around this, but can't. How does being with other people make you more in love with your SO? Can you explain?
 
Vegeta said:
Thank you for the response, variety is the spice of life. Its most interesting i'm the boring type I like nothing more than to have someone all to myself but I believe other ways are just as valid and there's no one path to happiness. So what if you or her are not okay with the other hooking up with that person but you/her still want to?
Click to expand...

I honestly think humans are open by nature.

We try and keep to ourselves best we can. But there is always this urge to just have some variety and get it out of your system. Doesn't change the way you feel about your life partner. If you can honestly say you have never seen someone you desired while with your partner then I would say you're a freak of nature :p. We're just very good at deciding not to act on those desires as we can and have a choice. But by nature we're just sexually attracted to different people. That's how nature works
 
SaoirseB said:
Ok so I tried to wrap my head around this, but can't. How does being with other people make you more in love with your SO? Can you explain?
Click to expand...

Love and lust are 2 different things.

Think about it this way:
You love your mother with all your heart right? But you don't want to shag her.
Same goes for people in general. As I mentioned one post above. You would have and still will have sexual attractions to other people even not wanting to sleep over or have a relationship with them. You just have a desire to fark their brains out and carry on with life. You have a partner you love dearly probably more than life itself. Doesn't mean you're a sinner or wrong for lusting other people. It's natural.
 
I don't understand what the problem is? They are in an open relationship, they love each other but enjoy screwing other people.

It's basically the same as a swinging couple. There's many of them out there that are in this lifestyle. It works for them and they are happy with that arrangement. It doesn't mean they love each other any less.
 
SaoirseB said:
Ok so I tried to wrap my head around this, but can't. How does being with other people make you more in love with your SO? Can you explain?
Click to expand...

Because you let your partner do something that makes them happy even though it's not necessarily something that you partake in.

Them happy = you happy.

It's that simple. People get too emotionally attached to sex, which is why your viewed is screwed in this regard. You are emotional about it, Baxteen is not.

To him it's like playing Golf or doing any other kind of physical activity.

****

My earlier example of dancing is equally applicable here.

My wife used to dance professionally. I don't dance at all.

Now most people would see that as a deal break of some sort. Instead I just let her go dancing and supported her in all her competitions and things even with it often being a very intimate affair.

She enjoyed herself so she was very happy.

The alternative would be me saying NO you can't do that, just because I don't personally enjoy it. Therefore she would be unhappy and in turn that would come back to make me unhappy and ultimately jeopardize our relationship.

If she came to me today and tells me she wants to experiment sexually with other people and that isn't my cup of tea...then I have two options really. Break off the relationship and lose everything we built up together and be unhappy for it. Or let her have her way with experimentation (whether I'm interested in that myself or not) and ultimately be happier for it.
 
Last edited:
ShaunSA said:
Do not equate sex with a relationship. The two are vastly different.
Click to expand...

Did you fail to notice I said "relationship"? When I said satisfaction, I meant as in whatever you are getting from the relationship.

But this raises an interesting point for me. I'm not the type of person that falls in love, but I still have to form some kind of attachment/relationship with a person before having sex with that person. I know not everyone is the same, but I still struggle with understanding or believing that it's possible. Most especially when you're already in a relationship with another.

I'm inclined to believe and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I'm inclined to believe it's just a fear of commitment? Have you ever entertained this idea?
 
SaoirseB said:
Ok so I tried to wrap my head around this, but can't. How does being with other people make you more in love with your SO? Can you explain?
Click to expand...

I cant speak for Car_B_om but here is my logic.
so I know I like steak and mushroom sauce. but I dont want to eat it for dinner every night. when I have a burger I realise how much better steak tastes.

this is kind of the same thing. I love my SO with everything I am. I want to wake up and see her face, I want to talk about Lord of the rings with her or make a blanket fort to hide from the world after a difficult day.
at the same time, some days I want to lock myself in a room and not see anyone at all, this does not mean I don't love her.

being able to talk openly about your sexual desires and kinks, without any fear of being judged, is what makes the relationship work.
Maybe she wants to play out a kink I don't like the idea of with someone else, maybe I want to explore a kink that she does not like. the only way to make sure you are not sexually repressed is to have that kind of relaionship.
 
SaoirseB said:
Did you fail to notice I said "relationship"? When I said satisfaction, I meant as in whatever you are getting from the relationship.

But this raises an interesting point for me. I'm not the type of person that falls in love, but I still have to form some kind of attachment/relationship with a person before having sex with that person. I know not everyone is the same, but I still struggle with understanding or believing that it's possible. Most especially when you're already in a relationship with another.

I'm inclined to believe and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I'm inclined to believe it's just a fear of commitment? Have you ever entertained this idea?
Click to expand...

Not offended at all. But don't you think it's more a self esteem issue having a problem being naked and shagging a stranger or at least a someone you are familiar with?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X