what exactly constitutes cheating?

What most people don't realise is that they might perceive themselves to be in a monogamous relationship, that is one sexual partner in this context, but they're actually polygamous, though it might not be sexual in nature.

Because of human nature, you simply can not get everything you need from one person. You might get emotional support and sexual satisfaction from your partner but not necessarily social satisfaction.
 
SaoirseB said:
I'm inclined to believe and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I'm inclined to believe it's just a fear of commitment? Have you ever entertained this idea?
Click to expand...

That may be true for some but not for others. I always believed in monogamy - never even thought there was any other way. Until you've been with someone that you love for a long time and then realise with difficulty that no, they don't complete you 100% and you don't complete them. Also getting over the ego and jealousy component is frigging huge. But you still love them. But that missing part happens to be of a purely neanderthal sexual nature and does not mean anything except getting your rocks off.

As mentioned it can actually essentially save a relationship that is awesome but would otherwise have ended because of some stupid traditional notion of what a relationship actually is. So in a weird way you end up being happier together and can actually re energise what is actually great about the one you love.

Hope that makes sense.
 
SaoirseB said:
Did you fail to notice I said "relationship"? When I said satisfaction, I meant as in whatever you are getting from the relationship.

But this raises an interesting point for me. I'm not the type of person that falls in love, but I still have to form some kind of attachment/relationship with a person before having sex with that person. I know not everyone is the same, but I still struggle with understanding or believing that it's possible. Most especially when you're already in a relationship with another.

I'm inclined to believe and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I'm inclined to believe it's just a fear of commitment? Have you ever entertained this idea?
Click to expand...

I was referring to your statement about handling more than one relationship. I only have one relationship. Having sex with someone else does not imply any kind of "relationship".

We wouldn't have bought a house together or got married if we were scared of commitment. Not that we need a piece of paper to stay together. We do that because we love each other and have a life together.
 
Oh btw there is a difference between open and poly. Open normally means 1 relationship with casual involvement with other people. Poly usually involves multiple mutual relationships at the same time.
 
adinfinitum said:
Oh btw there is a difference between open and poly. Open normally means 1 relationship with casual involvement with other people. Poly usually involves multiple mutual relationships at the same time.
Click to expand...

I asked someone if that is like zooma and I was just laughed at :(
 
Pitbull said:
Not offended at all. But don't you think it's more a self esteem issue having a problem being naked and shagging a stranger or at least a someone you are familiar with?
Click to expand...

Firstly, I've never met anyone (stranger or otherwise) I wanted to shag the hell out of :D Yes I've met/known people I thought were really attractive, but my first thought wasn't about shagging them. Secondly, shagging someone I'm familiar with means we can at least set the ground rules and expectations before hand. I know self-esteem/self-hate is definitely part of the issue. Deep down I've always believed (which I've only recently admitted to myself) that I'm unlovable. I've always feared that letting someone close meant they would discover it and I would have confirmed that I'm equally incapable of loving/trusting other people. I'm still digging, but I've found that it all boils down to my formative years.
 
Funny how the people who are so confident didn't post in that old thread:whistle:
 
Akasha said:
I asked someone if that is like zooma and I was just laughed at :(
Click to expand...

I think multiple marriages may fall under polyamory. I think polygamy is a married type of polyamory? Somebody can correct me if I'm wrong. Every poly or open relationship is unique and it's difficult to give a 1 box fits all definition.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X