What would you do and say ?

wizardofid said:
Sorry for your loss
Life is short, I moved on. I don't know him, didn't get to experience the last 30 years with him so might as well be dead.
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I get you. Ive read your other posts about him not paying maintenance etc. I had a very similar situation.

My dad called me 4 days before his death indicating he has lung cancer and will be moving to CPT (closer to me and my sis) to rebuild our relationship and for treatment. I told him i am not interested, but kept the conversation going out of respect. 4 days later he passed and i will regret that phone conversation for the rest of my life. His then girlfriend recorded him calling us and showed it to us at the funeral. It broke my heart.

Hopefully my story might help you decide. I am an advocate for reconciliation.
 
jadiwolv said:
I get you. Ive read your other posts about him not paying maintenance etc. I had a very similar situation.

My dad called me 4 days before his death indicating he has lung cancer and will be moving to CPT (closer to me and my sis) to rebuild our relationship and for treatment. I told him i am not interested, but kept the conversation going out of respect. 4 days later he passed and i will regret that phone conversation for the rest of my life. His then girlfriend recorded him calling us and showed it to us at the funeral. It broke my heart.

Hopefully my story might help you decide. I am an advocate for reconciliation.
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Interesting how quickly people change their hearts just before they die. You see this happening so many times.

But yes, rather that living with regret because you were unwanted and then suddenly needed, go chat things out and move on with life. In the end you are the one that sits with the emotions and guilt and not the person that is dead.

Similar to suicide stories. People leaving suicide letters behind blaming it on someone else. Sick.
 
wizardofid said:
Lol good luck with that as well, he was divorced by the time I was 1, he never paid maintenance and considering there was a warrant for his arrest at one point good luck to him, I don't see ANY court siding with him, Considering the article states immediate family first.
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yeah, I think it is a bit of a stretch. Still an interesting read.
 
Lol The sperm donor replied to the email. Apparently I stayed in caravan park, my family threaten him not to contact me.The tone is that of trying to make me feel guilty for the apparent lack of contact.

Well f that shyte.

In fact the condescending tone of the start of the email, since you replied in English I will endeavor to answer in that medium, WTF.

You know what they say about leopard and their spots
 
Sounds like he did you a favour. Thank him and say have a good one
 
satanboy said:
I would hear him out and then tell him to F off or not respond further to any calls for contact.

my 5c
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Busy with my email reply now. Simply says, you made your peace now you can bugger off. :) I was quite happily trotting along, till he decided to insert him self back in the picture, with resurfacing hatred and will be a while before the dave's and his wives episode is forgotten.
 
maybe just check that nobody in his area has won lotto before cutting all ties. maybe there is profit to be made.
 
A friend of mine was abandoned by his father.

Years later the father got hold of him saying he was dying, had run out of money and wanted to reconcile. My advice was to see him to avoid feeling guilty.

My friend consulted a phychologist who said there's no need to feel guilty and no need to see him.
 
maumau said:
A friend of mine was abandoned by his father.

Years later the father got hold of him saying he was dying, had run out of money and wanted to reconcile. My advice was to see him to avoid feeling guilty.

My friend consulted a phychologist who said there's no need to feel guilty and no need to see him.
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That is easy to say. But hate and guilt can eat one from inside. Rather make peace and move on with life than slowly rotting form inside. Either way, it is a tough decision with lots of emotions involved.
 
RedViking said:
That is easy to say. But hate and guilt can eat one from inside. Rather make peace and move on with life than slowly rotting form inside. Either way, it is a tough decision with lots of emotions involved.
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I was quite happily trotting along, completely and utterly oblivious. Guess perfect time to have an existential early midlife crisis.

Can a brother spot me a few rond, I see the 1990 opel manza GOTY I like, wonder if I am still young enough to get a good looking cougar......
 
No need to respond immediately. Make him wait till Monday - it sends the message that you are not eager to correspond and let's you see how he reacts. If he pesters you before you respond - it gives an indication of whether he wants something.
 
As long as you at peace with whatever decision (no regrets later) you make. Continue with your life as normal.
 
Maybe he has a life threatening disease and wants forgiveness for how he treated you?
 
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