What would you do

I don't know if that's a matter of trust in the case of the colleague. I imagine it may be a combination of upbringing (probably male dominated, stigmatic) and past experiences\admonishments to stay away from the exes.

I whole heartedly agree that a relationship without trust is pointless.
 
carstensdj said:
Dont beat yourself up... IMO it's natural to have these worrying feelings as i know i would when ex's are involved, but from what you say it sounds like you have a solid relationship. Perhaps suggest that she pays her respects and then meet for dinner or lunch afterwards... That way she cant be there all day, and from your side you can chat to her and be a supportive husband... Just an idea
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I would do this.
 
HTC_guy said:
has she been visiting the parents the whole time?
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Thing is I don't know, because honestly I don't care. Her parents stay in the same neighbourhood. Just found it peculiar that she wanted to OK it with me first.

I have to admit though that I might have felt a little betrayed if she went there without telling me. That's it. But like I said we have a solid trust based relationship so it would not have been that big an issue
 
Just hope that you wife's ex boyfriend is not the Will Farrell character from Wedding Crashers.
No seriously how would you feel about this if it was your wifes ex fiance who has forged a strong relationship with his parents.
I'm sure his a big boy who won't require any special 'comforting'.
 
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grav80 said:
Thing is I don't know, because honestly I don't care. Her parents stay in the same neighbourhood. Just found it peculiar that she wanted to OK it with me first.

I have to admit though that I might have felt a little betrayed if she went there without telling me. That's it. But like I said we have a solid trust based relationship so it would not have been that big an issue
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The fact that she checked with you first is a good sign that it's a LEGIT cause... If she felt that it was for any other reason, she could've told u she'd be ANYWHERE... It's def a good start that she atleast asked, not told, but asked you about it. Seems legit to me! Just express your concerns with her, as this is part of what makes up a relationship is being able to speak your feeling to each other. Let her know how you feel, very subtly, which will make her more aware of your feelings, and she'll prob confirm the reasons why she needs to do this and all will be well :) As i mentioned, she was honest to start with...
 
Regardless of how you put it, this does boil down to either insecurity on your part or a lack of trust. It simply does. I want to say "let her go" but that implies that you have some sort of control in the matter, which you don't. Whatever you do, do not bring up your insecurities in this regard with her - it will probably lead to an argument.

She's going and you need to get over that. Being supportive and offering to maybe go with her would put you in much better stead than getting insecure about this all. She'd probably appreciate your offer to go with her, especially if she had a good relationship with the bloke. Might make you feel a little better too, but that's a bit of a cock-eyed reason to do so...
 
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