Don't be ridiculous. I managed to install and configure ubuntu linux with relative ease, and I'm not anywhere close to a nerd. I just recently learned that the internet has more uses than just browsing and e-mail...
What you need to do is the following:
Get one of the programs these guys suggested and read it's manual on how to burn an image. (not a difficult process at all - Recorder -> Burn Image. That's on Nero)
Then you leave the newly burnt ubuntu CD in your drive and restart your computer.
You follow a very simple setup with a few easy questions.
When you get to the partition manager screen, simply choose "guided" and resize your windows partition down about 10GB.
Then push install, and hey, 20 minutes later, your computer reboots with several options. The first being "Ubuntu" and the last being "XP" or "Vista"
You're done.