Why Dating Today Is Nearly Impossible

konfab said:
The simple reason why dating is difficult nowadays is that places where men and woman have the possibility of finding a good match have been socially ostracised. Most likely because of HR karens.

For example: take the workplace. Meeting a fellow employee at your work filters out a lot of undesirables. You know they work, so they have income. You have common interests by default. And so on. Yet this pretty much doesn't happen anymore because of workplace policies that pretty much forbid it.

Next is the gym. Again, if two random people meet enough at the gym, you have filtered out undesirables. Both keep to regular schedules. Both are interested in looking after themselves. And you have something in common. But it is social taboo for men to try and meet women at the gym.
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Rule # 1: Be good looking.
Rule # 2: Don't not be good looking.
Rule # 3: Don't blame women for not being attracted to your Jordan Peterson loving ass.

Women by and large don't want to be approached at work or at the gym, they are there to earn a living or work out.

That is not an issue with society, that is just being a person.

We don't live in a freaking romcom where fawning blondes live their lives waiting for a meet-cute with some random.
 
konfab said:
The simple reason why dating is difficult nowadays is that places where men and woman have the possibility of finding a good match have been socially ostracised. Most likely because of HR karens.

For example: take the workplace. Meeting a fellow employee at your work filters out a lot of undesirables. You know they work, so they have income. You have common interests by default. And so on. Yet this pretty much doesn't happen anymore because of workplace policies that pretty much forbid it.

Next is the gym. Again, if two random people meet enough at the gym, you have filtered out undesirables. Both keep to regular schedules. Both are interested in looking after themselves. And you have something in common. But it is social taboo for men to try and meet women at the gym.
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Nope, your comments only apply if you're unattractive. No one cares if someone they're attracted to approaches them regardless of where they are. It's only ugly people who complain about not being allowed to approach people in certain places.
 
SlinkyMike said:
Rule # 1: Be good looking.
Rule # 2: Don't not be good looking.
Rule # 3: Don't blame women for not being attracted to your Jordan Peterson loving ass.

Women by and large don't want to be approached at work or at the gym, they are there to earn a living or work out.

That is not an issue with society, that is just being a person.

We don't live in a freaking romcom where fawning blondes live their lives waiting for a meet-cute with some random.
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50 shades of gray and the zillions of erotic novels disagree.
 
azboob said:
Nope, your comments only apply if you're unattractive. No one cares if someone they're attracted to approaches them regardless of where they are. It's only ugly people who complain about not being allowed to approach people in certain places.
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This is accurate to a degree. I think that most people also just want to get through the day though which is what makes the office a terrible place to try and hook up.

Let's do a thing:

Imagine the least attractive woman in your office.

Imagine you are there chipping away at some spreadsheet and a couple of times a day she distracts you to try and hit on you in a semi-playful 'aint we just fun co-workers (but also let's bone)' kind of way.

You're annoyed and probably kind of put off (I don't know what you're into bro).

Now imagine a moderate to very attractive woman in your office and realise that there is a very high likelihood that she sees your advances as you see those of the less attractive woman.

Even if you are decent looking, well dressed and charming the decent thing to do is to avoid thinking with your piel at work and if you really must schit where you eat then do it at a social not by her desk.

Jim from The Office is an absolute creep in real life. Know that.
 
SlinkyMike said:
Now imagine a moderate to very attractive woman in your office and realise that there is a very high likelihood that she sees your advances as you see those of the less attractive woman.
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She also gets it from 10x more people.
 
One thing I’ll never understand is what they hire ugly chicks in HR. If you fill HR with hotties, they’ll find all the perverts one shot, because the perverts will be harassing them.
 
You want a date?

Take a baby to a wedding expo.

It will literally be dripping everywhere and you’ll need protection to get out of there alive.

Honestly I don’t know how it works but as a married man with a kid you are far more marketable somehow, maybe because it shows that you can get the thing done.

If I wanted to date it’s as simple as dropping my kids off at school and chatting to the nearest hot mom, they don’t even need to be single half the time.
 
SlinkyMike said:
This is accurate to a degree. I think that most people also just want to get through the day though which is what makes the office a terrible place to try and hook up.

Let's do a thing:

Imagine the least attractive woman in your office.

Imagine you are there chipping away at some spreadsheet and a couple of times a day she distracts you to try and hit on you in a semi-playful 'aint we just fun co-workers (but also let's bone)' kind of way.

You're annoyed and probably kind of put off (I don't know what you're into bro).

Now imagine a moderate to very attractive woman in your office and realise that there is a very high likelihood that she sees your advances as you see those of the less attractive woman.

Even if you are decent looking, well dressed and charming the decent thing to do is to avoid thinking with your piel at work and if you really must schit where you eat then do it at a social not by her desk.

Jim from The Office is an absolute creep in real life. Know that.
Click to expand...

I don’t think it’s necessarily about being super attractive so much as just being well presented and applying some personal care.

Most of the time when I see people who complain about being unable to find a date the reasons are pretty obvious within 5 minutes of observing them.

You need to make a minimum of effort but guys somehow expect a woman dressed to the 9’s with perfect makeup (or no need for it) who spends an hour every day in the gym and also makes her own money…while they are chilling in torn shorts and a crappy t-shirt with unkept dirty nails and hair from yesteryear while making conversation about inane kak nobody cares about with a vocabulary of a gnat.

You get out what you put in, so odds are if the mid attractive lady is hitting on you…then you are the male equivalent of that mid attractive guy and she figured you’ll match.

You simply can’t put out a 3 and expect a 10. And granted if you got the short end of the stick you can’t ever be a 10 but with a minimum effort you could present a 6 and with some luck pull a 7.

Also, just don’t be a creep. If you are intimidating to a person in any way they will never want to be around you. Present yourself as openly and normal as possible and odds are pretty good they come to you.

And for the love of all things holy just do one thing that is unique and not something everybody else does…and then don’t ONLY talk about that ad nauseam…let them bring it up and ask about it.
 
SauRoNZA said:
I don’t think it’s necessarily about being super attractive so much as just being well presented and applying some personal care.

Most of the time when I see people who complain about being unable to find a date the reasons are pretty obvious within 5 minutes of observing them.

You need to make a minimum of effort but guys somehow expect a woman dressed to the 9’s with perfect makeup (or no need for it) who spends an hour every day in the gym and also makes her own money…while they are chilling in torn shorts and a crappy t-shirt with unkept dirty nails and hair from yesteryear while making conversation about inane kak nobody cares about with a vocabulary of a gnat.

You get out what you put in, so odds are if the mid attractive lady is hitting on you…then you are the male equivalent of that mid attractive guy and she figured you’ll match.

You simply can’t put out a 3 and expect a 10. And granted if you got the short end of the stick you can’t ever be a 10 but with a minimum effort you could present a 6 and with some luck pull a 7.

Also, just don’t be a creep. If you are intimidating to a person in any way they will never want to be around you. Present yourself as openly and normal as possible and odds are pretty good they come to you.

And for the love of all things holy just do one thing that is unique and not something everybody else does…and then don’t ONLY talk about that ad nauseam…let them bring it up and ask about it.
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Yea spot on. A lot of SA males tend to think they can pull whilst cruising around in a PT pant and flip flops.

There are also loads of guys in their late 30s - early 40s, out of shape and expecting to hook up with 20 year old gym bods. They get seriously uptight if you point out that it ain't gonna happen and even more so if you point out that it's a little gross. Men tend not to be able to do that little role reversal exercise: imagine you're 22 and theres an out of shape 40-something woman acting like you owe her a pomp, fun hey?

Just be realistic, be clean and decently turned out (if you don't have an eye then do this: chinos, a shirt ((with buttons)) and a pair of Stan Smiths, nothing could be easier), and don't wear hiking boots as casual wear.

Also, and this is the outlier part: if you are naturally confident and funny it doesn't matter what you look like. I've see some Shrek looking mofos with attractive partners, you ask yourself how and then after a beer and ten minutes straight laughing with the guy you realise it's just plain charisma. The dude is genuinely likeable and that's hard to beat.
 
SlinkyMike said:
Just be realistic, be clean and decently turned out (if you don't have an eye then do this: chinos, a shirt ((with buttons)) and a pair of Stan Smiths, nothing could be easier), and don't wear hiking boots as casual wear.
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Caveat here…dress for what you want.

If you are looking for a Barbie you need to look like Ken.

If you are looking for a goth girl, you need to look like Dracula.

If you wear hiking boots as casual wear…then you attract hiking boots as casual wear and shouldn’t be at all surprised if that’s all you get.

Somehow guys seem oblivious to the above and want to put in zero effort but expect to attract Barbie.

Also, unless you are Ken and high maintenance yourself…you really don’t want Barbie.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Caveat here…dress for what you want.

If you are looking for a Barbie you need to look like Ken.

If you are looking for a goth girl, you need to look like Dracula.
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True, up to around their early 30s, most women have way more options than the average man. The average attractive women is very used to getting hit on.

It does get easier for men and harder for women with age though. The average women around 35 does not have too many good options.
 
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