Why do girls not like being treated nice?

If you have plans for tonight cancel. I double fccking dare you.
 
So much testosterone wafting around in this thread. "show her who's boss" "show her who wears the pants", etc

What happened to just being yourself? If you're assertive by nature then fine. If not, then so what. If she doesn't dig you for who you are, then **** her.

Pretending to be something you're not just to keep a girl is lame.

I wonder how many of the guys advocating the "macho" stance here, can actually pull it off.
 
It seems just being himself has led to this crisis in the first place.
 
porn$tar said:
So much testosterone wafting around in this thread. "show her who's boss" "show her who wears the pants", etc

What happened to just being yourself? If you're assertive by nature then fine. If not, then so what. If she doesn't dig you for who you are, then **** her.

Pretending to be something you're not just to keep a girl is lame.

I wonder how many of the guys advocating the "macho" stance here, can actually pull it off.
Click to expand...

Don't be naive
 
porn$tar said:
So much testosterone wafting around in this thread. "show her who's boss" "show her who wears the pants", etc
Click to expand...

I know she wants me to be in control, as the guy. And I am in control, I do make decisions that affect both of us already. Okay, right now they are minor, such as where to eat or whatever. yes I ask for her input.

Anyway, with that being true, the only way she would want me in control is if she knew she could trust me to make the right decisions, like not choosing a restaurant she would hate, as another minor example. And this doesnt really relate to my problem. In fact, my "dilemma" (some people make it sound like this is something huge and we're gonna break up over it, lol!) is caused by me taking on responsibility, as I always do, and her handing responsibility to me, as she is used to, and me allowing too much of this responsibility handling to take place. That is the central issue.

What happened to just being yourself? If you're assertive by nature then fine. If not, then so what. If she doesn't dig you for who you are, then **** her.

Pretending to be something you're not just to keep a girl is lame.

I wonder how many of the guys advocating the "macho" stance here, can actually pull it off.
Click to expand...

I agree. I am never fake around her. Nor do I act macho for the sake of being macho. I am myself, and she seems to like that. Its only lately that I feel things have been a bit one sided, but that doesnt mean either of us is being fake. It just relates to boundaries, effort and responsibilities.

To all the naysayers saying that our relationship is doomed - lol! This really is a storm in a teacup, and this apparently is what I get for asking the internet for advice.
 
porn$tar said:
So much testosterone wafting around in this thread. "show her who's boss" "show her who wears the pants", etc

What happened to just being yourself? If you're assertive by nature then fine. If not, then so what. If she doesn't dig you for who you are, then **** her.

Pretending to be something you're not just to keep a girl is lame.

I wonder how many of the guys advocating the "macho" stance here, can actually pull it off.
Click to expand...

Dude, that is naive. One, there's nothing wrong with testosterone and two what happens when who you are is a douche bag? Not saying you're a douche bag Ancalagon. Theirs nothing wrong with changing behaviour to improve yourself and get the results you want. We've all been doing it since birth - it's called education. When do we decide we're just fine the way we are? After we stop ****ting our pants? When we've learned to say please and thank you and not punch people in the face? Or when we have everything we want the way we want it? The worlds not perfect, people aren't perfect and the only thing we can change is ourselves. So, here's a dude with a problem, I see part of the problem being his behaviour, I think he should change it. If he's happy exactly the way he is then good for him. Don't change but stop complaining then. If you're not happy with the results change your behaviour!

And indecently I do treat woman this way. Not always and not even always when I should, but that's how I know what works and what doesn't. Being extra nice to anyone who isn't reciprocating is always a bad move. Sitting down and discussing it may or may not help. I doubt it'll help because it's partly (at least) because of his behaviour. Changing the behaviour is the way to go in my opinion.
 
Ancalagon said:
As the title says.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 weeks now, yes quite a short time but things have moved really quickly. Within a few days of meeting each other, we started spending almost all of our time with each other. I sleep over at her house almost every night now.

Anyway, things have been going great, until recently. She seems to have become comfortable with me putting most of the effort in. I drive her around, I go to her house, I make plans only with her, we watch the TV shows she wants to watch, I remember to lookup things on the internet that she mentions in passing, I always make her tea in the mornings and sms first every day. Suffice to say, its becoming a bit one sided and I'm getting sick of it. Why is it, when you treat a girl nice, she becomes bored? Stops bothering to put effort in. What the hell? Now I need to scale back, even though I want to see her, just so that she will start to take more of an interest again and putting more effort in.

Before you ask, I understand the confidence thing. As a matter of fact, I'm very confident. She even asked me, when we started dating, how I got so confident (that sounds like a boast but its not meant to be, its just there to illustrate a point). I know girls want men with a backbone, and I have no problem with that. I do have a backbone. The thing is, up until now, I was doings the Man Way - simple and direct. I want to sms you, so I sms you. I want to see you, so I see you. It turns out that because we get on so well, I want to sms or see her pretty much all the time. But me doing that meant she started putting in zero effort.

So now I need to start doing things the female way. I need to avoid seeing her even though I want to see her, to get a point across. You cant imagine how much it irritates me, not being straight with someone, just so they wont get bored with me and find someone else. So now I dont know whether to tell her I dont feel appreciated, which might make her run for the hills anyway, or carry on holding back to see if she gets the message.

So why are women like this? Why do they want to be treated badly at least some of the time? Some, or most of the time, a girl will want to be treated like a princess. The rest of the time, she wants to be treated like dirt. The thing that gets me, is that no girl will admit to wanting to be treated like dirt. But treat a girl too nice, and she will lose interest and disappear. Guaranteed.

Look at this for a good explanation. Earlier on in that thread are some posts by me on the subject.
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Push-Pull effect. Google it. Psychology FTW
 
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