why do people marry

[Slootvreter]

It's basically a way for a couple to tell each other that they are so sure about this, that they are willing to take a big step. It's not the same as just "being together". If you are just together, she/he *might* leave the relationship with the first BIG fight. There is always a quick exit. If you are married, you work things out, because if someone leaves you break that symbolic bond.

This is ridiculous. If you're in a relationship, you should fight for it as you would have in marriage.

 

[Keeper]

Yes - people take marriage too lightly these days - seen so many people get married to the first person they dated rofl

If I got married to my 1st GF...man.... lets just say that would be f*cked up.

who here has married the first person they met?

 

[cerebus]

I don't know many people in relationships who feel the same way about their partners. In fact I don't know if I've seen any really successful 'long term partner' relationships.

 

[SirFooK'nG]

This is so basic ...

Its the ultimate commitment to a partner, to promise before God, family and freinds to love and be part of eachothers life, without reserve for all your life and thereafter. Its a celebration of the completeness of the bond two humans can share with eachother.

Fin...

 

[blunomore]

This is so basic ...

Its the ultimate commitment to a partner, to promise before God, family and freinds to love and be part of eachothers life, without reserve for all your life and thereafter. Its a celebration of the completeness of the bond two humans can share with eachother.

Fin...

Not everyone is religious, IRG.

So many of the weddings I have seen started with flair in the church, big reception, blah blah .... not too long and it is all over.

People should do something for themselves and for the partner, not to impress the friends/family/inlaws. Just for you and your SO, IMO.

 

[SirFooK'nG]

Not everyone is religious, IRG.

So many of the weddings I have seen started with flair in the church, big reception, blah blah .... not too long and it is all over.

People should do something for themselves and for the partner, not to impress the friends/family/inlaws. Just for you and your SO, IMO.

The point is not religion at all, I beleive in a higher being ... does not make me a religious nut, I don't go to church. Point is that you are so comfortable in your relationship so as to celebrate your partnership with all. It is a symbolic gesture on both parts to completely give youreslves to eachother for ever! Hence CELEBRATION thats what a wedding is.

 

[blunomore]

The point is not religion at all, I beleive in a higher being ... does not make me a religious nut, I don't go to church. Point is that you are so comfortable in your relationship so as to celebrate your partnership with all. It is a symbolic gesture on both parts to completely give youreslves to eachother for ever! Hence CELEBRATION thats what a wedding is.

You made a point of mentioning God, indicating that it does matter to you.

To me it is a commitment.

 

[Nuro]

This is ridiculous. If you're in a relationship, you should fight for it as you would have in marriage.

It's not the same. If you are not married it is MUCH easier to throw in the towel. You might be willing to fight for the relationship, the other party might not feel that way. This is why marriage is still important (and why people are doing it wrong). You KNOW that just giving up is not an option.

 

[SirFooK'nG]

You made a point of mentioning God, indicating that it does matter to you.

To me it is a commitment.

Fine, point taken... No use in trying to argue religious views. Never a win win point.

 

[blunomore]

It's not the same. If you are not married it is MUCH easier to throw in the towel. You might be willing to fight for the relationship, the other party might not feel that way. This is why marriage is still important (and why people are doing it wrong). You KNOW that just giving up is not an option.

Many men (espcially them) feel the opposite. They feel that if a marriage did not work out, the women destroy them financially out of a need for revenge.

 

[Nanfeishen]

Many men (espcially them) feel the opposite. They feel that if a marriage did not work out, the women destroy them financially out of a need for revenge.

Actually that can work both ways, if the man has been earning less than the woman , he can claim loss of lifestyle, and claim maintanance from the woman, it happens.
Or if the woman buys a house, and puts her partner down as co-owner, he need not provide a cent towards the upkeep, maintance, rates taxes, etc, yet claim half after the breakup, and she may be forced to sell up or pay him out half the value of the house.

Back to OP question:
Friends of mine in Norway , say its not worth it getting married, especially for the younger generation, as single parents, get state funded schooling, tax reductions, and all sorts of welfare benefits for the kids, which fall away once they enter a marriage, therefore it is preferable to live together as single parents in the same house than to live together as husband and wife.

 

[blunomore]

Actually that can work both ways, if the man has been earning less than the woman , he can claim loss of lifestyle, and claim maintanance from the woman, it happens.
Or if the woman buys a house, and puts her partner down as co-owner, he need not provide a cent towards the upkeep, maintance, rates taxes, etc, yet claim half after the breakup, and she may be forced to sell up or pay him out half the value of the house.

SA is still a very partriarchal society. Men MORE OFTEN THAN NOT earn more than women which means they are the ones paying up in case of divorce.

Back to OP question:
Friends of mine in Norway , say its not worth it getting married, especially for the younger generation, as single parents, get state funded schooling, tax reductions, and all sorts of welfare benefits for the kids, which fall away once they enter a marriage, therefore it is preferable to live together as single parents in the same house than to live together as husband and wife.

Scandinavian countries in particular are actually well-known for having lots more couples living together than getting married. SA is not a social welfare to the extent that a lot of European countries are.

 

[kiepie]

This is ridiculous. If you're in a relationship, you should fight for it as you would have in marriage.

Agree

Yes - people take marriage too lightly these days - seen so many people get married to the first person they dated rofl

If I got married to my 1st + (2nd) GF...man.... lets just say that would be f*cked up.

who here has married the first person they met?

+1

 

[Slootvreter]

Women marry money, men marry tits & ass. It's all wrong.

 

[Nuro]

Many men (espcially them) feel the opposite. They feel that if a marriage did not work out, the women destroy them financially out of a need for revenge.

Yeah, and it's pretty sad. I know people who avoid commitment just because of finances (more specifically their personal gain/loss). One guy actually told me he wont marry because "she will spend all my money". If you go with that attitude it's doomed anyway. Egos don't help. Ultimate trust plays a massive roll in marriage, and both parties need to know that. It needs to be both ways if it's going to work.

 

[Nuro]

Wouldn't it be interesting, if we actually saw, couples marring other couples?

or even have some kind of 3/4/5 way marriage?

firstly, the children would have a much better alternatives, and there would be much more collaboration in a home, the marriage won't ever get boring , and lets face it, some people can't help but love more than 1 person, and there would be much more collaboration in a home.

only a 2c suggestion, i have not thought this thing out.

People are jealous and vindictive. I predict murder, or at least a good Jerry Springer episode

 

[Waaib]

I have a colleague who has been legally separated for more than 15 years. If he gets divorced his wife will take half his pension fund (UK law) even though she is successful in her own right and in no small part through his support to make her so.

 

[blunomore]

I have a colleague who has been legally separated for more than 15 years. If he gets divorced his wife will take half his pension fund (UK law) even though she is successful in her own right and in no small part through his support to make her so.

And why do you think the courts will give it to her? There must be some reasonable explanation behind the legal position regarding maintenance?

 

[j3n0va]

Many men (especially them) feel the opposite. They feel that if a marriage did not work out, the women destroy them financially out of a need for revenge.

My mother did that to my dad when I was 4. Personally I feel being married is far too restrictive for a person like me. I wanna be able to come and go as I please without having to always make sure it's okay with the missus though maybe when I'm 35 I'll consider it

 

[Juggy]

Many men (espcially them) feel the opposite. They feel that if a marriage did not work out, the women destroy them financially out of a need for revenge.

And they wouldn't be far wrong.