WHY DO WE KEEP DIGGING THEN??

SlickChick said:
Yes I am afraid history would repeat itself. Love is a risk though isn't it? I am trying so hard not to be paranoid... Maybe we should give people the benefit of the doubt. I guess I wouldn't be in a relationship with this guy if I didn't trust him at least a little bit. He doesn't really give me a reason not to anyway. I just hope he has Job's patience... it may take awhile and I don't want him to become exasperated...
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Just be open with him, my ex used to always think i was cheating on her (ooo the irony), but i honestly did not mind putting her mind to rest, its when she would tried to catch me out when I was totally honest with her that irritated me, remembered once she went through my emails, she dug up stuff 3 years before i even met her...who is this, what did she mean to you, why did you say that, did you have sex with here, where is she now, are you cheating....lol, quite funny if i think about it now.
Just be honest with your guy and play open cards with him, if something is bothering you, raise it with him and talk like 2 adults.
 
Lament said:
Just be open with him, my ex used to always think i was cheating on her (ooo the irony), but i honestly did not mind putting her mind to rest, its when she would tried to catch me out when I was totally honest with her that irritated me, remembered once she went through my emails, she dug up stuff 3 years before i even met her...who is this, what did she mean to you, why did you say that, did you have sex with here, where is she now, are you cheating....lol, quite funny if i think about it now.
Just be honest with your guy and play open cards with him, if something is bothering you, raise it with him and talk like 2 adults.
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Shame man that isn't nice... I am honest with him, but I guess when the same issues keeps coming up someone eventually gets tired. I know he is not the problem, it is me. The more I love him the scarier it becomes.
 
SlickChick said:
Shame man that isn't nice... I am honest with him, but I guess when the same issues keeps coming up someone eventually gets tired. I know he is not the problem, it is me. The more I love him the scarier it becomes.
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It depends from person to person, in the 3 years we dated, not a single week would pass that she did not suspect me of cheating, it never bothered me, i actually found it cute :o, but that was just me hey, he might not think its cute and get angry after a while...
i don't think anything i or anyone else say will convince you to trust him, after what happened to me i have the exact same problem, its difficult, but it should not be a game changer in my personal opinion, the longer you guys are together, the easier it will become, if he really loves you, then your insecurities will just be a challenge for him, and he must help you work through it without getting to upset.
 
Lament said:
i don't think anything i or anyone else say will convince you to trust him, after what happened to me i have the exact same problem, its difficult, but it should not be a game changer in my personal opinion, the longer you guys are together, the easier it will become, if he really loves you, then your insecurities will just be a challenge for him, and he must help you work through it without getting to upset.
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Well, just glad that SOMEONE understands that it is difficult for me :). Just as for you, I love him enough to not let it be a game changer for us. Strangely enough I am very sure of the fact that he loves me and it is comforting to me when you say that it will get easier with time. You've clearly been there. I guess trust is a choice, and in this case, digging is not a good idea, it is just creepy :o.
 
supersunbird said:
The truth is best, I can plan better with the truth...
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Yup, like I said at least then you know exactly what you are dealing with... maybe in my case it isn't about the truth. It is about being paranoid and scared. They say there is no fear in love... we love each other and maybe I should just go by that?
 
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken...
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To find that, I would do much! :D
 
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