Wife cheated

Polymathic said:
So I take it her folks live in another province?
Her attachment to her parents makes me wonder if you guys are Indian. :p
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Not at all. Her parents stay a 1000km away. It’s weird. If her mom messages her just to ask how’s things, then she will leave anything and everything to first respond to her mother. It’s been that way (and it’s definitely her mother, as i saw)

im not bad mouthing her.
 
James 77 said:
Not at all. Her parents stay a 1000km away. It’s weird. If her mom messages her just to ask how’s things, then she will leave anything and everything to first respond to her mother. It’s been that way (and it’s definitely her mother, as i saw)

im not bad mouthing her.
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In an alternative universe's version of you guys: she tells you how she feels and to save the marriage you guys move closer to her parents to save the marriage.

Now that version of you has his in-laws in his face 24/7 with 0 privacy.

A friend of mines wife is overly attached to her parents and they live about 4km away from them. When he was newly married coming home from a long day at work to find his in-laws at home and this was on a daily basis.

He eventually put his foot down and now his wife spends at least 2 hours a day at her parents.
 
johnjm said:
Yes, she is human like everyone else. Humans make mistakes. Rather move out than continue what sounds like a pretty dysfunctional arrangement.

I don’t know you, but no one is perfect, and i highly doubt you were the perfect husband either way. I’m not saying you brought this onto yourself, I’m saying instead of making more kak than there already is, just move on then.

What do your parents say?
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I agree, no one is perfect. But in terms of marriage I always gave my 100 %.

Its a shock for them, they can’t believe it.
 
Polymathic said:
In an alternative universe's version of you guys: she tells you how she feels and to save the marriage you guys move closer to her parents to save the marriage.

Now that version of you has his in-laws in his face 24/7 with 0 privacy.

A friend of mines wife is overly attached to her parents and they live about 4km away from them. When he was newly married coming home from a long day at work to find his in-laws at home and this was on a daily basis.

He eventually put his foot down and now his wife spends at least 2 hours a day at her parents.
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This is it exactly. There would never be any privacy for us. Every day and every weekend they would be together. It’s a difficult situation, of course I love her. But if she communicated her thoughts and feelings to me then we could have talked it over.

a week before this all happened I asked her about it, wether she’d prefer to be closer to her parents and she said no, she will talk to me if she is unhappy.
 
It’s been 7 days since this whole thing started, or rather escalated. And she shows no remorse whatsoever.

The attorney is handling the documents at the moment.

But it is clear that she has lost her mind. Her actions are from cooking food and asking me if she can get me anything from the shops and running me a bath (she’s never done it)
To not wanting to look at me and being defensive about everything.

obviously this situation has gone on for long enough. She will be out on the street as soon as the divorce documents are signed. Which will be tomorrow
 
James 77 said:
It’s been 7 days since this whole thing started, or rather escalated. And she shows no remorse whatsoever.

The attorney is handling the documents at the moment.

But it is clear that she has lost her mind. Her actions are from cooking food and asking me if she can get me anything from the shops and running me a bath (she’s never done it)
To not wanting to look at me and being defensive about everything.

obviously this situation has gone on for long enough. She will be out on the street as soon as the divorce documents are signed. Which will be tomorrow
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Ask for some head and tell her to hit the road
 
randomcat said:
Ask for some head and tell her to hit the road
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Understandably you still sound in love and are looking for some "good" vibes.
You are vulnerable and can easily be brainwashed to take her back.
Forget her, lose all contact with her as soon as possible. She will not change and will do it again.
Don't worry if she looks hurt, don't worry for her feelings, don't even bother to try and hurt her.
Forget and move on
 
This thread still going on? Get rid of her, she will most likely cheat again eventually and make your emotional health ****ed if you continue to entertain a cheater.
 
abzob said:
Not equally. No. You took vows with your wife, not with the stranger. What he did might be immoral but it’s not your place to ascribe morality on him. Your wife is 100% to blame. The stranger has no responsibility for your marriage.
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And if he knew she was married?
 
skimread said:
She is too nonchalant about cheating. She had no emotional connection to the guy but just cheated. This is a huge warning sign. It means you married a slut who wanted to try marriage. It might have felt special to you but to her a long-term commitment was something she wanted to try. It didn't make her happy. Now she wants an out. She is waiting for you to get angry so she can have a reason to say you behave X way and that is why she is leaving you. The fact that she admitted cheating will help you in divorce proceedings. Don't screw it up by extending it.
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:ROFL:
 
James 77 said:
It’s been 7 days since this whole thing started, or rather escalated. And she shows no remorse whatsoever.

The attorney is handling the documents at the moment.

But it is clear that she has lost her mind. Her actions are from cooking food and asking me if she can get me anything from the shops and running me a bath (she’s never done it)
To not wanting to look at me and being defensive about everything.

obviously this situation has gone on for long enough. She will be out on the street as soon as the divorce documents are signed. Which will be tomorrow
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Very strange.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Do you think her doing things for you is a way of showing remorse?

Or, a more cynical way of looking at it is that she wants to look good when this goes to the divorce court (if there is any disagreement, not sure how divorce works).
 
James 77 said:
It’s been 7 days since this whole thing started, or rather escalated. And she shows no remorse whatsoever.

The attorney is handling the documents at the moment.

But it is clear that she has lost her mind. Her actions are from cooking food and asking me if she can get me anything from the shops and running me a bath (she’s never done it)
To not wanting to look at me and being defensive about everything.

obviously this situation has gone on for long enough. She will be out on the street as soon as the divorce documents are signed. Which will be tomorrow
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Wow that was quick, but in reality its the best case scenario for you.
I cant read through all of the pages in this thread, but what did her parents say about this? What was their opinion of you before this happened?

Just be glad this happened now while you are both still young. Im sure she will try to contact you at some stage, if you doubt your willpower for possibly trying to make it work again then avoid all contact.
Actually scrap that, avoid all contact either way. It might be interesting to know how she is doing down the line but rather just avoid it.
 
I would at the very least separate before making big decisions. But that is just me. Divorce to me is a last resort and also the easy way out. I would have told her on the first day to pack her bags and go stay with her parents or where ever and then give myself time to think about it and make rational decisions and also gives me time to find the man she slept with and how I will deal with him.
 
RedViking said:
I would at the very least separate before making big decisions. But that is just me. Divorce to me is a last resort and also the easy way out. I would have told her on the first day to pack her bags and go stay with her parents or where ever and then give myself time to think about it and make rational decisions and also gives me time to find the man she slept with and how I will deal with him.
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I would also recommend waiting a bit in a normal marriage situation. This seems really different though, she didnt even want to try work it out, she just wanted out.
With no kids, age and how badly all of this went down, I would say end it and move on. Its probably best for both parties.
 
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