Wife cheated

J

James 77

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So what a shock this has been. Totally unexpected and out of the blue.
We have been married for 3 years and up until last week we were perfectly happy, so it seemed.

she said she was having coffee with a girlfriend and she’d be back in time for dinner. I send her a text and her response was crude to be honest, unlike her. Long story short I confronted her when she got back and she confessed to sleeping with a guy and she wants a divorce.

The shocking part is, it’s been 5 days after this happened and she is still here, although in a different room. And haven’t talked about him, went there or anything. So the whole situation is breaking my mind completely.

I’ve asked her repeatedly if she wants to be with him or if she loves him and she says no every time. But you don’t just jump into bed with someone when you are married.
 
James 77 said:
So what a shock this has been. Totally unexpected and out of the blue.
We have been married for 3 years and up until last week we were perfectly happy, so it seemed.

she said she was having coffee with a girlfriend and she’d be back in time for dinner. I send her a text and her response was crude to be honest, unlike her. Long story short I confronted her when she got back and she confessed to sleeping with a guy and she wants a divorce.

The shocking part is, it’s been 5 days after this happened and she is still here, although in a different room. And haven’t talked about him, went there or anything. So the whole situation is breaking my mind completely.

I’ve asked her repeatedly if she wants to be with him or if she loves him and she says no every time. But you don’t just jump into bed with someone when you are married.
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Get professional help.

Here you will only get the value you pay for it.

Good luck, it sucks.
 
The worst thing is there were no problems with any aspect of our relationship. The only thing ever mentioned was that she wishes she stayed closer to her parents.
And she wants to go back now and has a reason.
 
When a woman or man for that matters does this its been set in their minds for a while. Somewhere a long the line something was missing and they got it from someone else (or so they think). Any case as Kola said, get proper help and sort it out one way or the other depending if you still want to save it, but it would probably better to call it. Then try again with someone else if you want; either way it is not going to be easy you might think so now, but **** like this needs to be worked before it works you. Friends, close ones if you have can be a good letout/shoulder to lean onto as needed...
 
KantSnyer said:
Relationships are complex and no-one here knows your situation well enough to tell you what you need to do, you have an opportunity to reset where you're headed in life, take stock and make a decision that's best for you.
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honestly even we don’t understand it. I’ve been talking to some close friends and no one can make head or tails from this.

she says it’s about moving back to her parents. But why sleep with someone else if that’s the case.
 
You have questions...that is normal.

This is really the last place I would ask if it was my relationship.

Really close friends, maybe.
A professional without a personal interest in either side - go there.
 
Nemoneiros said:
When a woman or man for that matters does this its been set in their minds for a while. Somewhere a long the line something was missing and they got it from someone else (or so they think). Any case as Kola said, get proper help and sort it out one way or the other depending if you still want to save it, but it would probably better to call it. Then try again with someone else if you want; either way it is not going to be easy you might think so now, but **** like this needs to be worked before it works you. Friends, close ones if you have can be a good letout/shoulder to lean onto as needed...
Click to expand...
It’s a very weird situation for me. I’ve tried getting help, talking to close friends etc. And she is dead set on getting a divorce to go back to her parents. And in the same breath she keeps saying he meant nothing.

But it’s true what you said. I think she thought she got something else, but it wasn’t. The grass isn’t greener.
 
James 77 said:
It’s a very weird situation for me. I’ve tried getting help, talking to close friends etc. And she is dead set on getting a divorce to go back to her parents. And in the same breath she keeps saying he meant nothing.

But it’s true what you said. I think she thought she got something else, but it wasn’t. The grass isn’t greener.
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Let her go. It's painful, but not as painful as going through all this again later on.

She could have divorced you without subjecting you to her infidelity.
 
It’s just a messed up soapy type of scenario.
She is still living here and wants to do things together.
She insists that I can’t do anything to change her mind. But she can hardly look me in the eye
 
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