Wife issues [Solved]

Cr419 said:
Way to much effort. Tell her you saw the message, and ask what's going on. No lying, and no sneaking around anymore. That's where all his problems started.
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Let me guess, you're the type of person that when a naai cuts the line in front of you at the movies you say, "It's ok".
 
Cr419 said:
Way to much effort. Tell her you saw the message, and ask what's going on. No lying, and no sneaking around anymore. That's where all his problems started.
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It's actually simple. An approach that seems honest.
 
Cr419 said:
Way to much effort. Tell her you saw the message, and ask what's going on. No lying, and no sneaking around anymore. That's where all his problems started.
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Do you think him finding the message will suddenly give her a wake up call and end it?

She's a big girl, transparency should come from her.
 
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
 
Anonymouse123 said:
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
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ward councillor for DA or ANC

in time for elections
 
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Anonymouse123 said:
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
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I honestly think you're overplaying this. You know best, but I would not be making threats and demands. It could seriously be something of no relevance and you're forcing her to be defensive. Once they go defensive, the writing is on the wall.
 
WaxLyrical said:
Do you think him finding the message will suddenly give her a wake up call and end it?

She's a big girl, transparency should come from her.
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Sometimes people need a wake up call. She could be lying to herself, perhaps she is telling herself that its just a friendship (perhaps she wants more friends) she might not have realise that its crossed some sort of line.

Similar situation with a mate of mine, his wife made friends with one of the other dads at the kids swimming lessons. So every week they talked and eventually they started chatting on the phone. One day he asked her out to coffee....
She actually told my mate and they did argue about it... but it goes to show that innocent things can change quickly.
 
Iamnotageek said:
Let me guess, you're the type of person that when a naai cuts the line in front of you at the movies you say, "It's ok".
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Only you would know how you got to that conclusion.

WaxLyrical said:
Do you think him finding the message will suddenly give her a wake up call and end it?

She's a big girl, transparency should come from her.
Click to expand...

Just saying what I would have done. Sometimes if things bothers you it's best to just say it and get it over with. Sneaking and lying has a way of biting you in the behind afterwards.
 
Anonymouse123 said:
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
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yoh... ok dude but perhaps don't give ultimatums like that. Its possibly not as serious.
 
Anonymouse123 said:
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
Click to expand...

I think you've gotten yourself all worked up. (I don't blame you)
Just do the 1st sentence and take it from there.
 
Dude dnt leave your house...or did you find worst than what u saying. If you found out early, you can fix this.
 
Nerfherder said:
Sometimes people need a wake up call. She could be lying to herself, perhaps she is telling herself that its just a friendship (perhaps she wants more friends) she might not have realise that its crossed some sort of line.

Similar situation with a mate of mine, his wife made friends with one of the other dads at the kids swimming lessons. So every week they talked and eventually they started chatting on the phone. One day he asked her out to coffee....
She actually told my mate and they did argue about it... but it goes to show that innocent things can change quickly.
Click to expand...
Your mates wife telling him eventually WAS the wake up call. Ultimately you set your own boundaries.
 
What the OP's wife is doing is a symptom of a greater issue. The way forward is to find out why she's entertaining this lawyer skollie in the first place. There are two people in your relationship, but for the sake of the children, be slow, and kind, and think. Children are very fragile and precious. The tedium of life, the struggles of little ones, school etc. Maybe she's feeling stifled? Maybe you need to have fun with your family? Are you doing enough to keep engaged and happy? (these are things I ask myself a lot, and fail dismally at)
 
Anonymouse123 said:
My plan as follows.

After kids go to bed speak to her about the issue at hand. after that I will inform her I am leaving tomorrow morning and the next time we meet is at a councillor Friday morning if she is serious about the relationship.

That will give her time to think if she want to be together.

If not so be it. If it is we can work towards something.

Thanks for all the great and not so great advice
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Bit of an overreaction there batman.

It does, however, illustrate exactly what I suspected all along that you are super controlling expecting her not to even look at another dude or be looked at.

But good luck.
 
itsme2 said:
What the OP's wife is doing is a symptom of a greater issue. The way forward is to find out why she's entertaining this lawyer skollie in the first place. There are two people in your relationship, but for the sake of the children, be slow, and kind, and think. Children are very fragile and precious. The tedium of life, the struggles of little ones, school etc. Maybe she's feeling stifled? Maybe you need to have fun with your family? Are you doing enough to keep engaged and happy? (these are things I ask myself a lot, and fail dismally at)
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yeah good point ...maybe OP is at fault
 
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