Your Parents ~ Your Liability !

[HavocXphere]

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you now?

Not at all. I'm 30.

Bit of background since you seem mildly interested:

Me: High-powered job in Europe. Good cashflow, limited assets considering since some early fkups (yay me!) & emigrating nuking things to zero (literally)
Them: Breaking even on month to month & struggling, very decent retirement savings though

Parents cut corners to put me into a strong position (pushed me through private schooling system & varsity when realistically they couldn't afford it esp private). That's a debt I'll never be able to repay.

The plan is to help them 0% (they're doing OK-ish), but catch them 100% if need be.

Anyway...I scored the jackpot on this topic: 100% cohesiveness in family, 0% conflict/animosity, middle class so bit of $$$, everyone willing to sacrifice anything for the good of next generation.

 

[Safrica]

Came from a indian "location"
Public School
1 car household
Lived in a 3 bedroom home
Parents that worked hard

I Was blessed in trading
Brought my Dad in business as
Director with no duties when business stabilised
Build houses together
Will make sure he and my mom
More comfortable that me and my family

Later got into giving back to community
Feeding Schemes
Small investment in Bursarys
Involve in charity boards

I would rather give than spend on un necessary luxury

When you reach this you find a different peace

I can not understand why someone would find there parents
A burden when they your luck and happiness

 

[senyetse]

MIL's only income is State pension due to financial stupidity. FIL passed away several years ago leaving her with nothing (cancelled life insurance but all the while had premium DSTV!). But how can one just turn a blind eye? We're paying for her hospital plan. Then I found out recently that my father is not on medical anymore although he has the financial resources but he's too old to join again at an affordable rate. On top of that other family members now also in financial dire straits (also due to financial stupidity!).

 

[SoulTax]

Came from a indian "location"
Public School
1 car household
Lived in a 3 bedroom home
Parents that worked hard

I Was blessed in trading
Brought my Dad in business as
Director with no duties when business stabilised
Build houses together
Will make sure he and my mom
More comfortable that me and my family

Later got into giving back to community
Feeding Schemes
Small investment in Bursarys
Involve in charity boards

I would rather give than spend on un necessary luxury

When you reach this you find a different peace

I can not understand why someone would find there parents
A burden when they your luck and happiness

I salute you for wanting to give back to your family and your community. But it is easy to say that these things are not a burden to you when you have the money to spare. For people living on or close to the bread line, any unnecessary monies spent on anyone, parents included, might mean less for their own kids. And I dont mean less as in no PS4 or something like that. I mean trying to save to send your kids to Varsity, or good schools in general. What do you do when your parents start bleeding the future from your own kids? Who do you owe more to at that point?

 

[Safrica]

I salute you for wanting to give back to your family and your community. But it is easy to say that these things are not a burden to you when you have the money to spare. For people living on or close to the bread line, any unnecessary monies spent on anyone, parents included, might mean less for their own kids. And I dont mean less as in no PS4 or something like that. I mean trying to save to send your kids to Varsity, or good schools in general. What do you do when your parents start bleeding the future from your own kids? Who do you owe more to at that point?

Honestly my faith allows me to believe that the more you give the more comes
Do date everything just falls into place

on the other hand i wouldnt buy a vehicle i could offered
or a house, would rather purchase something at half value so there is always
something to give back

trying getting involved into any community project
that joy is more than money

see a smile on your parents face
no money can ever buy that

 

[supersunbird]

I salute you for wanting to give back to your family and your community. But it is easy to say that these things are not a burden to you when you have the money to spare. For people living on or close to the bread line, any unnecessary monies spent on anyone, parents included, might mean less for their own kids. And I dont mean less as in no PS4 or something like that. I mean trying to save to send your kids to Varsity, or good schools in general. What do you do when your parents start bleeding the future from your own kids? Who do you owe more to at that point?

You owe your kids more than your parents, in my opinion.

 

[ToxicBunny]

You owe your kids more than your parents, in my opinion.

I think its a bit more complicated than that... but ultimately you are correct

You owe your kids and their potential kids etc more than your parents, and your parents should feel the same... Its the "upliftment" of the family into the future.

 

[Pitbull]

You owe your kids more than your parents, in my opinion.

No one is saying cut your kids off because of your folks

You have an obligation to both your parents and your kids and you can find a resolve to cater for both. If that means less PS games for the kids... so be it..

 

[ToxicBunny]

No one is saying cut your kids off because of your folks

You have an obligation to both your parents and your kids and you can find a resolve to cater for both. If that means less PS games for the kids... so be it..

If it means cutting out luxuries, then yes support your folks, but if it means the difference between feeding and educating your kids properly or your folks, then which would you choose?

 

[unskinnybob]

Only reason I had kids was so I could squat with them someday.

 

[supersunbird]

If it means cutting out luxuries, then yes support your folks, but if it means the difference between feeding and educating your kids properly or your folks, then which would you choose?

Yes, this.

 

[Pho3nix]

Only reason I had kids was so I could squat with them someday.

Not sure if you meant this as a joke but a lot of parents actually do,do this.

 

[Mike Hoxbig]

I have no issue with providing financial support to my (or my gf's) parents. But I draw the line at people moving in and cramping my personal space...

 

[Pitbull]

I have no issue with providing financial support to my (or my gf's) parents. But I draw the line at people moving in and cramping my personal space...

Now this I agree with x 100

My parents can move in I will even build them a nice granny flat or something. But it's very hard sharing personal space constantly. I would probably murder one of them eventually

 

[BigAl-sa]

This thread has been a revelation for me (as someone who is in the age group of parents mentioned) - it would appear that most okes would rather see their parent became squatters than help them - the mind boggles...

Go EFF if this is the attitude.

 

[supersunbird]

This thread has been a revelation for me (as someone who is in the age group of parents mentioned) - it would appear that most okes would rather see their parent became squatters than help them - the mind boggles...

Go EFF if this is the attitude.

You must have been reading a different thread than the rest of us...

 

[supersunbird]

No one is saying cut your kids off because of your folks

You have an obligation to both your parents and your kids and you can find a resolve to cater for both. If that means less PS games for the kids... so be it..

Still waiting... what if you have only enough for your kids some kind of decent, former model C, schooling and no luxuries like PS or fancy cellphones (only a Kicka) or anything like that and are just just scraping by, would you stuff your kid in a no fee township school to take parent in?

 

[Pitbull]

Still waiting... what if you have only enough for your kids some kind of decent, former model C, schooling and no luxuries like PS or fancy cellphones (only a Kicka) or anything like that and are just just scraping by, would you stuff your kid in a no fee township school to take parent in?

What you waiting for?

My kids will get an education and food. If that meant model C school instead of private school so be it. If it means Bread instead of lunch money, so be it...

Are you telling me, you can't house 2 more people and feed them as you will not survive?

You are talking shyte!

 

[supersunbird]

What you waiting for?

My kids will get an education and food. If that meant model C school instead of private school so be it. If it means Bread instead of lunch money, so be it...

Are you telling me, you can't house 2 more people and feed them as you will not survive?

You are talking shyte!

Relax, no, not my situation nor yours.

Picture yourself, being unable to save and just scraping by (hand to mouth basically) and the only "luxury" you have is to send kid to former model C school. Send the kids to a no fee, overcrowded, "bad" school and take in the parents or not?

If you are unable to imagine yourself in this hypothetical situation, that's fine too.

 

[Pitbull]

Relax, no, not my situation nor yours.

Picture yourself, being unable to save and just scraping by (hand to mouth basically) and the only "luxury" you have is to send kid to former model C school. Send the kids to a no fee, overcrowded, "bad" school and take in the parents or not?

If you are unable to imagine yourself in this hypothetical situation, that's fine too.

I will probably still send my kids to the Model C school and not pay school fees or shun some other bills. I will however not be able to live with myself if my parents are living on the street. No matter how hard it will get. Yes, it's easy for me to say so know knowing I would be able to afford it should it come to that. Obviously at the expense of some luxuries. But even if I had only 1 apple to divide between 4 people. I will divide it into 6 pieces to feed my two parents.

The saddest part of this though, my parents are fine financially and will probably be able to look after themselves till the end. You then have kids who can afford it but let their parents starve...