These guys are f.king you without condoms. You don't really need to do the body work, do the mechanical stuff that is needed and do the rest over time. Eventually you can sell the car for market value and start over. This guys on the forum actually gave you some good advice, don't look back in two years and regret not listening.
honestly OP, you sound exactly like me, when I had my ECU problems,
stopped, think, and then act,
tow the car to Dekra, see exactly what needs fixing to make the car drivable, go to a scrapyard, and get the parts needed,
DONT pay something that exorbitant, as Honda see a scared little Kid, and think lets get our beer money for the month out of you.
you can fix it for a lot less than what honda quoted you, go to a good mechanic, see what needs fixing, and fix it to make it drivable,
I just think your going to dig yourself a deeper hole OP, like myself,
Kia quoted me for a New ECU 18K at the time, the ENTIRE engine cost 9,5K,
eventually caught the gautrain to PRY and got myself an ECU for 4,5K with fitting another 500, and I was up and driving.
learn from everybody here, dont make the same mistakes. dont go buying a new car for a fender bender,