Am I going to hell?

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superB

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I dislike my mother so much that I want to punch things the moment she starts talking to me. There is nothing and nobody in this world that can make me so viciously angry. I actually lose the ability to think normally when she is in my sphere. And she has the capacity to drive me this wild even though she lives on the other side of the world.

AAAAARGH :mad:

Am I going to hell for feeling like this or is she going to hell for acting like this?
 
Depends, is she just being this way to be nasty or is it perhaps warranted in some way?
 
superB said:
I dislike my mother so much that I want to punch things the moment she starts talking to me. There is nothing and nobody in this world that can make me so viciously angry. I actually lose the ability to think normally when she is in my sphere. And she has the capacity to drive me this wild even though she lives on the other side of the world.

AAAAARGH :mad:

Am I going to hell for feeling like this or is she going to hell for acting like this?
Click to expand...
buy her flowers
 
superB said:
I dislike my mother so much that I want to punch things the moment she starts talking to me. There is nothing and nobody in this world that can make me so viciously angry. I actually lose the ability to think normally when she is in my sphere. And she has the capacity to drive me this wild even though she lives on the other side of the world.

AAAAARGH :mad:

Am I going to hell for feeling like this or is she going to hell for acting like this?
Click to expand...

Are you 18 yet?
 
I knew a guy whose mother hated him ... he turned everyone against her only for it to come out that he'd been really messing his own life as well as hers up ... His drug abuse had gotten to the point of him stealing from his own mom ... :(

Now mine can just be b1tchy for fun ... is this the case with yours as well?
 
I wouldn't say it's as clear cut as 'yes' or 'no'.

My previous potential mother in law was Satan disguised. The things I saw her put my exgirlfriend through were terrible.

She'd go out of her way to hurt her through blackmail, manipulation and lies every few days.

I've never seen a mother as revolting as she was and if she was my mother, I'd have written her off and wanted nothing to do with her.

Doubt I'd go to hell either ; as I'd be saving my sanity.
 
Dolby said:
My previous potential mother in law was Satan disguised. The things I saw her put my exgirlfriend through were terrible.

She'd go out of her way to hurt her through blackmail, manipulation and lies every few days.
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I reckon I was married to your ex-girlfriend!

Children don't owe parents anything. Some parents don't get that I think.

As for hating your mother ... I think you should try to ignore or rise above the buttons she's pushing. Very tough to do I know.

I'd also like to know how old you are. Between 16 and 28ish I reckon are very tough times to relate to your parents. They want what they think is best for you. You think you know what is best for you.
 
Waaib said:
Between 16 and 28ish I reckon are very tough times to relate to your parents. They want what they think is best for you. You think you know what is best for you.
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Once you're old enough, you realise exactly what your parents sacrificed for you, and then you appreciate them SO much.

Sadly, there is never ever enough you can give or do for them to ever pay back that debt - it is huge :)
 
blunomore said:
Once you're old enough, you realise exactly what your parents sacrificed for you, and then you appreciate them SO much.

Sadly, there is never ever enough you can give or do for them to ever pay back that debt - it is huge :)
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I get what you are saying but the appreciation shouldn't be based in/on debt or owing and more on love.
 
Waaib said:
Children don't owe parents anything. Some parents don't get that I think.
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Yup - respect is earned and not a given.

Also what this women never quite got. Would bring up that she helped with her deposit on the car, and house, and she did XYZ for her etc.

Maybe I'm wrong - but if I had a child, I'd expect to look after them for roughly 21 years.
 
Waaib said:
I get what you are saying but the appreciation shouldn't be based in/on debt or owing and more on love.
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Not pecuniary debt :)

Simply amazement at realising what they did for you - without you even fully realising it at the time.
 
blunomore said:
Once you're old enough, you realise exactly what your parents sacrificed for you, and then you appreciate them SO much.

Sadly, there is never ever enough you can give or do for them to ever pay back that debt - it is huge :)
Click to expand...

I agree completely ... Parents really do give up a lot, and on a bigger note, PUT UP with a lot too ... I only realised mid 20's just what my folks did for me in my life, it's amazing how we don't even give it a thought in the earlier years. I also found that I appreciated the "tough love" times because now I can actually see that I was wrong, and in fact it was not that my mother hated me.
 
Dolby said:
I wouldn't say it's as clear cut as 'yes' or 'no'.

My previous potential mother in law was Satan disguised. The things I saw her put my exgirlfriend through were terrible.

She'd go out of her way to hurt her through blackmail, manipulation and lies every few days.

I've never seen a mother as revolting as she was and if she was my mother, I'd have written her off and wanted nothing to do with her.

Doubt I'd go to hell either ; as I'd be saving my sanity.
Click to expand...


Yup. That sounds about right. This time she has lied about me to my sister who is now pissed off with me (for something I didnt do). To top things off my daughter (bless her cotton socks) lives with them and unless I give in, and admit to this imagined deception of mine, they are going to severly limit my talking / skyping with her. She is only 5 so I pretty much rely on them to talk to her. My mother has done it before where she is pissed off with me & all of a sudden the webcam is broken or the phone cuts out. When she is really pissed off she'll answer and just say no when I ask to speak to my little muffin.

*sigh*

Guess I'll have to admit defeat.
 
blunomore said:
Once you're old enough, you realise exactly what your parents sacrificed for you, and then you appreciate them SO much.

Sadly, there is never ever enough you can give or do for them to ever pay back that debt - it is huge :)
Click to expand...

blunomore - I have the greatest respect for the sacrifices my parents have made but I'm also not blinded by that respect. My parents, for all the love they have given my siblings and I, are just as human as I am. I can see that and accept that as such, but they still hold on to the archaic view that as parents they are faultless. That is simply not true. Just because they are parents does not give them the right to enforce their will AT ALL TIMES. I have a child of my own so I understand the difficulties and sacrifices that come with parenthood. But I do not believe that that gives parents carte blanche in their dealings with their kids.
 
superB said:
I dislike my mother so much that I want to punch things the moment she starts talking to me. There is nothing and nobody in this world that can make me so viciously angry. I actually lose the ability to think normally when she is in my sphere. And she has the capacity to drive me this wild even though she lives on the other side of the world.

AAAAARGH :mad:

Am I going to hell for feeling like this or is she going to hell for acting like this?
Click to expand...

My mother told me when i was younger..... that just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to like them......... (we disliked each other for a long time, still do sometimes, but i sure do love her)
 
superB said:
blunomore - I have the greatest respect for the sacrifices my parents have made but I'm also not blinded by that respect. My parents, for all the love they have given my siblings and I, are just as human as I am. I can see that and accept that as such, but they still hold on to the archaic view that as parents they are faultless. That is simply not true. Just because they are parents does not give them the right to enforce their will AT ALL TIMES. I have a child of my own so I understand the difficulties and sacrifices that come with parenthood. But I do not believe that that gives parents carte blanche in their dealings with their kids.
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I agree 100% !

I do not get along with my dad, because of a lot of reasons, but I must acknowledge he made some sacrifices for me.
 
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