Well, I know my machine inside out. I've been in the computer business for over a decade. I KNOW my machine. Not in the biblical sense you understand, but I'm up to speed with my rig.
I have no known viruses, no spyware. I run ad-aware and S&D Spybot regularly with the latest updates. My OS is up to date with the latest sp and patches. All my drivers are up to date. I've tried it with firewalls up and AV on, and with both off. The temperature of this room is just right, and the moon is in optimal position. I'm holding my lucky rabbit foot, touching wood, crossing my fingers and toes, making a wish upon a star, praying and having faith, with garlic around my neck, standing under mistletoe... and oh, LOOK!
...still blazing a trail at 2.5kb/s
I'm so very tired of being on hold.