Attachment to people..

F

feo

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I get attached to people way too easily. My boss just resigned and is emigrating and I'm pretty heartbroken. Almost choked up when saying my last goodbye to him.

But even in general, once there's a new person in my life, I find it extraordinarily hard to let go of them.

Is that normal?
 
I'm pretty much like you ... my boss resigned today as well & I also felt **** :/ Tomorrow is his final good bye.

My brothers friend once (I knew him though) left for UK for a year and I also felt really sad.

I'm super normal btw - so you're ok :P
 
Dolby said:
I'm pretty much like you ... my boss resigned today as well & I also felt **** :/ Tomorrow is his final good bye.

My brothers friend once (I knew him though) left for UK for a year and I also felt really sad.

I'm super normal btw - so you're ok :P
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Tell me about it...my boss is probably the most unbelievable human being I've met in a long time and I was actually fighting back the tears when he left.

Thing is, even with my colleagues and other work acquaintances, I also feel majorly depressed if they move on to something else.

I'm an only child BTW, our house is very quiet so maybe that has something to do with it?
 
That's good to hear, can't say the same for myself though, except when my girlfriend is not at home, then I get as sad as a sadmandudeguybro :)
 
there is nothing wrong with it, i also tend to get attached to people easily, and i think it is something that is very good since allot of people make these brick walls around them and just make as if they care about no-one, i would rather be seen as a sissy and actually care than be seen as a prick who couldn't care about no-one
 
I have no doubt you'll say I am preaching, feo, but -

1. Nothing is permanent. Everything changes.

2. To believe otherwise, to cling to anything or anyone (including yourself), expecting it to be enduring, whole, and a self, is to create and amplify suffering. And we all do it :)
 
blunomore said:
1. Nothing is permanent. Everything changes.
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This I know. But when you're in someone's company the entire day and that person becomes pretty much embedded into your every day life, it's VERY hard to let go, especially for me.

Taking my bosses resignation as an example again, some of the other guys in the team were sad, yes, but nowhere near what I was feeling. Do you think this whole attachment thing dissipates with age? The older you get, the less you give a sh*t about people?

blunomore said:
2. To believe otherwise, to cling to anything or anyone (including yourself), expecting it to be enduring, whole, and a self, is to create and amplify suffering. And we all do it :)
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But why do we do it?
 
feo said:
..... it's VERY hard to let go, especially for me.

But why do we do it?
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Not easy to explain in a sentence or two.

There is no real "self", we create a false sense of a self based on our experiences and memories. We fail to see there is no fixed self and that the world around us is ever-changing and an illusion.

By ignoring the true nature of our reality, we protect this sense of self because we are under the illusion that the permanent self exists. Even though all things are just temporary, we project permanence, a belief that our house or car or even our bodies are permanent, yet houses will crumble, cars will rust, bodies will get sick and die and our loved ones will not be with us forever. We therefore feel and get attached to those things.

Because of this attachment, we suffer and feel pain and hurt when we are faced with the reality of impermanence.

Hope that makes sense to you :)
 
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feo said:
Do you think this whole attachment thing dissipates with age? The older you get, the less you give a sh*t about people?
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No the older we get the fewer acquaintances we have maybe, but the friends that last through the years become closer, and therefore it becomes harder when they leave or move on to other pastures, with so much that you have shared.
 
Looks like Blu and Nanfeishen were reading from the same book.
:confused:

:D

Oh poetry, thou is pulling at thine heart strings.

FWIW, I also get quite attached. Especially in movies. When chicks like Jolie die - it's like there one less hot person left in the world..

:(

My boss won't resign/die/burn in hell/choke on throw-up.
:mad:
 
I moved around a lot when I was in school. Consequently I don't get attached to people. People come and go through life. It's more sad than prick though.
 
Our secretary who's been at this school for the last 31 years and who also underwent her whole schooling here many years ago (31+12 years), is retiring today. She's almost 70. :(
 
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