Depression.

KT-B said:
It is easy to believe that your mind controls your body. That is until the body decides it has had enough of that game and wants to do it's own thing. In my case it is actually my mind that got bored and decided it was going to go have fun somewhere else.
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Where did it go to?
 
You can heal yourself!

Try the app "Let's Meditate" it's a great place to start. In my experience it's best to look inward and increase self care to find healing and grow your resilience.

Exercise and diet are also huge! Particularly vitamin B's, D and Omega's. If you take any type of anti depressants this is even more important because long term medication depletes essential nutrients and causes imbalances.

Make sure you have healthy boundaries it might create some drama because people who violate boundaries are not healthy and will most certainly push back. Nobody is more important than your mental health, end of story!

Quit the extreme black and white thinking inner peace is in the "middleway" (Buddhist) or in the grey area (psychology)

Beyond healthy discipline go easy on yourself *provided your intentions are from a good place.

Cultivate a growth mindset! Everything is temporary and we all have potential to be better and do better.
 
Go on a Ibogaine retreat, reset you brain.
I'd do it, but don't have the money or the time. So I just keep taking the meds.
 
Im beginning to realise that I am a toxic human & incapable of sustaining relationships/some friendships.

I either have Bi polar disorder or Borderline personality disorder.

They haven't figured it out yet.

Every relationship ends with dramatically or me hurting the other person.

I just feel like a trash human & toxic.

Sometimes I think it is best if I left people alone.
 
chefdude98 said:
Im beginning to realise that I am a toxic human & incapable of sustaining relationships/some friendships.

I either have Bi polar disorder or Borderline personality disorder.

They haven't figured it out yet.

Every relationship ends with dramatically or me hurting the other person.

I just feel like a trash human & toxic.

Sometimes I think it is best if I left people alone.
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SOME people just generally have wierd connections with regards to people. perhaps you just waiting for people who actually meaning something to you? like real connections.. not fake ha ha bullkaka
 
So its been more than a year, Is your depression better than it was, if so, what are you doing to help?

copacetic said:
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Let me just give a little background about myself, and what has helped me.
I have been suffering the last 17 years (probably longer, but I was diagnosed 17 years ago), 35 now so basically half my life.
I have tried most anti depressants on the market. I have yet to find a pill that really works. (Wellbuterin worked +- 2 weeks). I think the medication has fcked me up more than it has helped me. But I know people who simply cannot go without their medication. I just wish there was a better way to diagnose depression and whats causing it. Everyone is not the same and thus everyone cannot be treated the same, and yet we all get the same meds...

Anyway,
This year I decided to try a few different things, and touch wood i'm feeling much better.
*Excuse my English, not my first language.

Meditation
I still struggle as my mind wanders a lot and I have trouble focusing. But I do feel this has had an impact. The more you do it the easier it becomes, It clears your mind and helps me focus on things. I could list "self hypnosis" as well, but I feel they are extremely similar, youtube is full of self help hypnosis vids. Do yourself a favor and have a looks.

No porn
Even though this most probably does not cause depression, it does not help either. The longer I go without porn, the better i'm feeling. This is something not everyone will admit to, or even think its a problem. But I have been watching porn since the internet has been available to me. (at the very least twice a week). People watch porn and think nothing off it, but who has actually tried stopping for 1 month, only 1 month...you soon realize its a addiction we are not even aware of. So I have stopped completely. Closest i get to porn it watching a girl in a bikini :p

Reading
I noticed the better part of my adult life I have not read that much. I feel like cellphones and computers takes away our ability to think and imagination, causing us to be zombies. Try spending less time on your phone and reading more. I want to actually go on a holiday and completely just switch off all technology and see how it goes. This is another addiction we are not aware off. I can challenge almost anyone on this form to refrain form any form of digital technology (PC. Table, cellphone) and 99% will fail. Like porn cellphones and the likes causes a spike of dopamine. We are so used to our dopamine fix, its extremely difficult to go without it. How can this be good...

Stop smoking and *drinking
I also stopped smoking, this has had a very good affect on my life. You sleep better, have more energy, food tastes better and you can actually smell things. So even though it did not cause depression, the effects of me quitting has made life a little better.
I have never been a big drinker, But what i have realized is if I go and and have a BIG night. It will take me weeks to pick myself up. It makes me depressed like nothing else. So now I avoid it completely. A castle light now and again does not hurt. But the moment I drink enough to have a babelas........

Other things that's worth a mention, when I was younger (middle twenties) I used to klap it in the gym boet :p, , during this time I was probably the least depressed I have been the past couple of years. I have quit gyming about 4 years back, and my depression the last 4 years has been the worst it has ever been.
So I have bought myself one of these "rowing machines", just to try and get fit again. And its been a week now, and the amount of energy I have its just unbelievable. So exercise is a definite must. Even if its just 20min a day.
The problem I found is, when you are really down the dumps, its very hard convincing myself to exercise.
I have a theory, and that is one needs to hit absolute rock bottom before we pick our self up (well with me at least). I reached a point in my life whereby I could see I complain about everything, i'm in the dumps, but I do nothing about it, How will my life ever get better if I just wait for it to get better....
*At this point I might just mention, No single thing causes depression. If you are depressed then you are depressed. You can be a millionair, this wont change it. But living a better life helps.

Then weed, my old friend weed....I started smoking weed to deal with stress/anxiety. even though i'm sure weed does not help, it helps when i'm stoned. And the next day you still feel pretty crap so you don't worry that much about anything, and at night you just smoke again.
This went of for a few years. There was a time I was sure its the weed causing my severe depression, so i stopped a couple of months ago. It did not take away my depression, but what it did do was help me to think clear again. Which helps when you are depressed. You cant dig yourself out if you cant think clearly..

I have a few other things in my life that I know is not helping. My gf being the mother of all cats and me being allergic to them (and basically fcking hating the things), not being able to live together because I cant live between the cats, my work circumstances, the unfortunate living arrangements I have to deal with at home etc. But try and remove the things that's causing you grief/stress. Removing the things we have power over helps just that little bit. It might be the difference between going over the edge..., The less things you have to deal with, the better you will feel. The better you feel, well obviously the less depressed you are.

And one last thing, try living more neatly, our lives outside is a reflection on whats going on inside. Once you start living more neatly, and I mean really trying you start feeling better about yourself. Like a sense of accomplishment if you will.
 
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Noob-Noob said:
So its been more than a year, Is your depression better than it was, if so, what are you doing to help?
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That first post was more than six and half years ago. Bloody hell.

Short answer to your query is sort of, which is not the most exciting answer but a truthful one.

Currently on medication, and trying to engage in lifestyle behaviours which contribute to the war effort but it's a bit of a struggle, generally, especially as the more stressed I get, the more I tend to misbehave / become demotivated.

My latest experiments may well involve psychedelic compounds, which I'll comment on when it becomes relevant.

What do I NEED to do at this point, in the short term? Eat better food, exercise and change some external factors that are not helping matters very much.
 
I have always given up on medication.

Feel so numb when Im on it.

Sticking to medication hopefully it works.

People always comment that "Im not myself" when im on medication.

They notice how numb I am & less "bubbly".

I am self critical. Whenever I am overly happy, "oh i might be manic" or sad 'oh i must be depressed"

I never allow myself to just be ME.

I want to try to be more outgoing & exercise a bit more.

I think I have relied on medication & therapy too much & it hasn't helped much.
 
My sleeping patterns are ****ing terrible. Zopax does nothing, zopivane does nothing and circadin does nothing.
 
chefdude98 said:
I have always given up on medication.

Feel so numb when Im on it.

Sticking to medication hopefully it works.

People always comment that "Im not myself" when im on medication.
.
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If meds will help you, why care about what others think?

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional, I've just been taking meds and it's made me a lot calmer, have less bad thoughts, and way less angry.
 
I've found the most amazing psychiatrist. Her name is Dr Renata Schoeman, she confirmed I don't have something and didn't want to see me again after the second appointment. I was so glad to hear I don't have what other doctors were diagnosing me previously with.

If any of you are in CPT, she's the best I've ever been to.
 
Akasha said:
If meds will help you, why care about what others think?

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional, I've just been taking meds and it's made me a lot calmer, have less bad thoughts, and way less angry.
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Thanks, you have a valid point. I tend to care too much about how other people perceive me.
 
Hey, hope you are all keeping alright, thread's a bit sleepy.

Does anyone have any referrals for psychiatrists in Cape Town (or South Africa) that do Ketamine infusions or Psilocybin Mushrooms/MDMA assisted psychotherapy? Please PM me!

Over the years I've been on Paxil, Lexamil, Fluanxil, Wellbutrin, Exsira, Ritalin/Concerta, Weed (most incredibly effective at first), probably 20 hours of therapy with 3 different psychs, nothing breaks me from this **** long term, at my wits end here, wasted so many prime years of my life stuck in my head. These substances mentioned can physically alter the wiring of the brain in a positive way, I'm done with these useless meds and therapy at R1000/h.

Thank you and hope this life treats you well.
 
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copacetic said:
That first post was more than six and half years ago. Bloody hell.

Short answer to your query is sort of, which is not the most exciting answer but a truthful one.

Currently on medication, and trying to engage in lifestyle behaviours which contribute to the war effort but it's a bit of a struggle, generally, especially as the more stressed I get, the more I tend to misbehave / become demotivated.

My latest experiments may well involve psychedelic compounds, which I'll comment on when it becomes relevant.

What do I NEED to do at this point, in the short term? Eat better food, exercise and change some external factors that are not helping matters very much.
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Brief update:

I'm moving out of a very toxic and unsettling living situation on Saturday into my own little nest, where all I have to worry about is are, well, whatever responsibilities I have decided to take on. And it has fibre! Whoo!

I can't speak for anyone else, but I have had quite remarkable success with perspective changes emanating from moderate doses of psilocybin mushrooms. They are, honestly, just about magic, in my experience.

Next step after making my move is getting on top of work issues and related stresses, and just figuring out how to have some more damned fun in this strange life we are thrust into.
 
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Noob-Noob said:
And one last thing, try living more neatly, our lives outside is a reflection on whats going on inside. Once you start living more neatly, and I mean really trying you start feeling better about yourself. Like a sense of accomplishment if you will.
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Very good post but I just wanted to mention this. I notice it myself. When I'm really done, I'm not as clean. I don't look after myself. But its almost like a two way street. If I put a bit of effort in, clean my house, look after myself, I feel better because I've done something productive and my space is more organised.

bustaboom said:
Hey, hope you are all keeping alright, thread's a bit sleepy.

Does anyone have any referrals for psychiatrists in Cape Town (or South Africa) that do Ketamine infusions or Psilocybin Mushrooms/MDMA assisted psychotherapy? Please PM me!

Over the years I've been on Paxil, Lexamil, Fluanxil, Wellbutrin, Exsira, Ritalin/Concerta, Weed (most incredibly effective at first), probably 20 hours of therapy with 3 different psychs, nothing breaks me from this **** long term, at my wits end here, wasted so many prime years of my life stuck in my head. These substances mentioned can physically alter the wiring of the brain in a positive way, I'm done with these useless meds and therapy at R1000/h.

Thank you and hope this life treats you well.
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I think my cousin had ketamine for her depression but I don't know who prescribed it. You have to go into hospital for that - I think they put you under with it.

As for mushrooms or MDMA, I'd be amazed if you could find a psychiatrist who would prescribe it for you. It isn't that difficult to get hold of - although with MDMA, you are never sure of whether you are getting the right stuff.

Be careful with mushrooms though. Treat them with great respect.
 
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