Depression.

AnimateX said:
I'm starting to realise the same. A lot of my activities I used to share with friends/family and I've got to start enjoying them for myself. Watch a movie, just enjoy it on your own. Made some new art or music, appreciate the journey and what you've done for yourself. Sounds like you got out there though and were able to experience some good things. Nature is amazing and I'll push myself some more to get some fresh air and sights.
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Yes - we need connections but cannot let the lack of diminish our experiences. We deserve to enjoy sunrises, sunsets, looking at the moon, finding creatures, etc.
 
Taking up walking saved my life a few years ago. That and a painting I purchased in ‘23. I still get depressed but can manage it a little better now. Also a proper smartwatch is surprisingly useful in keeping you motivated.
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Damn, I relapsed this week. Had a good few months being alcohol-free but recently had moments of weakness between stress and uncertainty and now I feel bad about chugging it again. There seems to be a point where I can't deal and turn back to my old ways. I don't want it though, I want a clear head and sobriety. I try so hard to not do this... I'm hoping it's just temporary?
 
Yeah, with the new job, higher on the food chain, the novelty is starting to wear off. Been burning the candle on both ends. Now it's tiredness/burnout. The pesky dark voice and thoughts are starting again. The dopamine is going downhill very quickly. The bottle is calling again, shouting. The intrusive thoughts of driving into a tree, truck, ditch, etc while driving are coming up again; just end it; you're worth nothing.
There are a lot of things, just piling and piling up.
 
AnimateX said:
Damn, I relapsed this week. Had a good few months being alcohol-free but recently had moments of weakness between stress and uncertainty and now I feel bad about chugging it again. There seems to be a point where I can't deal and turn back to my old ways. I don't want it though, I want a clear head and sobriety. I try so hard to not do this... I'm hoping it's just temporary?
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It happens. Many of us go through the same thing. You just have to keep trying - you are not alone.
 
Binary_Bark said:
Yeah, with the new job, higher on the food chain, the novelty is starting to wear off. Been burning the candle on both ends. Now it's tiredness/burnout. The pesky dark voice and thoughts are starting again. The dopamine is going downhill very quickly. The bottle is calling again, shouting. The intrusive thoughts of driving into a tree, truck, ditch, etc while driving are coming up again; just end it; you're worth nothing.
There are a lot of things, just piling and piling up.
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Make sure you take time for fun. Life is not worth it if you work yourself to an early grave. Find other distractions that are more fun. Drinking only makes those voices stronger.
 
@AnimateX You’ll never be happy unless you can be happy by yourself.

In the middle of nowhere, no hope, no future. If you can appreciate looking at a blade of grass or a star, nobody can take anything from you.
 
AnimateX said:
Damn, I relapsed this week. Had a good few months being alcohol-free but recently had moments of weakness between stress and uncertainty and now I feel bad about chugging it again. There seems to be a point where I can't deal and turn back to my old ways. I don't want it though, I want a clear head and sobriety. I try so hard to not do this... I'm hoping it's just temporary?
Click to expand...
You're not starting from day 0 again but day 89 or whatever. That's progress keep it up.
 
dabean said:
@AnimateX You’ll never be happy unless you can be happy by yourself.

In the middle of nowhere, no hope, no future. If you can appreciate looking at a blade of grass or a star, nobody can take anything from you.
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Maybe I get what you are saying, that I should focus my attention on the little things. I live in a concrete jungle, no grass or stars to be appreciated. I've been thinking about it for a while but It reminds me that I have to move to a place that is more conducive to my health.
 
AnimateX said:
Maybe I get what you are saying, that I should focus my attention on the little things. I live in a concrete jungle, no grass or stars to be appreciated. I've been thinking about it for a while but It reminds me that I have to move to a place that is more conducive to my health.
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You do get what I’m saying. Grass and stars are symbolic.

Smile at a stranger and get a smile in return. Again, not necessarily literal.

You understand.
 
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