Depression.

OnlyOneKenobi said:
I don’t usually post things like this, but I can’t keep quiet anymore.

In this community... right here, I’ve seen posts, lyrics, comments that clearly hint at people struggling with depression and loneliness. Even thoughts of suicide, and nobody seems to even acknowledge them.

Some of us have written music or shared art that was practically a cry for help. I know I have. I even saw someone else recently post song lyrics that screamed of suicidal thoughts, and not a single person replied. Not a “hey, you okay?”, not a “we see you.” Nothing. I suppose people figure it's "AI Slop" and continue to go about their day, but sometimes we need to just look a little bit deeper.
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Not to belabor the point, but something like that is probably best done in PM...which you've disabled.
 
OnlyOneKenobi said:
I don’t usually post things like this, but I can’t keep quiet anymore.

In this community... right here, I’ve seen posts, lyrics, comments that clearly hint at people struggling with depression and loneliness. Even thoughts of suicide, and nobody seems to even acknowledge them.

Some of us have written music or shared art that was practically a cry for help. I know I have. I even saw someone else recently post song lyrics that screamed of suicidal thoughts, and not a single person replied. Not a “hey, you okay?”, not a “we see you.” Nothing. I suppose people figure it's "AI Slop" and continue to go about their day, but sometimes we need to just look a little bit deeper.

The truth is that some people don’t make it. They die. Quietly. While the world scrolls past.

This is just asking for basic human awareness. A moment of kindness. You never know when your small reply might be someone’s last lifeline.

If you’re part of this community, then be part of it. Look out for each other. Say something. Be supportive. Show some kindness to others.
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You are so right. Some of us are at fault because we are struggling with our own demons and not sure we could be of help to anyone else. We should be there for each other. Even if just to sit with them.
 
I am cautiously optimistic about things improving. But it's a rollercoaster and today might just be one of the better days. I've tried therapy before.
It never really worked because I think I play mind games with the therapist. I see the questions and direction of the conversation coming from a mile away.
It's been years since I've last tried, but I've made an appointment with someone new for next week, because things can't go on this way. I think I'm finally open enough to the possibilities to make big and drastic changes in my life, should there be a need for it.
 
OnlyOneKenobi said:
I am cautiously optimistic about things improving. But it's a rollercoaster and today might just be one of the better days. I've tried therapy before.
It never really worked because I think I play mind games with the therapist. I see the questions and direction of the conversation coming from a mile away.
It's been years since I've last tried, but I've made an appointment with someone new for next week, because things can't go on this way. I think I'm finally open enough to the possibilities to make big and drastic changes in my life, should there be a need for it.
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Had the same thing with my previous therapist, for some reason I would push back a lot, argue and start playing games with the questions and paths that she was trying to take. It took a bout 6 months to start opening up. Now she's moved to CT and start all over again.
 
dontcryforme said:
My mother had severe depression, but mostly expressed it when she wasnt getting her way she would "OD". Never worked because she was also taking a handful of painkillers and sleeping pills three times a day 7 days a week - with her wine.

The depression bug bit a few of her children as well. I spent a lot of money on getting help, which didnt work.

Then met someone who was qualified but not practicing anymore in doing business in an entirely different field and she just one day pointed out what my issue was. For free she casually just knew.

There was a specific thing that would trigger my depression and once you know what type of events would trigger it, it is easier to manage.

Edit: I have learned a long time ago that my happiness and wellbeing was my responsibility and if I expected it from other people, I would not be here today
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Exactly this. Well done. Having suffered from depression when I was much younger, being medicated, therapy etc, a strong dose of grow the fk up and take personal responsibility for your problems sorted me out in my mid-20's. But I also needed to meet to right person who got the message through to me.

Depression is often a family illness, where co-dependant or neurotic self-pitying parents end up unknowing coaching their children into an unhealthy and dangerous mindset, and then along with other childhood issues that fuel some very self-destructive mindsets.

Sure, it's a massive disadvantage growing up with a parent/s who aren't great role models. But ultimately getting real with yourself, sticking to a healthy daily routine, and a few doses of personal responsibility is 90% of the work done.

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OnlyOneKenobi said:
I am cautiously optimistic about things improving. But it's a rollercoaster and today might just be one of the better days. I've tried therapy before.
It never really worked because I think I play mind games with the therapist. I see the questions and direction of the conversation coming from a mile away.
It's been years since I've last tried, but I've made an appointment with someone new for next week, because things can't go on this way. I think I'm finally open enough to the possibilities to make big and drastic changes in my life, should there be a need for it.
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Is there something you can guess at - financial trouble? loneliness? health issues? somebody close to you died/left? Or can you think of anything that would make you happier?

Not trying to diagnose or anything, just that if I'm feeling low and I can identify the reason it helps because I can face it head on.
 
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OnlyOneKenobi said:
I am cautiously optimistic about things improving. But it's a rollercoaster and today might just be one of the better days. I've tried therapy before.
It never really worked because I think I play mind games with the therapist. I see the questions and direction of the conversation coming from a mile away.
It's been years since I've last tried, but I've made an appointment with someone new for next week, because things can't go on this way. I think I'm finally open enough to the possibilities to make big and drastic changes in my life, should there be a need for it.
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I am really glad you are going to see someone. But if this person is not for you, find another. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person. It is like a book - if the first chapter doesn't grab you, you can stop reading it and pick up another book. It is easy to see where things are going - but the right person will take you where you need to be regardless. I do wish you a lot of luck.

There are other therapies you can try too. I have a friend who has benefited from them. She shares her journey as she goes. And if something stops being beneficial, find something new.
 
Therapies, no offence, but "I fart in your genneraaal direqction"

Tried many, from the christian indoctrination, humanity, etc, etc.
All that has done is increase my despise of religion.
Then the pills, yeah! Take it! It will fix you!
Far from it, you just end up a husk, even the autopilot had its parachute and jumped miles away.

But finally you get a psychologist. But things are not as it seems, you fight, you play games. Decades of being different, neurodivergent, you've learned to put up a mask. It's been so long, you don't know when the mask is off any more, so you fight.
Even though you should not, but that resistance will always be there. Always suppressed, made to feel like you are just a weirdo, one to be shunned, one that does not understand, but feels the most.

This continues, we continue. We might not know how to express, get sarcasm or when someone is joking. But, end of world, we will rule.
 
Binary_Bark said:
/snip
Even though you should not, but that resistance will always be there. Always suppressed, made to feel like you are just a weirdo, one to be shunned, one that does not understand, but feels the most.

This continues, we continue. We might not know how to express, get sarcasm or when someone is joking. But, end of world, we will rule.
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Heartbreaking 😭
 
They said
Pray harder.
Take the pills.
Talk to someone.

But I did.
I did all of it.

And all I found were cages
with velvet words
and padded walls
meant to quiet
what never needed silencing.
 
maumau said:
Is there something you can guess at - financial trouble? loneliness? health issues? somebody close to you died/left? Or can you think of anything that would make you happier?

Not trying to diagnose or anything, just that if I'm feeling low and I can identify the reason it helps because I can face it head on.
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I know some of the reasons, just not sure how I got here or why. The core of it is hectic social anxiety and low self confidence, but there’s more to it than that. Sounds pretty stupid and basic when you sum it up in a sentence, but the knock on effect of sitting with it for so many years…
 
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OnlyOneKenobi said:
I know some of the reasons, just not sure how I got here or why. The core of it is hectic social anxiety and low self confidence, but there’s more to it than that. Sounds pretty stupid and basic when you sum it up in a sentence, but the knock on effect of sitting with it for so many years…
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Yep low self confidence is a bad one, really difficult to overcome. Social anxiety's not great either and the temptation is to just stay home, which makes it worse.

I guess when you're at work you put on a fake smile and get on with you day? Have a family member who I'm sure is masking all the time but it's difficult for an outsider to recognise and speaking for myself I would hesitate to broach the subject. Kudos to your boss for noticing and approaching you about it, he must be a good guy.
 
I know many people will find this cringe, but I’ve found Jordan Peterson’s old lectures and especially the self-authoring course tremendously helpful for re-interpreting what’s happened to me and helping me untangle the present. It seems lame until you go through the motions and realise how unconscious memories shape your present baseline emotional state, decades later even.
 
maumau said:
Yep low self confidence is a bad one, really difficult to overcome. Social anxiety's not great either and the temptation is to just stay home, which makes it worse.

I guess you put on a fake smile when you're at work and get on with you day? Have a family member who I'm sure is masking all the time but it's difficult for an outsider to recognise and speaking for myself I would hesitate to broach the subject. Kudos to your boss for noticing and approaching you about it, he must be a good guy.
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I suppose I can hide the SA fairly well, but I still come across as “shy” or “quiet”. My boss isn’t in the picture…I think you’re referencing Binary_Bark’s post there.
But since we’re on the topic, I think MY boss might be the devil himself. Or his apprentice.
 
maumau said:
Yep low self confidence is a bad one, really difficult to overcome. Social anxiety's not great either and the temptation is to just stay home, which makes it worse.

I guess when you're at work you put on a fake smile and get on with you day? Have a family member who I'm sure is masking all the time but it's difficult for an outsider to recognise and speaking for myself I would hesitate to broach the subject. Kudos to your boss for noticing and approaching you about it, he must be a good guy.
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I mask massively at work, hide behind extreme competence. I tell myself I'm faking it till I make it but still feel massive impostor syndrome in a social context. My value is my knowledge and skills and beyond that, not much.
 
Sinbad said:
I mask massively at work, hide behind extreme competence. I tell myself I'm faking it till I make it but still feel massive impostor syndrome in a social context. My value is my knowledge and skills and beyond that, not much.
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Sjoe, masking for so many hours.

Knowledge and skills are a huge part of who you are though and many people must be filled with awe. Maybe you just don't realise how awesome you are ...... yet :)

EDIT: as the old saying goes - the more you know, the more you know you don't know. Only clever people know that!
 
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OnlyOneKenobi said:
I suppose I can hide the SA fairly well, but I still come across as “shy” or “quiet”. My boss isn’t in the picture…I think you’re referencing Binary_Bark’s post there.
But since we’re on the topic, I think MY boss might be the devil himself. Or his apprentice.
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Apologies, I was thinking of Binary's boss.

Thing is when you're quiet people just think you're shy, they don't realise you're a bit anxious but good that you're able to hide it.

LOLLING at the devil's apprentice 😁 - bastard.
 
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