Developing feelings for a co-worker...

Heita_Hola said:
I believe you are still young < 25 and the woman in question is young as well?
If not, then this whole **** "if its meant to be, it will happen" doesn't work. :D You make things "meant to be", if you know what I mean.
You can't just wait there and expect things to happen - make things happen.
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Im 25 and the woman in question is 24 - as i said there are other issues that prevent me from stepping up to the plate. If she honestly feels for me the same as i feel for her, then yes things will take their own course... we will come together. If she doesnt feel that way then alas, things just arent meant to be.
Im in no hurry, and im confident that i can get what i want, but im not going to force those feelings on anyone until im 100% sure that thats what they would want.
I also feel that she might not be ready, as she hooked me up with her friend :p and likes the fact that she was the matchmaker in my new relationship. I think that she did that to stop me from making advances to her, which i was doing, very softly though :p
So one could say shes not interested, but i dont believe that, i know her well enough to know when shes being more than just a friend. It just brings me back to thinking shes not interested right now but does have feelings for me, which is completely acceptable..
 
Surv0 said:
Im 25 and the woman in question is 24 - as i said there are other issues that prevent me from stepping up to the plate. If she honestly feels for me the same as i feel for her, then yes things will take their own course... we will come together. If she doesnt feel that way then alas, things just arent meant to be.
Im in no hurry, and im confident that i can get what i want, but im not going to force those feelings on anyone until im 100% sure that thats what they would want.
I also feel that she might not be ready, as she hooked me up with her friend :p and likes the fact that she was the matchmaker in my new relationship. I think that she did that to stop me from making advances to her, which i was doing, very softly though :p
So one could say shes not interested, but i dont believe that, i know her well enough to know when shes being more than just a friend. It just brings me back to thinking shes not interested right now but does have feelings for me, which is completely acceptable..
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I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.
 
Heita_Hola said:
I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.
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Wait... so you tell someone that you like them (or even worse, love them) before you actually have any feelings for them at all?

Hanging out in this forum is really depressing.
 
Heita_Hola said:
I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.
Click to expand...

I might be scared slightly of possibly hurting a friendship. Im not scared of stepping up to the plate, you can ask any woman ive had relations with in the past, i definitely have the balls as you put it.

And i dont make excuses not to tell her, i chose not to tell her, there is a difference. Why? because until i know for sure how she feels, i wont say nething.

I did put in some hints and flirted a bit, very discretely just to judge her reaction. Needless to say, it wasnt as i expected.
 
CathJ said:
Wait... so you tell someone that you like them (or even worse, love them) before you actually have any feelings for them at all?

Hanging out in this forum is really depressing.
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I believe you are a woman. :D
Let's just say all the ladies I liked before I date them, I never got them because I always fark up because I try too hard, and make mistakes.

Maybe I did not say it properly. Sorry madam.:D
 
Heita_Hola said:
I believe you are a woman. :D
Let's just say all the ladies I liked before I date them, I never got them because I always fark up because I try too hard, and make mistakes.

Maybe I did not say it properly. Sorry madam.:D
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Yes, I am :D

I think the way you phrased it was a bit misleading... it sounds better now.

And BTW, it's not just this thread that's depressing - there're a bunch of them that give me an insight into the way guys think that I'd rather not know... I'd rather live in my own little (apparently delusional) world :p
 
CathJ said:
Yes, I am :D

I think the way you phrased it was a bit misleading... it sounds better now.

And BTW, it's not just this thread that's depressing - there're a bunch of them that give me an insight into the way guys think that I'd rather not know... I'd rather live in my own little (apparently delusional) world :p
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Some of the guys here can post things that would make any prospective female partner run for the hills.
I think these are purely said for fun, and because everyones true identity is hidden. In person im sure most of them would be the opposite.
I think much of what is said here regarding men/women should be taken with a pinch of humour and not looked at as a general myadsl male thought process.
 
Surv0 said:
I might be scared slightly of possibly hurting a friendship. Im not scared of stepping up to the plate, you can ask any woman ive had relations with in the past, i definitely have the balls as you put it.

And i dont make excuses not to tell her, i chose not to tell her, there is a difference. Why? because until i know for sure how she feels, i wont say nething.

I did put in some hints and flirted a bit, very discretely just to judge her reaction. Needless to say, it wasnt as i expected.
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Ok, but does she twirl her hair when she talks to u?
 
Surv0 said:
Never noticed...
but we do hug excessively long, only kiss on the lips, walk arm in arm, share intimate details..
dont think twirling the hair has a big say in the situation.
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Before long, you'll be in the friends zone, permanently (If you are not already):D
.......and that my friend is not what you want, or is it?
 
Heita_Hola said:
Before long, you'll be in the friends zone, permanently (If you are not already):D
.......and that my friend is not what you want, or is it?
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Right now its not about what i want... fact of the matter is that its not possible.
Firstly because shes oversees, and secondly because im not gonna dump my current GF to possibly jump into something that im not sure what the outcome will be. I try only to do things im sure of.
She will always be in my life, whether either of us gets married or not, it wont change anything, as anything can still happen.
All i know is that i have had feelings for her for a long time, but i know neither of us are ready to face those feelings. when she gets back from the UK in a few years, hopefully things will be different and we both might be more interested in making something happen. Until then i remain on the side line.
 
Surv0 said:
Some of the guys here can post things that would make any prospective female partner run for the hills.
I think these are purely said for fun, and because everyones true identity is hidden. In person im sure most of them would be the opposite.
I think much of what is said here regarding men/women should be taken with a pinch of humour and not looked at as a general myadsl male thought process.
Click to expand...

Good to know :D
 
Update:
I asked her out(Well kind of) . . .some of the guys from my department organised a paintball outing thingy and so i went to her and invited her along(She doesnt know the other people) and she said yes:)
i know its not a date but at least will be spending some time with her out of the office.Thanks for the advice peeps.
 
cashmoney said:
Update:
I asked her out(Well kind of) . . .some of the guys from my department organised a paintball outing thingy and so i went to her and invited her along(She doesnt know the other people) and she said yes:)
i know its not a date but at least will be spending some time with her out of the office.Thanks for the advice peeps.
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nice one - follow through with a private drink and some food after the paintball... Something more personal
 
To the guys who have feelings for their friends ... I can symphetise with that.Had feelings for 1 of my girl friends for 3 years.Never made a move out of fear of ruining the friendship...in year 2 she met a guy and they are still dating.I hardly see her now as shes always with her boyfriend,which is understandable but the point im trying to make is that the friendship is gone and i never made a move.Id say if you feel strongly about it then do it!
Dont want to end up regretting it like me.
 
I think if u believe u can hold it together without having it interfere with your productivity at work, get to a consensus with her that you will both do it the professional fashon when you are at work then you can give it a try...Goodluck.
 
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