Divorce question

Just to clarify. She is the plaintiff and I'm the defendant. I didn't contest the divorce and we agreed and she signed on those forms (e.g. forfeiture of benefits from marriage in COP, child suppose amount, etc). So the registrar said the forms will be forwarded to the Family Advocate, then set court date. If everything is ok, I will not be required to be present on that court date.
 
I think there's one question we forgot to ask:
Why do you think she might change her mind (stab you in the back)
 
You can get an attorney to draw up the divorce agreement (including all the settlement details and child support details) and have the representation done in court for around R7K, assuming things are agreed and uncontested.

Alimony is quite rare nowadays, and I understand that even where it's awarded, it usually only for a limited time period unless the wife (usually) has not been in employment for a very long time (decades).
 
ice_cubes said:
I think there's one question we forgot to ask:
Why do you think she might change her mind (stab you in the back)
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Let's just say there are other family members involved that are giving here ideas.
 
Fuma said:
So me and wife are divorcing. We went to the magistrate's court together and submitted the forms. We were married in COP but she didn't want to claim anything that I bought (House, car, furniture, etc) and she didn't want spousal support. We signed everything and submitted the stuff to the sheriff together and I got everything done there.

We have a son (18 months old) together. We agreed that she should have custody of him and I will be supporting him financially (Med aid, food, clothes, etc). Everything went peacefully. We are still waiting for everything to be confirmed and and.

Can she then change her mind and claim for spousal support though she has a job that is not paying so badly? I find spousal support unfair, more especially if you can prove that she should be able to support herself.

I'm hoping it does not get nasty from now on.
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Hi there sorry about your situation it sucks I am getting my papers served on my wife this afternoon. Get a lawyer and get a settlement agreement signed it costs about R1700.00 including a consultation. Rather do it properly my mate got divorced like you about two years ago he got a lawyer letter this past week his wife has changed her mind and is now suing him for other things.

If you have any other questions ask even if you would prefer to do it by PM.
Good luck
 
@Fuma
The 2 of you have done the right thing by staying away from lawyers as far as possible. I did my divorce DIY after getting fskd around by lawyers for 3 months even though the ex and I had agreed on terms amicably

Once you have both signed the agreement, and had your day in court (yes, at least one of you will have to appear), the agreement is binding. Unless one of the parties has reneged on their commitments, good luck trying to get the courts to impose conditions outside of the final divorce

In your situation, lawyers are just going to shaft you for a couple of grand and cause kuk that doesn't exist at all for the 2 of you right now
 
McSack said:
@Fuma
The 2 of you have done the right thing by staying away from lawyers as far as possible. I did my divorce DIY after getting fskd around by lawyers for 3 months even though the ex and I had agreed on terms amicably

Once you have both signed the agreement, and had your day in court (yes, at least one of you will have to appear), the agreement is binding. Unless one of the parties has reneged on their commitments, good luck trying to get the courts to impose conditions outside of the final divorce

In your situation, lawyers are just going to shaft you for a couple of grand and cause kuk that doesn't exist at all for the 2 of you right now
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Tx.

What does the Family Advocate do? I was told that the forms will be sent to them and I didn't ask what they do. I will do some research now now.

EDIT: I got the answer here
 
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In dealing with lawyers, I think it is also important for the client to be assertive. YOU are instructing the attorney and he is working for YOU, therefore: put your foot down every now and again.
 
fuma - listen to mcsack. both you and your wife have settled this amicably and you want to keep the friendship with your wife. there is absolutely no need for lawyers or advocates to get involved if you have signed the papers and have an agreement between the 2 of you. remember there is a child involved here as well and you need to keep a friendship here for the child's sake.

a divorce can easily be handled without lawyers as long as when the final date is set, either you or your wife appear in the stipulated court.

my advise to the rest of the forum members dishing out all this stuff about getting lawyers etc, stop with all this negativity when there isn't any to begin with. you are putting ideas in his head for nothing. shame on you.
 
Celine said:
fuma - listen to mcsack. both you and your wife have settled this amicably and you want to keep the friendship with your wife. there is absolutely no need for lawyers or advocates to get involved if you have signed the papers and have an agreement between the 2 of you. remember there is a child involved here as well and you need to keep a friendship here for the child's sake.

a divorce can easily be handled without lawyers as long as when the final date is set, either you or your wife appear in the stipulated court.

my advise to the rest of the forum members dishing out all this stuff about getting lawyers etc, stop with all this negativity when there isn't any to begin with. you are putting ideas in his head for nothing. shame on you.
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Lawyers are not per se adversarial in nature. Sometimes a lawyer is simply used in order to ensure all legal requirements are met, i.e. the law is abided by. Do not assume it means a big fight.
 
Celine said:
fuma - listen to mcsack. both you and your wife have settled this amicably and you want to keep the friendship with your wife. there is absolutely no need for lawyers or advocates to get involved if you have signed the papers and have an agreement between the 2 of you. remember there is a child involved here as well and you need to keep a friendship here for the child's sake.
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That was the initial agreement I had with her. I'm happy with that. It's her and family influence that I'm worried about.
 
Fuma said:
That was the initial agreement I had with her. I'm happy with that. It's her and family influence that I'm worried about.
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if your wife is happy with the divorce agreement, then i highly doubt anyone will influence her decision she has made with you.
 
Celine said:
if your wife is happy with the divorce agreement, then i highly doubt anyone will influence her decision she has made with you.
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I saw with my brother's ex wife that I'll rather spend a few grand now and be on the safe side. Woman (and men?) turn into bad people when divorce (family influence).
 
Geriatrix said:
Get a lawyer anyway. She should to. Just to manage everything and keep it fair. You'll both thank me later.
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You don't need a lawyer if both of you stick to the agreement.

I went through a divorce last year where we didn't involve any lawyers. We decided who is getting what and had it in writing that both of us signed. When you go to court the judge will make it clear that what is yours stays yours and what is hers stays hers. Me and my ex both decided that my son should stay by me and she pays his medical aid and half of his school fees. She sees him alternate weekends and alternate school holidays.

Total cost : R87.00
 
I'm also joining the divorce club. Thanks for the advice Crowley
 
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