Does a Best Girlfriend/Boyfriend actually exist?

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Positively Negative

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Ok,
in short - i met this girl about 5 years ago randomly and fell in love with her within 3 months.now along the way then she never gave me serious hints of just being friends or the possibility of more happening. Now eventually the truth came out as it always does and i told her about all my feelings and obviously got nothing in return.Oh wait i did get the 'your my BEST guy friend'.
Now so many years later and many deep emo conversations later im still sitting in the same position,i have had a few lame flings while she has possibly hooked up with 15-20 guys in that time (maybe more). i can handle being around her ALOT better than i used to but somewhere inside it still eats away the fact i will never be with her.

Now honestly do you think it is possible to ever have a best friend of the opposite sex? If so explain. What it basically comes down to in my opinion is that once you get to a certain point with that person on a spirtual/emo level you tend to fall for them.It may be one party or both but at some stage feelings develop and things get messy. Ive seen it countless of times with her where she starts 'hanging' with a new guy for a month or two tops and when the guy realises he aint getting any he just drops her and thats that.
Now ive been to parties with her,spent xmas day together and too much other crap too even contemplate BUT in the end of all of this i will still never get to be with her.Everywhere we go together people are presuming we are a couple and then she spills those lovely words 'He's my best friend'.

Am i retarted for sticking around this long?
Am i being a decent guy for actually caring about her issues ?

I dont know .... sometimes you just gotta reflect on things and how confusing they are.So tell me if you think it is possible and please do share your stories about your best guy/girlfriend.

P.S - This aint an emo thread.just thought i would get some manly advice :D
 
got the same problem..... but she also changed to a les in the meantime... sucksss :D lol well i dont know about best friends but i'm sure you can be really good friends with the opposite sex
 
Dude the harsh reality of this all is that your behavior is causing her to only see you in the light of a friend. Attraction is not so complex once you understand how it works. In short you aren't creating any attraction between yourself and her. If you want to get with her send me a pm and I'll give you some pointers.

You will have to make drastic changes to your behavior towards her and your lifestyle/how you view yourself. She has seen you as a friend for very long and that makes this even a more challenging situation. You have the advantage though that you already close to her and comfortable with her. Her being comfortable with you is what is causing the lack of attraction.

Positively Negative said:
Ok,
in short - i met this girl about 5 years ago randomly and fell in love with her within 3 months.now along the way then she never gave me serious hints of just being friends or the possibility of more happening. Now eventually the truth came out as it always does and i told her about all my feelings and obviously got nothing in return.Oh wait i did get the 'your my BEST guy friend'.
Now so many years later and many deep emo conversations later im still sitting in the same position,i have had a few lame flings while she has possibly hooked up with 15-20 guys in that time (maybe more). i can handle being around her ALOT better than i used to but somewhere inside it still eats away the fact i will never be with her.

Now honestly do you think it is possible to ever have a best friend of the opposite sex? If so explain. What it basically comes down to in my opinion is that once you get to a certain point with that person on a spirtual/emo level you tend to fall for them.It may be one party or both but at some stage feelings develop and things get messy. Ive seen it countless of times with her where she starts 'hanging' with a new guy for a month or two tops and when the guy realises he aint getting any he just drops her and thats that.
Now ive been to parties with her,spent xmas day together and too much other crap too even contemplate BUT in the end of all of this i will still never get to be with her.Everywhere we go together people are presuming we are a couple and then she spills those lovely words 'He's my best friend'.

Am i retarted for sticking around this long?
Am i being a decent guy for actually caring about her issues ?

I dont know .... sometimes you just gotta reflect on things and how confusing they are.So tell me if you think it is possible and please do share your stories about your best guy/girlfriend.

P.S - This aint an emo thread.just thought i would get some manly advice :D
Click to expand...
 
In my OPINION (in as much as it counts):

There is no such thing as best friends with the opposite sex.

You are merely her "backup plan".
Stop caring about her so-called issues and other boyfriends. Her actions as you're describing them, rather point to her being a bit of a slut. Frankly I would personally have NOTHING to do with anyone who values themselves so lowly.

But if it means that much to you, man up and make the move. Get it done, or get on with something better.
 
You can only be a chicks best friend if you have no feelings for her. Being her best mate while wanting to bend her 20 different ways will not work unless she is a willing party :D
 
Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex. No it does not ever have to change to anything else.
 
Close friends, but not best friends. And this will also change when either one hooks up with someone.
 
We'll I kinda had a best girlfriend....

I had 2 girls as flatmates and me and the one girl was really close. But when she had a boyfriend I was single, when I had a girlfriend she was single. But we never took it to next step. It was also one of those "moenie op jou eie voorstoep k@k nie" So we knew if we hook up and it goes pear shaped it will be sucky for both of us. I was the one that held her hair out of her face after a long night out, put her PJ's on and put her to bed and in return I used to get coffee in the morning before work and also some dinner. :)

We always said that we will remain good buddies and we even visited each other when we got our own places and still went drinking and doing stuff.

But then I got engaged/married everything went balls up for a lot of reasons. Unfortunately we don't speak to each other any more because she and the SO does not get along very well. Kinda sad....

So in my opinion a best girlfriend does exist but not for long.... :p
 
Get her drunk and touch her....urmm areas, then show her your washington monument.
Later that night, sob quitely while making minor cuts on your wrists with blades or glass.:whistle:
 
I have a wonderful GF, she puts up with so much, shes fun, shes loving, shes generally up for anything I ask her to do, even if she doesn't really want to do it (we talking non sexual stuff here you idiots!)

So, outta every relationship I've ever had, my current GF is def the best GF, def plan to marry her.
 
gdiza said:
I have a wonderful GF, she puts up with so much, shes fun, shes loving, shes generally up for anything I ask her to do, even if she doesn't really want to do it (we talking non sexual stuff here you idiots!)

So, outta every relationship I've ever had, my current GF is def the best GF, def plan to marry her.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure the OP feels much better now:D:D
 
If you have feelings for her, it will never work out!!! I'm sure most if not all guys have had that experience!! Best friends are just that, friends, if you see them as anything more, you can't be friends!
 
as much as men want girls that look nice and act like girls/woman,

women also want the same thing from a guy. they don't want a wuss. they want a man who is manly not mr nice guy who acts like a woman... a lot of men do that mistake of being the nice guy, what ever the girl says goes. take charge... that's friendship BS doesn't work. stop being mr nice guy, grow some balls.... and tell her to F...off
 
The question is... are you getting anything from the friendship ?

Does she feel like a friend or is she just some one who you hang around with untill you get a chance to hook up ?

Dude, I have been in the exact same position, except I never told her I liked her. We were "together" for 6 years. We would go out all the time, chicks would think that I was with her but guys would always go for her, it hurt to see her hook up with other guys but I still never had the balls to be that guy.
She was a good friend but in the end I realised that I was being more destuctive than anthing else. I was unable to have a proper relationship AND still be her buddy. I stopped going out with her and within weeks I started hooking up with girls. Whats even more bizzare is that I hung out with her sister for a bit and still managed to hook up with girls.

Looking back she must have realised that I liked her but always seemed to back off when we got too close, it was very weird. We used to kiss each other hello every day like a married couple but never got intimate, eventually I began to resent her and we stopped being good friends. I'm married now and she is getting married in a few months.

Its definately not healthy to remain in a stuation like this where one friend really likes the other friend and the other does not feel enough to commit to that friend. Think about it, she knows you like her and still hooks up with random dudes she doesn't even care about...

Ask your self this question, does she get possesive about women you hook up with or become friends with. I once found my self in this weird situation where I was with another female friend and we bumped in to "her", they acted so weird and almost looked like they were going to scratch each others eyes out.... I was like WTF, neither of you are putting out so don't even try that **** ! Well I didn't say that but I really should have.

Women....
 
hahaha $hit you guys make me laugh.....

and yes the way she generally acts is slutty.i just checked our pics out from friday night and she is doing some down right wrong things.i dont get it with some women? they want to be treated properly and not disrespected but hell monday morning comes and she is tagged in an album looking like a easy meal :wtf:.

but to be honest...id rather have her and the potential of meeting other ppl through her (very popular) than just dropping her .
 
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