Engagement ring advice?

Sensorei said:
You should get all the tips you need from your fiance-to-be. Its easy to get information without asking directly what they want. Just slow down when you walk past a jewellery shop window a few times then you will know what she expects.

If she expects a R40k ring then a R10k ring will simply not cut it, but maybe she is the more responsible type who would rather have a cheaper ring and spend the money on furnishing the house or a better honeymoon. The thing is, this is the one time she should get what she wants. If she expects a R40k ring but you could never afford that, then that will set the pace for your entire marriage. Say no to money grabbing bitches! (Unless they are supermodel hot and shag better than Jenna Jameson of course)
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The only thing she should be getting is my bloody sandwich!
 
Even if you spend below R10K, get it custom made. This is going to be one of the things she will throw in your face years down the line, so at least put some effort into it & don't embarrass her in front of her friends/family by buying a run-of-the-mill ring from a chain store. Custom means you care enough to want her to have something unique.
 
Dude do not go and buy her some ring from one of the chain stores, rather go to someone and have it made up. You can even buy a cheapie for the proposal then take her to design it or you can design something you think she would like.

It will be unique. If you are in jhb pm for if you want the number for the guy who my ring. Does not cost an arm and leg either.
 
Don't blow the ranch on a ring if you can't afford it and don't feel bad if you only end up getting a nice ring for R7-8k. (Which will get you a respectable ring.)

As time goes on and you can afford it you can always upgrade the stone in the ring, etc.
 
Sounds like you are none to keen mate.

If you buy an engagement ring for the love of your life and hopefully your wife until one of you dies then it is a gift so you needn't worry about what may or may not happen to it. Also: most people would want to get something unique and special that is the best that they can afford... you on the other hand just want the damn thing bought and insured so you can get on with life.

Have you considered asking her or trying to find out by some other means what she would like?

Trust me: marriage (and kids god forbid) are not things that you want to get into out of some sort of consumerist reaction to getting older or whatever it is in your case.

You seem kinda pissed that you have to go through all of this, if that is the case then really: why bother?
 
SlinkyMike said:
Sounds like you are none to keen mate.

If you buy an engagement ring for the love of your life and hopefully your wife until one of you dies then it is a gift so you needn't worry about what may or may not happen to it. Also: most people would want to get something unique and special that is the best that they can afford... you on the other hand just want the damn thing bought and insured so you can get on with life.

Trust me: marriage (and kids god forbid) are not things that you want to get into out of some sort of consumerist reaction to getting older or whatever it is in your case.

You seem kinda pissed that you have to go through all of this, if that is the case then really: why bother?
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Oh, come on. You're judging the guy because he doesn't believe that an engagement ring should be the epitome of crass commericalism?

I wouldn't marry a woman who was not happy with her wedding ring because it wasn't expensive enough. The symbol of love should never be more important than the love itself.

As I mentioned, you can always add on, or redesign a ring as the finances become available.
 
BrendanD said:
Oh, come on. You're judging the guy because he doesn't believe that an engagement ring should be the epitome of crass commericalism?

I wouldn't marry a woman who was not happy with her wedding ring because it wasn't expensive enough. The symbol of love should never be more important than the love itself.

As I mentioned, you can always add on, or redesign a ring as the finances become available.
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No definitely not. Quite the opposite.

It's his attitude that I am having a go at. He seems to be grudgingly going along with whatever he is or feels he is being pressured into and that does not bode well for the marriage or for his future state of head.

...read the op again: he is kind of bummed at the thought of 'buying the cow' (funny as a film title, a little hideous IRL) - notice the crying emoticon and general tone.
It seems that he feels he 'should' do this for whatever reason and that is one of the common consumerist buy-lines.

My wife (then gf) actually gave me explicit instructions not to purchase diamonds as she is ethically opposed to the process whereby they arrive on young wives fingers and also because she'd had an experience where she was in a conversation where women were talking about the size of their 'rock' and relating it directly to the quality of their choice in men and relationship.
She found this repugnant (and rightly so) and told me that under no circumstances did she ever want to wear a diamond wedding ring. We are fairly well off and she could have had pretty much whatever she wanted but she chose to go against the grain... have you any idea how sexayyy that is???? :)

NO I am not calling him cheap, I am saying he should be dong this for the right reasons.
 
SlinkyMike said:
Sounds like you are none to keen mate.

If you buy an engagement ring for the love of your life and hopefully your wife until one of you dies then it is a gift so you needn't worry about what may or may not happen to it. Also: most people would want to get something unique and special that is the best that they can afford... you on the other hand just want the damn thing bought and insured so you can get on with life.

Have you considered asking her or trying to find out by some other means what she would like?

Trust me: marriage (and kids god forbid) are not things that you want to get into out of some sort of consumerist reaction to getting older or whatever it is in your case.

You seem kinda pissed that you have to go through all of this, if that is the case then really: why bother?
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Slinky the OP was written kinda tongue in cheek. I do love her and I do want to spend the rest of my life with her. But to me a ring is just that - a formality -a material thing and not a token of my everlasting love. At the end of the day that it is just a thing and that is not what is most important to me or her.
 
I thought the "buying the cow" was a humourous take on "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

His attitude was more pragmatic than disinterested.

But anyhow. That ring in the link is not to my taste but if his missus likes it, it's all good.
 
SlinkyMike said:
No definitely not. Quite the opposite.

It's his attitude that I am having a go at. He seems to be grudgingly going along with whatever he is or feels he is being pressured into and that does not bode well for the marriage or for his future state of head.

...read the op again: he is kind of bummed at the thought of 'buying the cow' (funny as a film title, a little hideous IRL) - notice the crying emoticon and general tone.
It seems that he feels he 'should' do this for whatever reason and that is one of the common consumerist buy-lines.

My wife (then gf) actually gave me explicit instructions not to purchase diamonds as she is ethically opposed to the process whereby they arrive on young wives fingers and also because she'd had an experience where she was in a conversation where women were talking about the size of their 'rock' and relating it directly to the quality of their choice in men and relationship.
She found this repugnant (and rightly so) and told me that under no circumstances did she ever want to wear a diamond wedding ring. We are fairly well off and she could have had pretty much whatever she wanted but she chose to go against the grain... have you any idea how sexayyy that is???? :)

NO I am not calling him cheap, I am saying he should be dong this for the right reasons.
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:D

yes

LOL if the reason & the attitude is right, the price of the ring really does not matter
 
Dude to a female that ring is more than some piece of jewelery and you must remember that, they may not want a 40k ring but they want you to at least put your heart into finding a great one regardless of price.

To them it is not a formality that is what you need to remember.
 
okay, okay point taken. And yes I was playing of -why buy the cow when...
 
dude - find yourself a diamond dealer, buy the stone you want and can afford (i recommend Diamond City in town , ask around , check online, just buy stone first).
then find a jeweller - preferrably private, not in a store, and go and design it with him (takes 10mins), tell him EXACTLY how much you can spend, and he will tell you what he can do.

The ring i bought is worth R42k insured, and i paid R25k.

Don't buy something from browns / sterns otherwise 500 other women have the same ring. Put some thought into it, make it more special by designing it, and then give it to her. And yes you can do this with R5k, although its going to be a tiny stone, but that doesnt seem to be the issue.

Put more thought into it rather than cash, it will work in your favour in the long run.
 
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