Even the uglies need to get their freak on. The problem is not the getting laid part, I dont wanna sleep with every guy I meet.
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First Date Tips
- Thread starter _Hecate_
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Even the uglies need to get their freak on. The problem is not the getting laid part, I dont wanna sleep with every guy I meet.
Fair enough. With some experience of on-line dating I found the more chatting initially (anything up to a month!) enabled me to decide whether a "meeting" was in fact an option. The chatting was crucial in terms of establishing probable compatibility. The actual meeting was really, I suppose, to establish "physical" compatibility (shallow I know). As someone with a rather small circle of friends, I can only but recommend the on-line dating route. Caution is the watchword though.
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
damn you people read to deep into things
its a 1st date ...if you like the person and he likes you ..he will ask you for a 2nd date (if you a lady) and if you accept ..theres a 2nd date
same with a guy
if you dont like the person ...say hey i dont think we clicked so yeah bye bye
you 2 are just going there to meet unless you talked about other things ....
its a 1st date ...if you like the person and he likes you ..he will ask you for a 2nd date (if you a lady) and if you accept ..theres a 2nd date
same with a guy
if you dont like the person ...say hey i dont think we clicked so yeah bye bye
you 2 are just going there to meet unless you talked about other things ....
StonerStuart
Expert Member
First date -Equivalent fear to- Confronting Baboons!
IMO...
IMO...
Nick333
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I suppose it's a question of personality really. I tend to feel more comfortable getting to know people face to face. The internet lends itself to pretense, even if only unconscious pretense. There's a build up of expectations through online communications that often leads to disappointment for me.
Everybody is totally allowed to have their own view. That's why forums are awesome!
It was great for me though. As a lady, to have a real gentleman who first got to know me as a friend before deciding we were serious about each other and our feelings was amazing. He also asked my father for permission to date me with the intent to pursue marriage. It was very old-school and chivalrous and felt like the right way to do things. We then started officially dating and got to know each other better. I know it wouldn't fly for most people, but I still believe that getting to know a person a bit in a more casual, non-dating social environment before jumping into dating is always going to be beneficial.
Dating used to be called "Courting" and it used to be serious business. Courting someone was official and serious and came with expectations of behaviour and intent. Today dating is all about fun and flirting and meeting people and doesn't have that serious nature anymore. I wish more people would take it seriously.
Maybe I should have been born 50 years ago?
Nick333
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I tend to agree... others may not.
Nick333
Honorary Master
- Joined
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Everybody is totally allowed to have their own view. That's why forums are awesome!
It was great for me though. As a lady, to have a real gentleman who first got to know me as a friend before deciding we were serious about each other and our feelings was amazing. He also asked my father for permission to date me with the intent to pursue marriage. It was very old-school and chivalrous and felt like the right way to do things. We then started officially dating and got to know each other better. I know it wouldn't fly for most people, but I still believe that getting to know a person a bit in a more casual, non-dating social environment before jumping into dating is always going to be beneficial.
Dating used to be called "Courting" and it used to be serious business. Courting someone was official and serious and came with expectations of behaviour and intent. Today dating is all about fun and flirting and meeting people and doesn't have that serious nature anymore. I wish more people would take it seriously.
Maybe I should have been born 50 years ago?
I think the existense of this thread attests that some do take it seriously.
Each to their own.
I prefer the modern attitude.
cerebus
Honorary Master
1) Anecdotal testimony
2) Hecate's experience
3) Rank ignorance of the ongoings of dating sites
Everybody is totally allowed to have their own view. That's why forums are awesome!
It was great for me though. As a lady, to have a real gentleman who first got to know me as a friend before deciding we were serious about each other and our feelings was amazing. He also asked my father for permission to date me with the intent to pursue marriage. It was very old-school and chivalrous and felt like the right way to do things. We then started officially dating and got to know each other better. I know it wouldn't fly for most people, but I still believe that getting to know a person a bit in a more casual, non-dating social environment before jumping into dating is always going to be beneficial.
Dating used to be called "Courting" and it used to be serious business. Courting someone was official and serious and came with expectations of behaviour and intent. Today dating is all about fun and flirting and meeting people and doesn't have that serious nature anymore. I wish more people would take it seriously.
Maybe I should have been born 50 years ago?
Its great you found someone that met your expectations. For me thats a bit too serious and as someone else mentioned my circle of friends is quite small too. Dont get to meet new people often.
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
thats the problem and expecially the case with online dating
iv never done it so wont know ...but iv never had issues with a 1st date ever
iv always chatted before, spoke on the phone and if i liked the person, i offered coffee or ice cream 1st and met for like an hour or most 2
then lunch of supper on 2nd date if i liked the person in reality
How did you react when someone said..they are just not that into you?
I did that once and the guy was seriously hurt, told me I should have lied. I might have been a tad bit too honest...but he shouldnt have asked why not
Now I just bend the truth slightly
Fair enough (again) although pretense is also a distinct possibility when face-to-face! I must admit to having had a number of "meetings" with various people. All were pleasant given that we had got to "know" each other to some extent prior to meeting. Some extended to subsequent dates. Others ended there (I remember one person could not get away fast enough - far too much build up of expectations on their part!) Also, all parties knew the score so to speak and their were no ill feelings and the like when things didn't work out.
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
How did you react when someone said..they are just not that into you?
I did that once and the guy was seriously hurt, told me I should have lied. I might have been a tad bit too honest...but he shouldnt have asked why not
Now I just bend the truth slightly
the last time that happened i think was grade 9 and that time i didnt give a furk
i always believed it was they loss and always more women out there
so i cant tell you exactly ...but i feel and always say ..you know you and you know how you look and what you like so base your judgements and likes on that
and some people do get hurt ...but thats cause they fall inlove with just talking
Yep, been married more than 4 years
Don't get me wrong - it was still fun, but we both agreed that "dating" was a step you took when you had serious interest in the other person.I also had a very small circle of friends and was very shy. Didn't meet new people often either. Fortunately, studying at University forces you into social situations with strangers on a regular basis. I didn't like it, but it led me to my hubby.
If you're already working, it's very easy to just stick to your safe and secure group of friends. One has to make an effort to get out into social scenarios where you might meet other people. For some, going to church. For others, going out to a club or a bar. Even though I'm already married, I push the boundaries on occasion and we go out to things with groups of strangers we meet via the web who have similar specific interests.
Everybody is totally allowed to have their own view. That's why forums are awesome!
It was great for me though. As a lady, to have a real gentleman who first got to know me as a friend before deciding we were serious about each other and our feelings was amazing. He also asked my father for permission to date me with the intent to pursue marriage. It was very old-school and chivalrous and felt like the right way to do things. We then started officially dating and got to know each other better. I know it wouldn't fly for most people, but I still believe that getting to know a person a bit in a more casual, non-dating social environment before jumping into dating is always going to be beneficial.
Dating used to be called "Courting" and it used to be serious business. Courting someone was official and serious and came with expectations of behaviour and intent. Today dating is all about fun and flirting and meeting people and doesn't have that serious nature anymore. I wish more people would take it seriously.
Maybe I should have been born 50 years ago?
No offence, but are you sure you weren't born 50 or even 150 years ago? Because the stuff you say sounds like something from a Victorian novel. Courting? Asking for parents permission to marry before you even know them that well? Seriously?
If it makes you happy, that's good, but most women (including every one I've ever meet) would never move from friends to "dating" i.e. a relationship. Most will even admit it. Once you're in the friend zone you stay there.
But maybe that's just us kids with our fancy newfangled 8-track tapes, colour TV's and pants that don't even cover our stomachs.
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
No offence, but are you sure you weren't born 50 or even 150 years ago? Because the stuff you say sounds like something from a Victorian novel. Courting? Asking for parents permission to marry before you even know them that well? Seriously?
If it makes you happy, that's good, but most women (including every one I've ever meet) would never move from friends to "dating" i.e. a relationship. Most will even admit it. Once you're in the friend zone you stay there.
But maybe that's just us kids with our fancy newfangled 8-track tapes, colour TV's and pants that don't even cover our stomachs.
i think Aniv is indian lol
i know indians like doing stuff the old school way
cerebus
Honorary Master
No offence, but are you sure you weren't born 50 or even 150 years ago? Because the stuff you say sounds like something from a Victorian novel. Courting? Asking for parents permission to marry before you even know them that well? Seriously?
If it makes you happy, that's good, but most women (including every one I've ever meet) would never move from friends to "dating" i.e. a relationship. Most will even admit it. Once you're in the friend zone you stay there.
But maybe that's just us kids with our fancy newfangled 8-track tapes, colour TV's and pants that don't even cover our stomachs.
It's how my wife and I did it. I don't think I asked her parents' permission but in most senses of the word we courted. And we're now married 5+ years and I couldn't really be happier. It's not about moving from one 'zone' of relationship to another which I guess is how you relate to what she says, it's about taking the relationships between the sexes seriously, not just loosely. And taking the stages of the development of the relationship seriously.
As a rough analogy, if you were the CEO of a company, how would you treat a potential merger? Would you try out companies here and there, never really commit to one, or jump into a partnership with the first company that showed interest? Or would you approach options in a serious manner, weighing them, performing due diligence and so forth? So if what you wanted from a relationship was a lifelong marriage, why would you want to waste time with stupid flirtations and dead-ends?
Anyway it's a bit of a detour so apologies.
Of course it's serious, it's one of the most serious choices you can make, but spending your life with someone isn't like a business decision, at least not for men. Companies' worth can be reasonably objectively measured, a person can't. So you can't just check out some financial statements, you have to be with various people before you actually know what you want, what you can live with and what you can't. I know lots of people out there just want to be married and pop out babies, but for me it's a bit too clinical, even creepy, to decide beforehand you want to marry someone. You might learn after a year or 2 of dating that you don't really like her at all.. Or a month. Call me a romantic but I like things the more natural, modern way.
