How do I tell people that...

teraside said:
Seriously? Are you sitting on my rear waiting for the slightest whiff of stink to come out?
Click to expand...

That's pretty gay, dude...:p

teraside said:
The statements I made regarding Land Cruisers (10 years ago maybe?)
Click to expand...

2009, actually...

teraside said:
and black people (20 years ago maybe?) was due to certain things that happened in my life and I was angry that it happened.
Click to expand...

2009, actually. And you stated that all black people are criminals; that you expect more from white people than blacks; that blacks are far less developed than us whites; that inter-racial couples are wrong; that mixed-race people are only good for jokes; I can carry on if you like? But then you vehemently deny being a racist.

So you can understand why your bullschit "facts" are taken with a pinch of salt and I am suggesting to the OP that he rather take advice from more level-headed, sane individuals, who don't spout their religious fundamentalism as facts...
 
Hey Davey. I am from Cape Town so I unfortunately don't know who you would contact up in jo'burg. But I would suggest contacting a group like the triangle project. They have a help-line you can call and they might best be able to tell you how to go about coming out. They can also provide support if you need any in that regard. 021– 7126699 ( between 1pm to 9pm daily). Perhaps they can tell you of a similar organisation close to where you are. Hope this helps.

But as someone who came out at school at 17, I'll just say that I was surprised at how ok everyone was about it. When I finally came out to my family, it was a non-issue. I can only hope that you are as lucky as I was.

All the best man and good luck.
 
Last edited:
Teraside, you'd do best to view DJ's posts for what they are : over zealous militant materialism.

In no remotely conceivable way have I ever seen you post anything hateful towards homosexuals, in fact I admire the tact with which you approach the conversation.

+1
 
ebudae said:
Hey Davey. I am from Cape Town so I unfortunately don't know who you would contact up in jo'burg. But I would suggest contacting a group like the triangle project. They have a help-line you can call and they might best be able to tell you how to go about coming out. They can also provide support if you need any in that regard. 021– 7126699 ( between 1pm to 9pm daily). Perhaps they can tell you of a similar organisation close to where you are. Hope this helps.
Click to expand...

thanks ebudae :) i wrote the number down, and will try and find a space to call them soon, even if i can just talk to someone it will help me :)
 
Ok question, why do you have to tell them? Why can't they just figure it out? I didn't tell my folks and friends that I'm straight. You gay guys need to stop discriminating against yourselves!
 
abzo said:
Ok question, why do you have to tell them? Why can't they just figure it out? I didn't tell my folks and friends that I'm straight. You gay guys need to stop discriminating against yourselves!
Click to expand...

I WISH Abzo!! :D imagine coming home with a guy holding on to him! "Mom, dad Im home" there faces :erm:
 
teraside said:
You seem so perplexed with me DJ.. Like I'm your little toy to throw around and bash whenever it pleases you.
Click to expand...

Of course not. You're just a fundamentalist, racist, homophobe and I don't believe that you're in the best position to be giving the OP advice about coming out of the closet...

teraside said:
I don't believe a person is born gay, yes I don't, but I'm not forcing my beliefs on anyone.
Click to expand...

Of course not, because your motives for questioning his conviction were truly altruistic, right? :rolleyes:

teraside said:
I explained to the OP that men are intimate through sex and women through communication. Go google it if you don't believe me.
Click to expand...

Another one of your trademarked generalisations that really just highlight your own naivety of the world...

teraside said:
Your lies grow evermore. This is the first gay-related thread in a couple of years that I've participated in, so leave your frustration and anger at the door and your unrealistic bond you have with me as well.
Click to expand...

Bullschit. You had a knack for destroying many PD threads. Some of which were most certainly related to homosexual behaviour. One of which it was pointed out to you homosexual behaviour in nature, which you flat-out ignored and went on a rampage...
 
abzo said:
Ok question, why do you have to tell them? Why can't they just figure it out? I didn't tell my folks and friends that I'm straight. You gay guys need to stop discriminating against yourselves!
Click to expand...

:D

i see DJ is starting to go off topic now ...focus on the poor OP ...the worst that could happen is that they disown you

im sure if that happens OP one of the resident gays here will take you in
 
abandonallhope said:
In no remotely conceivable way have I ever seen you post anything hateful towards homosexuals, in fact I admire the tact with which you approach the conversation.
Click to expand...

The rest of us have witnessed it, hence the warnings to the OP not to engage with tera on this subject. Tact? :eek: PD begs to differ...
 
DJ... said:
That's pretty gay, dude...:p



2009, actually...



2009, actually. And you stated that all black people are criminals; that you expect more from white people than blacks; that blacks are far less developed than us whites; that inter-racial couples are wrong; that mixed-race people are only good for jokes; I can carry on if you like? But then you vehemently deny being a racist.

So you can understand why your bullschit "facts" are taken with a pinch of salt and I am suggesting to the OP that he rather take advice from more level-headed, sane individuals, who don't spout their religious fundamentalism as facts...
Click to expand...

Wow. So you actually have a 3 year tab on my comments? That is lame.

If you use the same energy for every poster on the forum as you do for me then you have a photogenic memory.

I am not perfect DJ... I'm just a man with more mistakes and failures than you have (no sarcasm intended). Yet, last night a family friend was shot and killed in his house in front of his wife and children. Do you see me react in rage and anger again? No. I learned from my mistakes in 2009.

You will have a much better life if you stop recollecting the past and seeing the best in people and not the mistakes they make. This is my advice to the OP as well: Your mistakes do not define you Davey. They tell you who you are not.
 
Dude, I've given advice to some of my younger gay friends which seem to help.

No-one can tell you how, when or where to do it as your situation is unique. What helps though is to remember that whomever you tell also has to go through a process of adjustment, pretty much like you yourself are going through right now. Some people & especially parents reject their gay sons & daughters for various reasons at first, which is tough, but eventually most of them come around after they've had time to adjust to the fact. I know it's a big deal for you right now, but it's really not such a issue for society anymore. Give people sufficient time to adjust however and they usually come around.

I suggest tell your closest confidant first, there's usually less chances of outright rejection and that way you get to learn what works and what not before you move on to the more potentially difficult characters/parents/colleagues in your life. You'll most likely find that those that matter won't mind, and those that mind won't matter. Not everyone really needs to know, but you'll have to learn to differentiate between those that accept you and those that don't .. and you most likely will have to be prepared to lose those that don't, it happens.

Sometimes at your age (still living at home) I've usually found that despite your hesitation at least one of your parents know already, or suspect at least. It'll be easier to talk to that parent first, or if you really have no idea .. mothers are (usually) easier to talk to regarding such matters. You'll know what to do and say, just choose a time when you feel comfortable opening up.

Feeling trapped is no way to live your life, so whatever you decide to do good luck, I hope things go well for you.
 
abzo said:
Ok question, why do you have to tell them? Why can't they just figure it out? I didn't tell my folks and friends that I'm straight. You gay guys need to stop discriminating against yourselves!
Click to expand...

Two reasons:

1. If they are going to find out...it should be from you and you owe them that to tell them straight up...when the time is right of course. They are your parents and they deserve to know who you are. Yes...being gay aint the be all end all..but it is a pretty big part of who you are as it determines who you will fall in love with.

2. Parents can be pretty strange creatures. They might have a clue...but will choose to ignore it and hope it goes away...or even hope that you will suppress it and go the other way to make them happy. Non so blind as those who do not want to see I think the saying goes.

As for other people like co workers etc...sure...let them figure it out by themselves.
 
abzo said:
Ok question, why do you have to tell them? Why can't they just figure it out? I didn't tell my folks and friends that I'm straight. You gay guys need to stop discriminating against yourselves!
Click to expand...

Dude, sorry to say this but you must be extremely ignorant.
Do you know ANYTHING about what gay guys have to put up with? A lot of society is still behind the times here in south Africa mate....

You didn't have to tell your parents you are straight because that's what most people are.
same with atheism - most people believe in one of the Gods, so WE are the ones that are "different" - it's totally normal, but for them, it is not.
 
teraside said:
Wow. So you actually have a 3 year tab on my comments? That is lame.

If you use the same energy for every poster on the forum as you do for me then you have a photogenic memory.

I am not perfect DJ... I'm just a man with more mistakes and failures than you have (no sarcasm intended). Yet, last night a family friend was shot and killed in his house in front of his wife and children. Do you see me react in rage and anger again? No. I learned from my mistakes in 2009.

You will have a much better life if you stop recollecting the past and seeing the best in people and not the mistakes they make. This is my advice to the OP as well: Your mistakes do not define you Davey. They tell you who you are not.
Click to expand...

Maybe I need to learn not to hold a grudge. And yes, I do have a good long-term memory. You're not the only one with a file in my head...:D

Good for you if you've changed your tune since then. I was peeved with the sense of moral high-ground that you pretended to post from and the inability to identify your own problems, such as racism and homophobia, which was strikingly ironic. Good on you if you've really changed your tune on these issues. However your posts in this thread tell a bit of a different story...
 
2. Parents can be pretty strange creatures. They might have a clue...but will choose to ignore it and hope it goes away...or even hope that you will suppress it and go the other way to make them happy. Non so blind as those who do not want to see I think the saying goes.
Click to expand...

This reminds me of a funny situation...

When I first started going out with my gf about 4 years ago, they had a family gathering. Aunts and uncles and cousins and everything from all over.

Obviously I couldn't remember half the people or their names, but there was this one guy was quite funny, so that night I asked my gf what the name of her gay cousin was. She was like :wtf: "How did you know he was gay?"

I said it's seemed pretty obvious to me from his mannerisms (it was still an assumption on my part though), turns out the whole family knows he is gay, except his mom and dad and his dad is a pastor or something.

So ja, parents are strange creatures.
 
teraside said:
This is my advice to the OP as well: Your mistakes do not define you Davey.
Click to expand...

jackie-chan-wtf-300x216.png


Dude, your advice sucks, and has nothing to do with helping him coming out to his friends and family

Mistakes?
get outta here mate, seriously - this thread is not for you.
 
DJ... said:
Maybe I need to learn not to hold a grudge. And yes, I do have a good long-term memory. You're not the only one with a file in my head...:D

Good for you if you've changed your tune since then. I was peeved with the sense of moral high-ground that you pretended to post from and the inability to identify your own problems, such as racism and homophobia, which was strikingly ironic. Good on you if you've really changed your tune on these issues. However your posts in this thread tell a bit of a different story...
Click to expand...

My posts cause conflict because my beliefs conflict with the rest. I don't believe a person is born gay, but if others believe it then it's fine. Their conscience isn't my conscience. I can't say a person can't be a vegan if they choose to. They can. I can't say the OP shouldn't be gay, he can, it's his choice.

I only highlighted my conscience, which in my mind says the "reason" men find other men for partners stem from intimacy.

IMHO a man is a really intimate being, almost more than a female. I have to ask my GF at times to leave the rough stuff until later and love me a bit :D ;) :p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X