How much time do you spend with your SO?

_Hecate_ said:
Do you spend as much time as possible with the person if you are not living together or do you still do your own things and occasionally see him/her?

I feel like i'm the guy in the relationship. I like doing my own thing and dont need to see him 24/7 but he gets sulky when I have other things i want to do! Is this normal? Or am i just too independent?
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He could get very possessive later on in the relationship which could end up him beating you if he sees you with a guy friend, thats just what i picked up on watching Dr Phil when i was younger .
 
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cerebus said:
Yes but it doesn't really change how you relate to each other. That's a kind of a compatibility syncopation that's unique to every individual and couple. It has to do with whether you want to sleep touching or apart, watch TV or go hiking, alphabetize cupboards or leave things on a disarray on the floor, be cloyingly inseparable or touchdown once a week, fight or withdraw, and so on. Fundamentally it's the basis of the longevity of a couple.
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The OP specifically asked how how much time people spend with thier SO where they do not live together. Living together, as you've conceded, generally means spending more time together. Therefore the people who are replying based on how much time they spend with thier SO that they live with are not supplying the OP with the information they are asking for.
 
Icarium said:
The OP specifically asked how how much time people spend with thier SO where they do not live together. Living together, as you've conceded, generally means spending more time together. Therefore the people who are replying based on how much time they spend with thier SO that they live with are not supplying the OP with the information they are asking for.
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All the OP was really asking was whether she and her boyfriend are compatible because she's irritated that he wants to spend all his time with her. You're being awfully pedantic over a very irrelevant point.
 
cerebus said:
All the OP was really asking was whether she and her boyfriend are compatible because she's irritated that he wants to spend all his time with her. You're being awfully pedantic over a very irrelevant point.
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And you're being awfully blase with your assumptions about what the OP is really asking and what parts of her question are and aren't irrelevant. To each thier own.
 
cerebus said:
All the OP was really asking was whether she and her boyfriend are compatible because she's irritated that he wants to spend all his time with her. You're being awfully pedantic over a very irrelevant point.
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i wanted to establish what is the norm for couples who do not live together.
 
_Hecate_ said:
i wanted to establish what is the norm for couples who do not live together.
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As others have said, and I noticed straight away.

It's obvious you don't really like the guy and use him to satisfy urges.
 
Chevron said:
As others have said, and I noticed straight away.

It's obvious you don't really like the guy and use him to satisfy urges.
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No, I think you as a person needs to be happy with yourself and being alone with yourself. When ppl cannot do that, it freaks me out. I dont want to be their everything..too much pressure and expectation.
 
_Hecate_ said:
Do you spend as much time as possible with the person if you are not living together or do you still do your own things and occassionally see him/her?

I feel like i'm the guy in the relationship. I like doing my own thing and dont need to see him 24/7 but he gets sulky when I have other things i want to do! Is this normal? Or am i just too independent?
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I see my SO around 5/7 days a week.
 
_Hecate_ said:
No, I think you as a person needs to be happy with yourself and being alone with yourself. When ppl cannot do that, it freaks me out. I dont want to be their everything..too much pressure and expectation.
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I do get what you're saying, but why date someone you don't want to spend time with though?

It's normal if you really like someone to want to spend more time with them. Especially early in the relationship during the "honeymoon phase".

And by your last sentence it shows you don't feel the same way.

You need to let him know.

Your questions seem to be you trying to find justification for using him so you don't feel bad.

This proves it:

_Hecate_ said:
i like him..but i think it should be more of a friends with benefits. I'm not cut out for all this clingyness.
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You only see it as clingyness because you don't feel anything for him. He sounds like a normal guy.

Just tell him all you want is a friend with benefits and you'll both be better off.
 
RexxGrim said:
Ideally you need someone that's requires the same amount of "us" time then you. If one is indepenent and the other dependent it's not going to work out. One will feel smothered while the other will feel neglected.

I know people who are constantly together and it works, while other people do there own thing and it works as well. As long as the needs of both parties are close.

It will never be 100% in balance so thats when one person would need to make a little effort for more "us" time while the other should give the partner a little more "me" time to close the gap.
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Depends on the relationship and understanding between two people, if both of you are confident and secure with where you stand there won't be a problem but if there is a lack of communication and a fair amount of insecurities, there will be a lot of fighting on this matter which in my opinion will only lead to separation. Communicate and negotiate, that is if both of you want it to work, otherwise there will be lots of time wasted in your life.
 
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