How much time do you spend with your SO?

_Hecate_ said:
I feel like i'm the guy in the relationship. I like doing my own thing and dont need to see him 24/7 but he gets sulky when I have other things i want to do! Is this normal? Or am i just too independent?
Click to expand...

no, judging by your over analyzing of the situation you're clearly still the woman in the relationship.

Cut the guy some slack he's infatuated. In good time you'll be fighting a losing battle with the TV or his mates for attention....
 
Last edited:
OrbitalDawn said:
Why 'sadly enough'? Do you want it to be love instantly, every time?
Click to expand...

no not at all, Im saying this cause infatuation is misleading, it ends eventually and someone is always left being the only one in love, hence me saying "sadly enough"
 
Alan said:
no, judging by your over analyzing of the situation you're clearly still the woman in the relationship.

Cut the guy some slack he's infatuated. In good time you'll be fighting a losing battle with the TV or his mates for attention....
Click to expand...
Actually I think you are wrong.

The guy is not confident enough, and he is letting her move into the masculine role in the relationship. If he continue to do that, this relationship is going to go in 1 direction only, and its not the good one. I have no doubt she likes the guy, he definitely has something that she like, BUT to keep a relationship going, you have to ensure the woman stays in love with you, and as a man you can do that, but the 1st requirement is, as the man you need to take the masculine role in the relationship, and let the woman take the feminine role. She has to be the one who wants to spend more time with him, not the other way around.

Over thinking the relationship is just the 1st sign, that she is falling out of love with this guy. The next step is she will ask to take a break or sleep with another guy if the opportunity is there. Note, I am not saying she is a slut or a whore or anything negative like that, I am just saying that is usually what happens.

The only way this can be fixed, is by the guy growing some balls, and take on the masculine role, otherwise, inevitably this is going to be another break-up from her side.
 
The only way this can be fixed, is by the guy growing some balls, and take on the masculine role, otherwise, inevitably this is going to be another break-up from her side.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Today females are forced to be the man in the relationship, everywhere i look. It might be a cycle, women are standing up and taking action because men are not, or men are taking a back seat because women are coming forward.
 
Tinuva said:
Actually I think you are wrong.

The guy is not confident enough, and he is letting her move into the masculine role in the relationship. If he continue to do that, this relationship is going to go in 1 direction only, and its not the good one. I have no doubt she likes the guy, he definitely has something that she like, BUT to keep a relationship going, you have to ensure the woman stays in love with you, and as a man you can do that, but the 1st requirement is, as the man you need to take the masculine role in the relationship, and let the woman take the feminine role. She has to be the one who wants to spend more time with him, not the other way around.

Over thinking the relationship is just the 1st sign, that she is falling out of love with this guy. The next step is she will ask to take a break or sleep with another guy if the opportunity is there. Note, I am not saying she is a slut or a whore or anything negative like that, I am just saying that is usually what happens.

The only way this can be fixed, is by the guy growing some balls, and take on the masculine role, otherwise, inevitably this is going to be another break-up from her side.
Click to expand...

dreamrobin said:
Agreed. Today females are forced to be the man in the relationship, everywhere i look. It might be a cycle, women are standing up and taking action because men are not, or men are taking a back seat because women are coming forward.
Click to expand...

Yay, re-enforcing gender stereotypes and roles, how wonderful.
Of couse, she must diet obsessively and he must must be the logical and unemotional one.
He must not be needy or emotional at all and she must never be assertive or even slightly independent.
I really hope she knows her place is in the kitchen and that he is willing to sleep around behind her back cause then they will be obeying their gender roles perfectly and all will be well!
 
dreamrobin said:
Agreed. Today females are forced to be the man in the relationship, everywhere i look. It might be a cycle, women are standing up and taking action because men are not, or men are taking a back seat because women are coming forward.
Click to expand...
Actually they are not forced, however yes men are definitely taking the back seat. Its a long list of things that lead to this situation, but it sort of started after the 2nd Feminism movement. Don't get me wrong, I am all for it and it has it's advantages, but the disadvantage of the the 3rd movement is, that boys are brought up to believe that men and women are equal, which they should be in the work place, politics ect, however they also mistake this when it come to a relationship.

Yes you are equal in a relationship, both has to give and work on it, however the man should take the leading role. He does not have to force his will off on the women, he just need to be a leader, and take on the responsibility of choosing the direction the relationship go while taking his partner's opinion and ideas into consideration. The women's role is to support her man in whatever really.

What make this difficult today though is, imagine you get this women, she has her own company and literally doesn't need a man to look after her. The fact however is, she still want a man in her life, that make her feel like a women. If she get that guy, trust me, she will fall in love with him and stay in love with him, as long as he stay in the masculine role. It won't be easy when the women will be looking after him financially ect, however he can still be in that role if he knows how, or is naturally an alpha.

But yea, it is all too easy for the man to take the back seat, and start acting like a women and taking on the feminine role in the relationship. It saddens me, because I know that couple, however madly deeply in love they were at first, will not work out.

So as you can see, I blame men for making the mistake of taking the back seat and acting like girls.
 
Yay, re-enforcing gender stereotypes and roles, how wonderful.
Of couse, she must diet obsessively and he must must be the logical and unemotional one.
He must not be needy or emotional at all and she must never be assertive or even slightly independent.
I really hope she knows her place is in the kitchen and that he is willing to sleep around behind her back cause then they will be obeying their gender roles perfectly and all will be well!
Click to expand...

This is not the kind of roles we are referring to. We are concerned with the deeper aspects of a relationship between a man and woman, not a shallow analysis of contemporary society.
 
joelus said:
Yay, re-enforcing gender stereotypes and roles, how wonderful.
Of couse, she must diet obsessively and he must must be the logical and unemotional one.
He must not be needy or emotional at all and she must never be assertive or even slightly independent.
I really hope she knows her place is in the kitchen and that he is willing to sleep around behind her back cause then they will be obeying their gender roles perfectly and all will be well!
Click to expand...
It is only stereo type because people classified it as such.

The fact of the matter is you need these "stereotypical" roles for a successful relationship. Go look at successful relationships, in detail, and you will see what makes those relationships tick.

But you are right, the woman is the emotional partner in the relationship, the man should be the stable one who she comes back to when she is done with whatever keeps her busy.

Now here is a fun fact, what I did with my GF. When we met, on the very first date she told me "If you think the kitchen is my place, or that I will clean up after you, you have it coming!". I knew immediately, she is joking, but also testing me. I obviously laughed and said "I will never force you to do anything you don't want to do", with a nice smirk on my face. Fast forward a few months later, and she is doing all of those things, out of her own will! Yes, I didn't make her do anything, all I had to do, is take on the masculine role, and she fell into place without me asking or forcing her to do anything. She now makes food for me, clean my house (yes she doesn't even stay there yet, only stay over some nights) and even look after my dog now. You know what the best part is, when she come over, the first emotion I see on her face when she looks at me, is the face of someone that is still deep in love with me. It is a type of satisfaction I will never give up, you can say I go against what feminists stood up for, you can see what I believe in is stereo typical, or whatever. At the end of the day, I have a successful relationship with an amazing woman, we both are happy whether we spend time together or apart.
 
Tinuva said:
It is only stereo type because people classified it as such.

The fact of the matter is you need these "stereotypical" roles for a successful relationship. Go look at successful relationships, in detail, and you will see what makes those relationships tick.

But you are right, the woman is the emotional partner in the relationship, the man should be the stable one who she comes back to when she is done with whatever keeps her busy.

Now here is a fun fact, what I did with my GF. When we met, on the very first date she told me "If you think the kitchen is my place, or that I will clean up after you, you have it coming!". I knew immediately, she is joking, but also testing me. I obviously laughed and said "I will never force you to do anything you don't want to do", with a nice smirk on my face. Fast forward a few months later, and she is doing all of those things, out of her own will! Yes, I didn't make her do anything, all I had to do, is take on the masculine role, and she fell into place without me asking or forcing her to do anything. She now makes food for me, clean my house (yes she doesn't even stay there yet, only stay over some nights) and even look after my dog now. You know what the best part is, when she come over, the first emotion I see on her face when she looks at me, is the face of someone that is still deep in love with me. It is a type of satisfaction I will never give up, you can say I go against what feminists stood up for, you can see what I believe in is stereo typical, or whatever. At the end of the day, I have a successful relationship with an amazing woman, we both are happy whether we spend time together or apart.
Click to expand...

I'm sure every happy relationship is just like yours. The men play the male role and the women play the female role and all is well.
It's a real shame that men who are effeminate and women who are masculine will never be able to have happy relationships like yours.
 
and she is doing all of those things, out of her own will!
Click to expand...

Naturally, and I speak for most women, we want to play our role, it is in us, we are however in a new world where women are independent and no longer play the role of "damsel in distress"

But when on a deeper level in a relationship, a woman will always need a man to be a man to make her feel like a woman and vice versa.
 
joelus said:
I'm sure every happy relationship is just like yours. The men play the male role and the women play the female role and all is well.
It's a real shame that men who are effeminate and women who are masculine will never be able to have happy relationships like yours.
Click to expand...
Look you can reply like that, but it doesn't bring anything positive to the conversation at hand.

Keep in mind, for every generalization, there is an exception. Thus I am 100% sure there are relationships out there where the guy is in the feminine role and the women in the masculine role. In fact, I am 100% sure there are people out there that want that, but keep in mind, it is the minority, so if that is your thing, then great and best of luck to you finding your ideal partner. For the general 99% of people out there, that however just won't work, and to them I would like to give them advice that will give them the best possible opportunity to get into an amazing relationship.
 
Tinuva said:
Look you can reply like that, but it doesn't bring anything positive to the conversation at hand.

Keep in mind, for every generalization, there is an exception. Thus I am 100% sure there are relationships out there where the guy is in the feminine role and the women in the masculine role. In fact, I am 100% sure there are people out there that want that, but keep in mind, it is the minority, so if that is your thing, then great and best of luck to you finding your ideal partner. For the general 99% of people out there, that however just won't work, and to them I would like to give them advice that will give them the best possible opportunity to get into an amazing relationship.
Click to expand...

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Perhaps you need to get out of SA more often.
 
dreamrobin said:
Naturally, and I speak for most women, we want to play our role, it is in us, we are however in a new world where women are independent and no longer play the role of "damsel in distress"

But when on a deeper level in a relationship, a woman will always need a man to be a man to make her feel like a woman and vice versa.
Click to expand...
That is exactly what I am trying to say :)
 
joelus said:
I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Perhaps you need to get out of SA more often.
Click to expand...
Ok cool we can do that :)

My advice is actually something I learned from someone that come from Europe, and he helps people all over the world, and is very successful at that too. I am giving advice that help people mostly from a western society, not to say it won't work for non-western societies.
 
dreamrobin said:
Naturally, and I speak for most women, we want to play our role, it is in us, we are however in a new world where women are independent and no longer play the role of "damsel in distress"

But when on a deeper level in a relationship, a woman will always need a man to be a man to make her feel like a woman and vice versa.
Click to expand...
LOL, yes, I'm not sure most women would appreciate you speaking for them.
Anyway, you're not entitled to an opinion, you're just a woman.
Let the men talk, ok.
Go make us coffee or something.
 
LOL, yes, I'm not sure most women would appreciate you speaking for them.
Anyway, you're not entitled to an opinion, you're just a woman.
Let the men talk, ok.
Go make us coffee or something.
Click to expand...

I feel sorry for the woman or man you end up with :(
 
So @joelus how long have you been in a relationship, and what kind of roles do you 2 take on?

And why are you responding the way you do in this thread? I almost thought you are just trolling but now I am starting to think you are just passing time by and working on your post count.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X