I am having a breakdown

Pitbull said:
And no issue with that. You have both been open about it from the start.

What if you forced your GF opted to be vegetarian to please you in some way or another? You would be proud of him/her and they would be to ashamed to tell you that they have meat every other day when on lunch at work. You can understand that concept though right?
Click to expand...

I'd expect to be kicked to the curb if I forced her to change who and what she is.
 
[XC] Oj101;16091448 said:
I'd expect to be kicked to the curb if I forced her to change who and what she is.
Click to expand...

Agreed, but what if they do it out of courtesy and liking the appreciation they get from getting your approval. Even though it's not what they want or prefer. They might even have had all the best intentions in the world but it just didn't work. So they fall back into old habits but don't want to offend you or hurt you in anyway. So they keep it a secret.
 
Pitbull said:
What do you mean... ofc you can.

Relationships especially monogamous ones is about catering to your partners sexual needs and desires. If you can't please them or they can't be open enough to tell you about their desires and needs are they will find it somewhere else. Doesn't change a single thing about how they feel about the person they love.

This however has an exception to the rule just like anything else. Maybe the Husband or partner feels a very emotional bond to sex and forms a bond or loving relationship with the other person too. Doesn't change the fact that he still loves to OP. He just can't have both and will have to choose. Love can't go away. We tend to choose based on what we want not how we feel.

I love my mother with all my heart, I don't want to bang her though. Even if she bangs 300 guys a night and I don't approve of it, would never change my love for my mother. Same goes with all lasting loving relationships formed over time. you can't fall out of love with someone... You just end up loving someone else too and need to make a choice on what you want in the future or going forward.
Click to expand...

I was referring to the example he gave about sneaking out to have steak behind his wife's back. That is not the same as cheating, it really isn't.

Rocket Raccoon said:
So you're a keyboard warrior?
Click to expand...

It was said tongue-in-cheek, but whatever floats your boat.
 
Ho3n3r said:
I was referring to the example he gave about sneaking out to have steak behind his wife's back. That is not the same as cheating, it really isn't.



It was said tongue-in-cheek, but whatever floats your boat.
Click to expand...

Sex is just like any other activity. People have put this holy grail on sex that's not needed tbh. Well that my opinion and your welcome to agree. What difference does it make if I go drink beer after work in secret with the boys or shagging the PA. It's just an activity parties enjoy part taking in :D
 
Pitbull said:
Sex is just like any other activity. People have put this holy grail on sex that's not needed tbh. Well that my opinion and your welcome to agree. What difference does it make if I go drink beer after work in secret with the boys or shagging the PA. It's just an activity parties enjoy part taking in :D
Click to expand...
Missus will kill you if she reads this.



Grootbek.
 
Pitbull said:
Sex is just like any other activity. People have put this holy grail on sex that's not needed tbh. Well that my opinion and your welcome to agree. What difference does it make if I go drink beer after work in secret with the boys or shagging the PA. It's just an activity parties enjoy part taking in :D
Click to expand...

Agree with that, there shouldn't be any emotional attachment to sex, and it shouldn't be frowned upon for people who think this way.

However if you've made a conscious decision to commit to and marry someone, it should be completely out of the question. Along with anything else sexual in nature...
 
After reading this entire thread and kicking a cheating husband to the curb when my daughter was 6 months old and I was completely financially unstable, here is my view.

There is much to say about a woman's instinct, its this 6th sense that we have to immediately detect when our relationships are off course. Don't take it lightly, listen to it and in your mind you will know whether it is worth staying or worth leaving. This is one time where you cannot follow your heart but your head. Trust you, because you know you best and what you are prepared to accept and what you absolutely will not. Work only with facts, not assumptions and not emotions, they will never be your guide.

Don't use your child to fulfill your curiosity, they are there to be loved not to be used to find solutions. Mother Nature can be a bitch, you don't ever want that to come back to you.

WRT the Maintenance, the court will look at both your incomes, the expenditure on your child and whomever has the most disposable income will cover the majority of the cost. Make sure you add in absolutely everything that you need to ensure your kid get the lifestyle that he/she was accustomed to before the divorce. Its their right, your divorce should not be his/her loss. If your ex is wanting to be a good father, let him. If he doesn't want to pay for his child the court will make him, and you demanding it is being a good Mother, looking after his/her interests before your own. As a mother our priority is our kids before anything else, that is key.

Don't settle, be strong and you will come out of this better than ok.

Chin up OP, you have ladies and gents here (through all the jokes and BS) will help you through this.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
/apart from the bit about women having a 6th sense... :sick:
Click to expand...

Ye, everyone has got it. Although I wouldn't call it a 6th sense. It is more like your subconscious mind able to process more factors than you are totally aware of. It does pattern matching and alerts you when it notices a distinct break in that pattern.

As much as a cheater may think that they are being incognito, there will always be breaks in the pattern that are noticeable. If your conscious mind is not paying attention, your subconscious certainly is.
 
WhiteRaven said:
You'd be surprised at what we know that we don't let on. We accept somethings but you will only hear about the ones we absolutely will not.
Click to expand...

But it is a human thing, not some special Woman thing. I think that is what Mike is really objecting to. Men notice plenty about their women that we tend not to mention either. We are all just the same blueprint, running on slightly different hardware.
 
SoulTax said:
But it is a human thing, not some special Woman thing. I think that is what Mike is really objecting to. Men notice plenty about their women that we tend not to mention either. We are all just the same blueprint, running on slightly different hardware.
Click to expand...

It is a human thing I agree, but where my argument would come in here is that men don't really run on emotion and heart all the time. They compartmentalize things, everything has a box and they notice when that specific box is disturbed. Woman though have a matrix that is consistently intertwined so a change in behavior in one space will identify a problem/solution in another. So our subconscious or as I put it 6th sense is a bit more in tune with our entire surroundings, not a specific element.

We can debate this should you wish, but I would prefer not to hijack this thread.
 
Pitbull said:
Sex is just like any other activity. People have put this holy grail on sex that's not needed tbh. Well that my opinion and your welcome to agree. What difference does it make if I go drink beer after work in secret with the boys or shagging the PA. It's just an activity parties enjoy part taking in :D
Click to expand...

Since you'd sleep with anything with a hole between its legs, have you actually had extramarital sex?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X