I am having a breakdown

Pitbull said:
My point I was trying to make is just that it's stupid to say he doesn't love the OP. For all we know he adores her and loves her like nothing else on earth. Just because someone cheats doesn't mean they love the person any less that they are with. I'm not trying to justify cheating in any way or means ;)
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I agree with you and i fully understand why i was cheated on too, and since then i have also changed my stance on sex and relationships after divorce. i gave people what i thought they wanted, but it's what they expected from looking at others around them.

being a dad(and a largely single dad) can make embracing your sexuality hard, else i would probably be shagging my next 40 years of my life away weekly :p
 
headache said:
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Sounds like you have some really tough decisions to make. What you need to do first is drop your kid off with someone responsible, lock yourself in a room with a glass of water and two headache pills. Have a good cry (get your playlist of songs that make you cry if you struggle to cry), scream, shout whatever until that thing in your chest is less. When you're done drink the water and pills and sleep. Best advice someone ever gave me and it really helps.

Then draw up a list of all the good vs bad in your life. List where the bad is coming from and ask yourself if having those bad things/people in your life is worth it. Then decide what you're going to do about them. Remember you're stronger than you think you are. Take control of your life and stop allowing other people to dictate it for you.

Example:
You have a good, well paying job: You don't need the cheaters money. There's absolutely no reason to keep your child in that toxic environment. Children pickup more than we think they do.
You feel like crap, because your ex is getting a free ride with your child. Get him to start contributing for his child. Forget the cheater, if he truly cared about your child and providing a stable home, he wouldn't be pulling this stunt. Don't go after your ex in an ugly way like some women do though. It adds unnecessary drama and stress to both your child and your life.

Divorce that cancerous cheater. He's clearly not getting something from you or your family. Set him free. No screams or hysterics; just tell him to go pursue whatever he's looking for that he can't find with your family and don't ever take him back. He doesn't sound like he loves or respects you. Why would you want to stay with someone like that? Is whatever emotional (is there even any now?) good you're getting from him worth the added pain?
 
I always love it when single people who don't have a clue give relationship/marriage advice :whistle:
 
[XC] Oj101;16082502 said:
You're gonna get crap advice here.

  • You need to talk to him and/or go for marriage counseling.
    [*]Someone in a happy relationship is unlikely to cheat.
  • Child support will benefit the two of you, it won't stop the child from being able to make their own decisions.
  • If he's actually bringing home more money he might very well be putting in extra hours, maybe for the very reason that not getting child support is a burden.
  • He's probably against child support from your ex due to pride, he wants to be the provider without the help of your ex.
  • The SMS could've been from someone who went with for the dinner, I don't know the context of the message so it's just a thought.
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Exactly. If he was happy, he wouldn't cheat. She needs to set him free to go find his happiness somewhere else. Because clearly his pursuit is hurting her and her child.
 
I think the one question we should be asking:
Do you want to leave OR do you want to confirm your suspicions only?
 
Advice should be based on the OPs cultural as it would differ slightly. Different cultures have sensitivities how you deal with these things. You can't always just kick your partner to the curb depending on the culture your in. Look at Zuma's one wife who poisoned him. He didn't divorce her or kick her to the curb but he has put her in seperate house.
 
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