I despise weakness and dependence.

Ockie said:
OWH PLEASE!! That is every straight mans DREAM! Whats wrong with you?
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Not when you find out your current girl friend's x is your previous x, trust me awkward.

It's cool when at cat fight starts, and you think it is over you, and when it ends they start making out... forgetting about you... not so cool - Happened in my younger years. :wtf:
 
Graal said:
Okay, so here's an odd one. In a relationship, I absolutely despise any form of dependence, I guess? So, as most of you will remember, I posted this thread a while back, and things have been dragging out for a while now. Kinda my fault, as I didn't really want to have to tell her it wasn't going to work. So the past two weeks she suddenly got very needy, and we weren't even in a relationship. Wanted me to call her daily, etc. It reached the point over the weekend where she organized to sleep over at a friend and braai at our house and was in the process of planning a roadtrip the following day just for me and her. So, I then told her there that things aren't going to work like she's hoping it will, and she burst into tears.

I was utterly disgusted, and realized that I had actually been disgusted/irritated with her for a while, and pinned it on her neediness and vulnerability. I didn't actually even feel bad for her, despite the fact that her friend claims she cried the entirety of the following day.

I don't know if I'm just heartless, but I've reached the conclusion that I simply despise vulnerability and dependence in a relationship. And yes, I mean despise. I think that's why, although I'm attracted to both sexes, I generally prefer to go for guys. At the risk of sounding like a stereotyping douche, I've found that guys are generally a lot easier to be in a relationship with than girls. They're a lot more independent, and I love that.

I don't want to have to report to you every time I go somewhere during the day. Hell, I don't necessarily even want to contact you every day. If I don't hear from you for a day or two, it's no skin off my back. I don't want to deal with your all emotional issues. I'll be there when you really need it, but I'm not your psychiatrist. If you go somewhere with friends, you really don't have to let me know. We don't have to go everywhere together either. People who handle relationships in this way generally irritate the living hell out of me, same as people who are always Facebooking each other about how much they love one another.

I dunno. I spoke to one of my friends about it, and her opinion was that I'm a cold bastard and definitely not relationship-material. Anyone else feel this way about relationships?
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I used to be this way when I was younger. But when you do eventually fall in love with someone, and when they eventually kick you to the curb, it's not a lekker feeling. I'm sure she had to put up with as much of your crap as you had to put up with hers.

Since you're still young, maybe it's fine for now. But if you still feel this way towards others after a period of time, then it is time to seek help as someone suggested.

Also, COMMUNICATE FFS! What the hell is wrong with you people? If you think that she's getting a bit clingy then tell her as soon as it starts bothering you. Don't let it fester and grow and eventually explode. It might offend her a bit, but it's something for her to work on, and she doesn't go through the relationship thinking that everything is ok only to discover the problem when you dump her. You're as much at fault here for allowing it to happen, and the fact that you don't see this and feel no remorse about it is a little disconcerting.
 
Just to clarify, we weren't actually in a relationship, so I didn't actually dump her. Near the end she started acting like we were in a relationship, which is when I told her things weren't going to work.

Also, thanks for everyone who has responded so far. Even though I haven't responded to every individual post, I did actually read all of them. It's just nice getting advice and opinions from people who have been alive and experiencing these things for longer than me. I didn't really see it as such a big deal at the start, but the more people post the more I think it's something I really should work on.
 
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I never understood people who are bi... I mean, choose a gender already! what, do you have to have sex with everybody? is half the population not enough? :D
 
You don't have to understand why they bi you must just be humble and leave em be. People can do what they want to...
 
Keeper said:
I never understood people who are bi... I mean, choose a gender already! what, do you have to have sex with everybody? is half the population not enough? :D
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Well, not the entire population. Pan-sexuals would be the entire population. I don't particularly think I'd enjoy a relationship with a transvestite. :p
 
Graal said:
Well, not the entire population. Pan-sexuals would be the entire population. I don't particularly think I'd enjoy a relationship with a transvestite. :p
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Why? A transvestite combines both your interests in one. If anything, a transvestite should be your ideal parter.
 
Nick333 said:
As much as the ideal of the strong independent type is touted humans are basically dependent and needy. There are extremes of course. I'd say you're on one extreme.

Extreme neediness can be distasteful but so can callous disregard for others vulnerability. Strong relationships are built on shared vulnerability. We trust our loved ones with our vulnerability and they reciprocate. That's pretty much what real friendship is.

You never liked this girl but you liked the attention until it cost you something. All relationships you get anything from cost something even if it's a bit of kindness.

Your friend is right - you're not relationship material. You're still selfish and immature (and I'm guessing out of touch with your own emotional needs). But unless you're a sociopath you will find yourself in a vulnerable position to someone one day. I hope for your sake it's with someone kinder than yourself. ;) :)
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The next time he starts a thread looking for attention he should be ignored...

Like the one where he moaned about noisy neighbours. He clearly does not deserve sympathy.
 
ChilliGirl said:
The next time he starts a thread looking for attention he should be ignored...

Like the one where he moaned about noisy neighbours. He clearly does not deserve sympathy.
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Hey, if you're not interested in discussing something, move right along. Nobody's forcing you to read a thread, hun, so there's no need to get nasty.
 
Graal said:
Hey, if you're not interested in discussing something, move right along. Nobody's forcing you to read a thread, hun, so there's no need to get nasty.
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But it's fine for you to be nasty to that girl? :erm:
:p
 
Graal said:
Hey, if you're not interested in discussing something, move right along. Nobody's forcing you to read a thread, hun, so there's no need to get nasty.
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It was not a nasty comment, merely an observation.

If you felt a kick, it is because you do not enjoy the shoe on the other foot. You cannot expect your cock to be stroked without stroking the pu$$y back.
:rolleyes:

abzo said:
But it's fine for you to be nasty to that girl? :erm:
:p
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Yip, seems like that is how he wants it.
 
ChilliGirl said:
It was not a nasty comment, merely an observation.

If you felt a kick, it is because you do not enjoy the shoe on the other foot. You cannot expect your cock to be stroked without stroking the pu$$y back.
:rolleyes:
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Your post makes absolutely no sense in the context of your previous post. You basically called me an attention-whore for posting a thread. so, erm, what?

Yip, seems like that is how he wants it.
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Honey, did you even read the thread at all?
 
Graal said:
Your post makes absolutely no sense in the context of your previous post.



Honey, did you even read the thread at all?
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Sugar-plumb. Maybe you should take a little more time when reading my posts... ;)

It remains in the same context.
 
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