I know a secret....

Bizkit87 said:
Nuff said... :p
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Dude, I come from JHB(Northern suburbs), only been here for 1 and a half years

Nuff Said :p

Stefanmuller said:
So you took the blame for someone else's mistake/crime without anyone knowing the truth so everyone thinks you are a a-hole. But if you tell then everyone will feel bad for having hated you your whole life, plus everyone will now hate the real culprit?
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Thats the one.
 
sand_man said:
So what is the real reason you left JHB for PE then?
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Well everyone hates me in Gauteng for a start.... :)

Actually I was based in JHB but stayed the world over, from Malaysia to New York, including Europe China and New Zealand. Decided I had enough of huge cities but did not want to stay in a small town. PE was one of the smallest cities we have so I decided to come here.

Kind of a time to relax and wind down move.
 
Stefanmuller said:
Is the real culprit still alive, and is this person aware of the fact that you bailed him/her out? Was it worth it?
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To be honest, as I posted this under my real nick and some people know me in real life not gonna elaborate to much. They might end up putting 2 and 2 together. So for anonymity sake I rather keep the real info hidden or mixed into others.
 
Elimentals said:
1st off I don't know if this is the right place or if its a PD type of question so if in needs to be move go for it.

What if you kept a secret. In doing so probably changed your personality, like in your whole family think your a <insert a whole lot of swearwords> but you dealt with it and lived your life as best you could without them.

If you are on your deathbed would you reveal the secret that could change how people judged you, but in the same time possibly break up marriages and maybe ruin some kids lives.

Would you:
A: Keep that secret, and let people go on with there lives thinking you where a dick so to speak.
B: Reveal it, and possible ruin lives, but change how people viewed you.

Oh and just for the record, I think I would go with option A, as I think it to be selfish to get gratification at the cost of other peoples lives, esp seeing that your is at an end.
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I don't keep secrets. Secrets are for high-school girls and people with an overinflated sense of importance.

Any secret worth keeping is a secret that shouldn't be kept because it's almost always at someone else's expense.

And if it's a secret about you, personally, then it's one you should come to terms with.
 
What bothers me is that there is some person who is obviously at "fault" and knows the secret or at least knows that you know... and they are happy to live with the fact that you are just going to sit on it.


Surely that person must be living in hell.
 
B - The truth is the truth. Also do not do the crime if you are not willing to do the time :p
 
Your post is conflicting.
If this secret will ruin marriages etc then it is something serious.Yet you think that telling the truth would be out of selfish gratification?

A hypothetical situation.
My brother is cheating on his wife and I know it. Do I tell or not?

Now understand this.
a. He is already hurting his wife(and kids) by messing around
b. If I told and they got divorced it would not be due to me telling, but due to him messing about
c. If the kids therefore suffer due to the sht that divorce brings, it would be on him as well, because if he cared he would not have done what did

By keeping secrets you are not helping at all.
 
Nerfherder said:
What bothers me is that there is some person who is obviously at "fault" and knows the secret or at least knows that you know... and they are happy to live with the fact that you are just going to sit on it.


Surely that person must be living in hell.
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Problem is I am more of a "the individual is worth less than a sum of people" type of person, but maybe this will help.

I am on a proverbial death bed as I have probably 3 or at most 5 years left on this planet. (Genetic f up and yes done the whole look for a cure ****)

I would love to explain to some person why I am/was the way I am/was but not at the cost it might come at.
 
Elimentals said:
Problem is I am more of a "the individual is worth less than a sum of people" type of person, but maybe this will help.

I am on a proverbial death bed as I have probably 3 or at most 5 years left on this planet. (Genetic f up and yes done the whole look for a cure ****)

I would love to explain to some person why I am/was the way I am/was but not at the cost it might come at.
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Option A
 
I am generally a truthful person, and whoever doesn't love me enough for letting me tell them a secret never loved me in the first place, that is what family is for isn't it?

Like someone said earlier if you do the crime you do the time.

There are things in my life i regret doing (and still do with Regrets) but if it had to come out i know that the people near me would still love me...
 
In my honest opinion:

If you are keeping this secret at the expense of your well being then it is not worth it. It sounds to me like your entire family is at heads with you due to said secret. If said secret was let loose then you could actually be able to enjoy the time you have left with your family. They might be pissed at you for a little while for not letting it out but that will fade.

Families might get broken but if they do not have the ability to keep it together through anything and everything then they were not that strong to begin with. Also, since this is obviously about adultery type things and not crime, I would say it is not fair to the ones that would be hurt to live without knowing what as been done to them. I for one would rather hurt and feel betrayed for some time and then pick up the pieces than unknowingly being shafted in the deal.

And lastly, no-one will die due to the truth. The truth is not a loaded gun. If letting the truth out does not get anyone killed then it is YOUR ****ING DUTY to let it out.

Grow a pair and talk.

:D
 
the person who did wrong should accept the consequences of his/her actions, people tend to say they made a mistake or blame it on something else but that is bs a person always have a choice.

there is no excuse for not telling the truth.
 
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Elimentals said:
Problem is I am more of a "the individual is worth less than a sum of people" type of person, but maybe this will help.

I am on a proverbial death bed as I have probably 3 or at most 5 years left on this planet. (Genetic f up and yes done the whole look for a cure ****)

I would love to explain to some person why I am/was the way I am/was but not at the cost it might come at.
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I suspect this is not the 'I know you are adopted' thing, which is something completely different.

So I suspect this is the bad type secret, which is basically a lie.
And a lie is just a form of control i.e I lie to you so I can control your behavior.
And this secret/lie, is eating your conscience, hence you wanting it out.

But this is a forum for geeks like me to talk about geeky stuff.
I would not ask your question here expecting a proper answer, rather find someone you trust, respect and who has some moral values and discuss it with them
 
kolaval said:
I suspect this is not the 'I know you are adopted' thing, which is something completely different.

So I suspect this is the bad type secret, which is basically a lie.
And a lie is just a form of control i.e I lie to you so I can control your behavior.
And this secret/lie, is eating your conscience, hence you wanting it out.

But this is a forum for geeks like me to talk about geeky stuff.
I would not ask your question here expecting a proper answer, rather find someone you trust, respect and who has some moral values and discuss it with them
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Well to be fair I have done my decision making part as mentioned in the 1st post. So is not really a ask for advice post, more of a what would you do kind of question.

Oh for the record the last thing I would want is for them to spend sympathy time with me. I rather them keep thinking I was an a hole and move on after I am gone.
 
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