ok so my boet's iMessage and Facetime activated while he was on the landline organising to give his phone
back within 7 days

but not because they were threatened. I know this because they were clueless.
i will try the same he did with my wife's iphone and let you know if it worked again for us.
First he signed out of Imessage and Facetime completely (make sure no email address is selected, nothing) and from Wifi (not sure if the Wifi has anything to do with it, but for the sake of completeness).
Created a contact with his own details and with his number but without any country code (just 082 ...).
Then to Settings>Mail, Contacts, Calendars>My Info and selected this new contact.
Then tried to activate iMessage and Facetime again, then put on the WiFi, and it still said waiting, and then was busy with some other stuff for an hour and then phoned to cancel with CellC and while on the phone he noticed that his number was suddenly added.
Good luck!