Interracial Dating - Advice Needed

I personally don't care about race (an attractive girl is an attractive girl, whether she's white, chinese, indian, or whatever), but I have found there is something of a racial hierarchy when it comes to dating (this is mostly in regards to men and the women they have access to). This is just something I've observed in regards to some of my friends or acquaintances, online dating profiles and just in regards to mixed-race couples I've seen on the street. And before anyone thinks I'm butthurt or something about this, I am "Indian" and most of my dating experience has been white and coloured girls, which is mostly because of my social circles.

I first noticed this when a friend of mine in KZN told me about the girls he was dating at various stages in his life. He is white, they are almost all Indian. It seems that he was mostly dating non-white girls since they seemed more interested in him that white girls. Then after I moved to Cape Town I made some Indian friends and started attending their parties, and I also noticed that almost all the Indian girls had white boyfriends. Another thing I noticed in regards to this, is that a white guy will generally be able to date "hotter" girls, if they are from outside of his race group. At least this seems to be the case with the Indian girls I am friends with (hot indian girl dating average looking white dude).

In regards to online dating profiles, many, many white girls select the answer "Will not date outside of my race group" on OKCupid's question lists. I have only seen this on one profile for a non-white girl.

Just in regards to general observation on the street, I have seen a number of white (or at very least caucasian looking) men with black girls, coloured girls, Indian girls, etc. However, it is much less common to see a non-white male with a white female. It's not that it doesn't exist, (it does) but it's definitely less common than white guys dating outside of their race group.

Of course race is not the only factor when it comes to dating (looks, height, money, personality etc all play a factor) but it seems to be an influencing factor.
 
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Ho3n3r said:
Colored girls are sexy in many cases. So are people from every race. If I was single, I would not mind dating an Indian girl, for example ;)

My dad would've killed me if I dated a non-white girl, but if my kid someday dates someone from another race, it wouldn't bother me at all.

It's to do with the past - I bet you most stares come from older people, or youngsters who were raised in racist homes. You just have to accept it, since it's not personal at all.
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seriously?

cbrunsdonza said:
Pitty they age badly.
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Seriously WTF?
 
froot said:
Well you gave your opinion there hey :D

/runs

/pops back in ... Yeah, twisting your words there :p


<opinion> You shouldn't care what other people think. It's none of your business.
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corrected that for you.
 
I've been married to my wife for almost 10 years and she is coloured.
10 years ago we used to get alot of stares in areas like Century City and the odd occasion we would go to Belville or Parow, but mostly from black people and older white people and we just ignored it. Over the years we don't really get any stares or we just don't notice it.
People have eventually just gotten used to the fact interracial/intercultural relationships are the norm in some parts of Cape Town.
 
How will other people staring at you influence your happiness? It won't. Leave the neanderthals to their stares and enjoy your life with the one you love.
 
I'm white and dating an Indian girl. When I told a friend of mine I'm dating, he said "please tell me she's white." I told him to **** right off. Other than him, I haven't had any grief from anyone.
 
I'm a hot guy, and I stare down any guy that I consider less hot than me, especially with a hot piece of tail at his side, so be offended. :p
 
Oj0 said:
I'm white and dating an Indian girl. When I told a friend of mine I'm dating, he said "please tell me she's white." I told him to **** right off. Other than him, I haven't had any grief from anyone.
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was he a close friend?
 
I know someone who decided not to marry from another race because his mother promised to disown him if he did. He was a wuss yes, but he says he didn't want the lifelong grief of his dinosaur mother
 
After my divorce in 2000 I started dating someone from Namibia for a short while. My dad is rather conservative and was telling me the one night after I introduced her to him that its OK these days to cross the line, things have changed and we live in a better time.

Took me a long time to figure out what he was getting at: She is portuguese and has a dark complexion.

Most of my friends thought she was coloured and it was not something I ever thought about. Funny that only one actually asked me if she was coloured, the rest really did not care, for them the colour of her skin was as unimportant as the colour of her hair, her nails or her lipstick.
 
Confession ahead

I STARED (bigtime):twisted:

But only because he was an old white geezer with nipples halfway kissing the ground and she was a smoking hot bikini clad african lady a quarter or less of his age.

@op dont worry what people think ,we are either jealous or stand in awe,hoping we will also be rich when we get old.:D
 
True story...
A friend at work was telling me about her white daughter liking a coloured guy at school. She immediately forbid her daughter to see this guy and then she proceeds to tell me, a coloured guy, ...'if she dates that guy and they break up, no other white guy will want to touch her because she was intimate with a coloured guy'.......
I don't know if there's any truth in the matter but I found it a very sad comment :(
 
Interesting....I dated a white girl a few years back, I never noticed any stares (JHB/PTA) that or I was too busy looking at her :p
Somehow I don't find women of my own race attractive....I'd much rather go for dark/white chocolate or chow mein
 
cbrunsdonza said:
After my divorce in 2000 I started dating someone from Namibia for a short while. My dad is rather conservative and was telling me the one night after I introduced her to him that its OK these days to cross the line, things have changed and we live in a better time.

Took me a long time to figure out what he was getting at: She is portuguese and has a dark complexion.

Most of my friends thought she was coloured and it was not something I ever thought about. Funny that only one actually asked me if she was coloured, the rest really did not care, for them the colour of her skin was as unimportant as the colour of her hair, her nails or her lipstick.
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Its weird how we all have this grading of what coloured and black is... apartheid imprinting.

Like a lot of people in SA she might have mixed heritage, most of us wouldn't even realise this. She probably wouldn't identify with 'coloured' though.

I wish I had dated more girls of different races when I was young. There was so much of a divide when I was at school and I still think we over think it.
I was interested in several Indian girls and even some Muslim ones... there was definitely some interest back but I actually had people telling me to leave it because of the complications for the girls.

I think if you just want to date casually its often a real problem for these girls. As in the reaction from their families. So often I think culture is the barrier.

I find myself looking at interracial couples/families. Not because its weird... but because I think its beautiful. Its different and catches my eye... I hope no one thinks its because I think its wrong.
 
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