Is DIVORCE really that bad when...

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Tamagotchi

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You still love your wife and have kids with her as well?
But you just can't stop fighting!
 
If you love each other, work it out. Get some therapy/counselling. Figure out why you fight, learn to communicate properly. Teach your kids a good example.
 
Went for counseling late last year. Still the fights continue. Got no guns, neither the urge to hurt mself,my, or my wife.
This is damn frustrating'coz first she said she wants to D, then I stopped her, went for help, kept on fighting. So the other day after a fight, I told her to get her lawyer and tell him start moving on it.
She then told me its expensive and why don't I get a lawyer. Got some advice and proceeded to cna (heard they sold those documents). Tried a few stores and they didn't have. So went back home. And now I'm stuck between a rock and hard place.
 
Sinbad said:
If you love each other, work it out. Get some therapy/counselling. Figure out why you fight, learn to communicate properly. Teach your kids a good example.
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This is really good advice. One more thing you need to consider is that if you don't sort this fighting out now, it WILL affect your children when they're older.
 
Try find a good marriage counsellor immediately before things can't be fixed. It might not be a guarantee but if you two still love each other then there is hope :) Maybe even go on a holiday together and rekindle the feelings you two once had?
 
MsDenz said:
This is really good advice. One more thing you need to consider is that if you don't sort this fighting out now, it WILL affect your children when they're older.
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Some times it is better to call it quits that to keep on fighting. Depending if you and your wife can think rationally and not try to be spiteful a divorce is not expensive at all. If you can split your stuff up and decide who takes care of the children without involving lawyers it costs less that R100.

If you decide to go through with it, the most important thing is to decide what will be best for the children.
 
Why do we fight? Over the smallest things. And after weeks I'm the one who says sorry whether I'm right or wrong. In the mean time I'll go on drinking binges coz I can't handle the silent treatment. A few weeks ago she still she loved me.
She can't let a fight last a day or two its gotta 2 weeks or more. I can't handle that.
 
Crowley said:
Some times it is better to call it quits that to keep on fighting. Depending if you and your wife can think rationally and not try to be spiteful a divorce is not expensive at all. If you can split your stuff up and decide who takes care of the children without involving lawyers it costs less that R100.

If you decide to go through with it, the most important thing is to decide what will be best for the children.
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That part in bold is very important. In my case, I realized I was married to a sociopath. I'm not sure how to deal with her anymore. Maybe I should start my own thread.
 
Sounds like there is a lot of resentment built up on both sides. You both need to get to the root of why that resentment is there, and see if that is fixable. If it's not, then divorce amicably. If it is, then you both need to make a huge effort to fix it and ensure that stuff never gets bottled up again.
 
Tamagotchi said:
Why do we fight? Over the smallest things. And after weeks I'm the one who says sorry whether I'm right or wrong. In the mean time I'll go on drinking binges coz I can't handle the silent treatment. A few weeks ago she still she loved me.
She can't let a fight last a day or two its gotta 2 weeks or more. I can't handle that.
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How old are your children?
 
Sex

Good quality, good atmosphere, good setting... no kids
You need that and lots of it, it should fix things

Cook for her

Bring her flowers

Stop Drinking

Go for walks (on the beach if you can)

Share a milkshake

It sounds silly but you have nothing to loose right? At least enjoy the time you still have together then
If you still love each other and are still in love with one another the spark will come back if you start dating again, that's what got you together in the first place. Its silly but it works, you might not need therapy at all or a divorce for that matter.
 
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Do what is best for the children. If it means split up then do so -it is just not right for kids to suffer due to parents not being able to be a couple.
I is very difficult to give any answers based on the info and I suggest you see a professional councilor. If you feel it will be a waste then you have already decided.

I got divorced before 7yrs of marriage and eventually got custody of my then 3 year old and brought her up myself. It was the best thing that could happen with us and I remained divorced for many happy years and a un-married Dad.

One thing though if you think your first marriage is difficult the second is even more so because of the children and your kids/my kids/our kids.

Good luck with your things.
 
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