Pavan
Expert Member
Like I said, to each their own.
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SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
@crocopede what does the boss say?
As every parent I can understand how you feel.
My only recommendation is to NOT try and quit smoking now as some idiot recommended.
Rather wait will everything settles
Man I miss my ciggerretes.
Good luck. You're going to love that boy so much!
My only recommendation is to NOT try and quit smoking now as some idiot recommended.
Rather wait will everything settles
Man I miss my ciggerretes.
Good luck. You're going to love that boy so much!
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
So you’ve gone through all this without a single conversation with the boss?
Not a very good play if you were hoping for some leniency.
Good luck. Things will get better. This doesn't help you now, but they will get better.
Nerfherder
Honorary Master
Smoking with a prem in the house is criminal. Might as well bash it in the head.As every parent I can understand how you feel.
My only recommendation is to NOT try and quit smoking now as some idiot recommended.
Rather wait will everything settles
Man I miss my ciggerretes.
Good luck. You're going to love that boy so much!
Honestly man, find some other way to hurt yourself because smoking round that baby is pedaling backwards.
Do you really feel like another month or 2 in the ICU ?
Venomous
Honorary Master
Read again.
OP stated that smoking is impossible, so probably going outside, which would be difficult with a difficult child ...
OP never said smoking while holding.
Stefanmuller
Expert Member
My advice is to get a nanny that comes in every day. As in a trustworthy domestic worker but who will focus most of her time looking after the kiddo. Will cost you about R3.5 to R5k oer month. Ask friends or relatives or even FB groups for someone they can give a good reference. At the moment you guys dont need a child professional, just someone who can take time off your hands. The better the reference to child care experience the better I guess but your wife will be around at least for the first few months to check it out. As a bonus some of the house work will also be taken care of.
My brothers and I have been raised by a domestic with my mom and not as though she had any experience but was like a mother to us.
RedViking
Nord of the South
^^ Also install cameras in the house.
Polly101
Expert Member
I was a colic baby
My mother says once she put me in the cupboard (apparently not for long) because she just could not cope
Venomous
Honorary Master
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
You make it sound like he is sitting and smoking right next to the kid which I’m sure is not the case.
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
It is the correct thing to do when things start going mental.
Hey. I have two 5 month old prem twins (34 weeks) that had severe silent reflux and regurgitation (of the violent kind). They would scream hours on end in the beginning and our pediatrician couldn't help (in fact he started prescribing a host of unnecessary medication). We changed to someone who came highly recommended and he diagnosed their symptoms immediately. We abandoned the old medication are now on a steady course of nexium and infant gaviscon for them and the difference is night and day - the endless screaming has stopped! And the vomiting has all but ceased (there are the odd surprises). So I can fully relate to your issues and I hope you heed my simple advice.
If I had listened to others, I was told to "just bear it out because they are colic". Or use magical colic potions. The end of the day is that colic is a made up diagnosis. It has no medical backing. A baby screams for a reason and it would definitely be in your and your baby's best interest to have a pediatrician look at him/her. It may be silent reflux (which is hard to diagnose and terribly painful). And you can treat severe regurgitation.
My wife and I also went through quite severe depression - it is no joke. We were in the same boat as you because with twins, there was (and is) never a chance to get a rest and hand the baby over. We roped in the MIL who moved in for 5 weeks. She was such a trooper - she managed the 1am to 5am shift and another during the day. We then hired a nanny as well to manage.
You need help - it is possible to do this if you can hand the baby over in the morning and go to work, then come home and do the night shift. I feel for you - you also need to support your wife through this difficult period. All I can offer is the best of luck and push through to the smiling stage - it becomes so worthwhile to have them smile back at you! All my built up frustrations fade away when they smile.
Sideshow Bob
Honorary Master
Interesting. Are you a medical doctor? Colic looks to be in the medical dictionary.
https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=2779
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
It's a bit like "spastic colon" in that it's a catch all for "We can't pin point what exactly is causing this...therefore it's colic" which I believe is the point he was getting to.
Often it's quite easily just diagnosed as colic for lack of an exact answer and solution.
Nerfherder
Honorary Master
Unfortunately the smoke on his clothes is enough to trigger a full on lung infection.
I'm not even being an arse about it, there are scientific journals on this.
Nerfherder
Honorary Master
That's not a medical dictionary.
If you read carefully it describes a symptom with several causes:
Its not a disease or disorder to be treated medically, unless its allergies, and then should be treated as allergies and not as "excessive crying".
Colic describes the parents reaction, not the babies.
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
Didn't think about that but yes it does make sense.
SeRpEnT
Executive Member
Good luck bud.
For what it's worth a few ideas from my side:
1. Coffee for those days/nights when you are struggling to stay awake. And it helps if it's great coffee and you are a coffee-holic like me.. And for when you want to sleep get yourself some meds. Some cheap old school anti-allergy meds out there with great sedative side effects...so much so that our GP prescribes it to us for sleeping!
2. Calm yourself down. Find a way to enjoy your hobbies whilst you are looking after your son. There must be a way. Watch some comedy shows. Checkout YouTube for some good standup comedy clips. You need to relax a bit more.
3. The world is full of douches and ar$holes...but belief me there are still good people out there. Reach out to local charities/NGO's who might be able to assist. There really are some great angels out there. Also check your local FB group page to find local charities. I found two in my area a while ago that I never knew about. My wife started following their pages and WOW...these people are amazing. I'm sure there are more groups/NGO's out there in SA that will/can help with almost anything.
For what it's worth a few ideas from my side:
1. Coffee for those days/nights when you are struggling to stay awake. And it helps if it's great coffee and you are a coffee-holic like me.. And for when you want to sleep get yourself some meds. Some cheap old school anti-allergy meds out there with great sedative side effects...so much so that our GP prescribes it to us for sleeping!
2. Calm yourself down. Find a way to enjoy your hobbies whilst you are looking after your son. There must be a way. Watch some comedy shows. Checkout YouTube for some good standup comedy clips. You need to relax a bit more.
3. The world is full of douches and ar$holes...but belief me there are still good people out there. Reach out to local charities/NGO's who might be able to assist. There really are some great angels out there. Also check your local FB group page to find local charities. I found two in my area a while ago that I never knew about. My wife started following their pages and WOW...these people are amazing. I'm sure there are more groups/NGO's out there in SA that will/can help with almost anything.
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