Jealousy

Voldemort

Death eater
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Messages
6,583
Ey this is a tough one:(

Your jealousy is rooted deep down in that fact that despite what you say you still want her and you cant handle how she is with other guys cause you fear that what she has with them could lead to something else and there you will be- stuck with a "friend" and you gotta grin and bear it while he gets everything you looked so forward to, rather cut ure ties, it will lead to ure mental destruction...
 

chau

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
613
You tend to see only what you want and at this moment your brain filters out the bad and presents her as this beautifull perfect stylized being and you want her.

Now to counter this try and observe whats bad about her. Maybe she sweats easily. Maybe she's nasty to some people or maybe she's a user. Maybe she's got this weird mole on her neck. Noone is perfect so by focussing on her negative points you will break the trance you put on yourself. Don't take it too far and start hating her but see her for what she is.

yeah man you're pretty right hey. im gonna have to try that or else as the other guys say just go out and find new girls to focus my attention on. i've jus gotten close to this girl so its tough. but oh well gonna just have to not focus on her.
thanks for your help
 

genetic

Honorary Master
Joined
Apr 26, 2008
Messages
37,594
I got fixated on a girl a couple years back I new I would never get. We were very good friends, and I used to hang out with her quite often. I really liked her, and about 6 months later, I plucked up the courage to tell her how I felt. Needless to say, she squashed any dreams I had of her then and there. I knew it was going to happen anyway.

The thing is, I think I found her more attractive because I knew I couldn't get her. It's a psychological thing. It's human nature to want something you cant have.
I distanced myself from her, as I knew she would hold me back, and went on the prowl once again.

You'll be better off focusing your attention on a girl that you know feels the same way about you, and trust me, it's way more fun when the feelings you have for a girl are reciprocated. Leave her and move on.
 

chau

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
613
What if you are jealous and envious at the same time?

i probably am :/ sux big time. i so need to do things to get her off my mind


You need to get a GF of your own and then you'll forget about her.

thats what im planning on doing man. now i just need to meet a few girls and see how things go... all this nonsense just happened recently :/
 

Kornhub

Blackburn Fan
Joined
Oct 15, 2008
Messages
34,517
Well I can understand your situation hmmm well I wouldn't kick her out your life-friends just don't do that.

Put yourself in her situation,imagine one of your chick friends had a hectic crush on you and you didn't like them back.

I would have to tell you that time will heal ---> time takes along time :p

You said you play hockey so try concentrate on that. :) Hope all goes well
 

Blaze786

Expert Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
1,984
Suck it up! Girls are a dime a dozen mate! Rejection is just part of the game, the only reason you are now so crazy about her is simple, "people always want what they can't have" FACT!

On a kinder note, it sucks to be rejected, but it will make you that much of a better person when you moe past the pain and find someone that likes you for you!

My 2c :)
 

Albereth

Honorary Master
Joined
Apr 26, 2005
Messages
15,860
Here is a fairly grim seeming question to ask yourself. What would you do if she was dead? Would you spend the rest of your life pining, or would you move on?

But, if you are certain that you want to pursue her, you need to back off. Right now you have made things too easy for her. She can play the field and know that she has you there as a fall back position - it gives her security. Don't be there. Don't call her. If she calls you, be busy and say you'll call her back. You don't have to 'reject' her, just push her away a little. This is most certainly not easy. It will take huge courage on your part not to want to be with her. However, it'll get whatever she has been up to out of your face, and it may give you the space to see that she isn't as perfect as you imagine her to be.

Love, they say, is also about timing. The timing right now doesn't seem right so you need to do something else. Keep busy. But take on something new. And make time for yourself.

Good luck
 

chau

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
613
Here is a fairly grim seeming question to ask yourself. What would you do if she was dead? Would you spend the rest of your life pining, or would you move on?

But, if you are certain that you want to pursue her, you need to back off. Right now you have made things too easy for her. She can play the field and know that she has you there as a fall back position - it gives her security. Don't be there. Don't call her. If she calls you, be busy and say you'll call her back. You don't have to 'reject' her, just push her away a little. This is most certainly not easy. It will take huge courage on your part not to want to be with her. However, it'll get whatever she has been up to out of your face, and it may give you the space to see that she isn't as perfect as you imagine her to be.

Love, they say, is also about timing. The timing right now doesn't seem right so you need to do something else. Keep busy. But take on something new. And make time for yourself.

Good luck

If she was dead i wouldn't really be jealous because she wouldn't be interacting with guys. I don't think im going to be pursuing her anymore. I got the bat and I think I got the point. I doubt she'll change her mind about me so it'll just be a normal friendship now, we'll I hope it can be normal.


Scientists found where the jealousy comes from. It's in the brain - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencet...-brain-Scientists-discover-jealousy-lobe.html

i think i heard that on 5fm the other day, i should go for an operation that takes out the nerves that send the signals to that part of the brain;)
 

Dolby

Honorary Master
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
32,628
Jealousy, love and caring all go together?

I've found when I'm not jealous, its because I don't care anymore.

Jealousy eats at your life and relationship and there are times you need to turn off and say '**** it' ... and not care
 

chau

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
613
ok so I like just found out she doesn't really care about me. its really sucks...
im just going to have to phase her out of me slowly
 
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