Lady friend advice

[crysis]

This thread is not about "chatting up ladies", but rather to have good friendship with them without them getting uncomfortable.

Cause, it seems there are a lot of dicks out there spoiling it for the rest of us....

Well, TBH, you're acting a little but gay right now. Which is good news for you, because I think you will have no problems converting those girls to become your friends. Keep it up

 

[Maverick Jester]

I have a more liberal background.

Yeah, no, that doesn't answer the question.

These are women that you see every day, and work with. Why is it not sufficient enough that they remain work colleagues? What is the reasoning behind wanting to extend the current status quo beyond the collegiate level?

I'm not questioning your reasoning (neither are the rest of the posters asking the question), I'm questioning your intentions behind this...

 

[Good.Fellow]

If you really want to be friends with them then you talk about the same stuff you would talk to anyone about. Ask them how their weekend was etc and keep it light. No matter what it shouldnt be more than an arb chat with a colleague, if you want to be best buddies then you need to find out how your wife feels about it, she should always be your no 1 priority.

Thanks, problem is that women these days are so sensitive to douchebags. Its tough .

 

[Good.Fellow]

Well, TBH, you're acting a little but gay right now. Which is good news for you, because I think you will have no problems converting those girls to become your friends. Keep it up

Silver lining in every cloud, Thanks

 

[cerebus]

Look as a rule of thumb if you aren't comfortable to tell your wife about the particulars of the conversations you had with them; like if you sort of skirt around the fact that they get a bit touchy with you or whatever; then you've pretty much crossed over that boundary.

 

[Good.Fellow]

Yeah, no, that doesn't answer the question.

These are women that you see every day, and work with. Why is it not sufficient enough that they remain work colleagues? What is the reasoning behind wanting to extend the current status quo beyond the collegiate level?

I'm not questioning your reasoning (neither are the rest of the posters asking the question), I'm questioning your intentions behind this...

My intentions are totally pure. I know that might be "hard" to accept...

But I think this is a uniquely SA situtaion. Boys braai and the girls stand in the kitchen. Its stupid. We all need to grow up!

 

[Kornhub]

Dude talk to them like friends and you can stop any advances they make (if they ever do).

 

[Good.Fellow]

This is the way it rolls for me.
Start chatting to a lady at work.
We hit it off. Start having cool chats about family, kids, even spouses. And other *****.
Then a week or two later, I start to realise they are avoiding me. I'm tired of it and all I want is to continue the friendships in a platonic way.

Its not cool and it makes me look and feel like a douche.

 

[Maverick Jester]

My intentions are totally pure. I know that might be "hard" to accept...

So again, why is the collegiate status quo not sufficient enough? Why is it important to go beyond that with the women at work? Colleagues can have normal conversations too, hell, I often have lunch with my female colleagues, but things end once work is over. Is this perhaps what you mean?

There is nothing pure about wanting to be friends with colleagues of the opposite sex, without speaking about it to your spouse. At the end of the day, it is their opinion on the matter that should count most to you.

But I think this is a uniquely SA situtaion. Boys braai and the girls stand in the kitchen. Its stupid. We all need to grow up!

Hmmm, don't apply the paintbrush so liberally my friend, this is a very subjective statement and needs to be applied as such

 

[Good.Fellow]

So again, why is the collegiate status quo not sufficient enough? Why is it important to go beyond that with the women at work? Colleagues can have normal conversations too, hell, I often have lunch with my female colleagues, but things end once work is over. Is this perhaps what you mean?

There is nothing pure about wanting to be friends with colleagues of the opposite sex, without speaking about it to your spouse. At the end of the day, it is their opinion on the matter that should count most to you.



Hmmm, don't apply the paintbrush so liberally my friend, this is a very subjective statement and needs to be applied as such

This is all I am after.

 

[Bizkit87]

Lol, no I'm married to a woman. Thats why I want to keep it clean and in the friendship zone.

Pretend that you like them a lot, be very nice to them, and eventually they will friendzone you, let them think it was them that friendzoned you, best friends for life.

 

[ISP cash cow]

In my opinion I think that you are trying to hard.

Friendships (both females and males) are struck by interactions about things you have in common or topics that you like to discuss about together. If you are striking up these conversations with the women at your work and then you are trying to keep the motion going on your own, they may just be friendly but they are not really striking up the same friendship that you think you are. That scenario is filled with "married douchebag wanting an affair" type of material and probably comes across to them as such (hence the reason for them avoiding you afterwards).

You can only make friends out of females at the office the same way as you would make male friends. You talk, if you have something in common then you will kind of spend a little bit more time together and then more and then eventually go have a burger together during lunch (or try on shoes whatever is your fancy).

You also need to ask yourself if you are trying just as hard to make male friends as well as female friends because if the females in the company see you only being friendly to them and not to the other males, then they just think you are trying to be more than friends.

 

[TelkomUseless]

Boys braai and the girls stand in the kitchen. Its stupid. We all need to grow up!

Because the women like to kuier with other women ? After the braai, everyone is together.. so then women and men can chat to each other. No rule that says women can't join the guys..

 

[Arthur]

What is the best way to go about this. Also what is the best conversation starters and conversation continuums that will keep these ladies liking me with out it getting complicated?

Download the app.

 

[Good.Fellow]

Download the app.

Android?

 

[Frankie23]

Dude talk to them like friends and you can stop any advances they make (if they ever do).

And even if they're **** hot, keep on the straight and narrow buddy. It's easy to get sucked in by their tractor beam and before you know it, whoops..too late!

Matter of fact, the secret is indifference. The less interested you appear, the more they will want you. Genius

 

[Good.Fellow]

And even if they're **** hot, keep on the straight and narrow buddy. It's easy to get sucked in by their tractor beam and before you know it, whoops..too late!

Matter of fact, the secret is indifference. The less interested you appear, the more they will forget about you. Genius

Fixed.

 

[RiaX]

Lol, no I'm married to a woman. Thats why I want to keep it clean and in the friendship zone.

then talk with them like you would normally. Dont flirt, dont be afraid to get personal but make it extremely clear you love your wife and you have no intentions. Talk about the wife ask them to give you ideas for things to butter up the wife's day and so on (like gift ideas or places to go out to)

OR

be like a ghei kid that expects his crush to magically jump him without making a move then later doesnt understand why he friendzoned ... except you want to be there.

Anyways dont be so conceited to think women think of you as some sex god and they just going to throw themselves at you. Even if they are that interested they will lose interest over time if you dont show any interest