Living together

[LazyLion]

Gratuities are happily accepted though.

what Home Affairs does not know... won't hurt them

I can't help it if some people just want to be nice!

 

[Necuno]

by the way... I am a Home Affairs Licensed Marriage Officer.

getting married in court... or at home affairs ... takes longer these days (around six months) than getting married in a church or at home.

All you need to get married is...

1) a building (any building as long as it is indoors)
2) a bride and groom (or whatever you want to call them)
3) two witnesses (can be anyone living)
4) a marriage officer or somebody approved by the state
5) two things said by the marriage officer..
a) is there any reason why you can't get married?
b) I pronouce you legally married.

can take five mins if you are ready...

http://www.home-affairs.gov.za/civil_marriage.asp

oh.. and your ID books

bookmarks link

...i have however a priest in the family who will be more than willing to do the todos if needed

-any case living together is more than just the living part, its a boat that can sink if both parts are not comitted to see it through.

 

[Kim_Webchick]

I just call him my other half........

 

[noxibox]

Weddings are expensive. Save your money - It makes no difference in the end.

No need to have a wedding.

So, are there NO legal consequences when you just live together?

You're entitled to compensation for death on the job.

Living together is a "cop-out"

Marriage is just a cop-out. People did it automatically making it essentially meaningless.

Or you can ask why someone needs an aribtrary and relatively easily removed piece of paper as proof of love. Even more ridiculous is the whole expensive ring con. The diamond industry is never short of suckers on that front.

There will always be the underlying distrust... "this person does not actually love me enough to make a final commitment to me, and one day they are going to leave me"

If someone is looking for a final commitment marriage is not it. Maybe a suicide pact. And ease of divorce is not the problem. The only difference when it was harder or even impossible was that people cheated or spent their lives together hating each other. The latter is a really wonderful environment for children. What is not true is that being forced to stay married forced people to work things out.

It is for people who can never ever truly love. Cos love says I will be with you until your dying day, come what may, no matter what.... but living together says "hey, I like you... but don't get too cosy... cos one day you are outta here... or if the going gets tough... then I am outta here"

Marriage says I'll stay until I get down to the local lawyer.

My view is that being married is very important if you have kids. The kids need to know they are secure etc and being married is normal and normal is safe (for kids at least).

What children require is the perception of a stable relationship which has nothing to do with a piece of paper.

i totally agree with you Gary. Integrity went out the window at some time or other

I agree. The last few million years there just hasn't been the same integrity. I blame the degenerates who came onto land.

Dude every chick wants a wedding day, whether they say it or not.

Well even today they are thoroughly brainwashed. An integral part of that brainwashing is the equating of diamonds with love and marriage.

but it is not a lifelong marriage commitment... until they say the magic words.

"I promise right after I shoot you I'll shoot myself." Marriage is not a lifelong commitment and only the really naive would think so.

One thing that still gets me is that in almost every marriage you get, "Until death do us part." Sort of ironic if you believe in an afterlife, souls, etc. And even if you don't, what's wrong with honouring your partner's memory?

Those are the personal questions I find myself faced with in my relationship. I'm not married, but I don't plan on just being committed, "until death." I'm committed to my partner as long as I exist in one way or the other, and I believe my partner feels the same.

You have to ask why if a proxy for some deity can create the marriage we can't also have a proxy to undo it? Or why we need a proxy to create it?

I don't beleive in staying together if not married. I also don't beleive that if you are happily staying together you will be happily married later on. I heard of so many couples staying together for years and then move out and divorce shortly after getting married.

Means nothing really. Or can you show that if they had married immediately they would never get divorced?

Well obviously you get cases that are not like this, but most of the time sex becomes like washing the dishes to a chick.

Its like you have to make deals to get sex, once your committed females lose their libido for some odd reason.

Maybe some women are like that, but certainly not all, probably not even most. Not today. In the past girls were taught that sex was an unfortunate obligation in marriage, something they should try to avoid.

 

[Gazer]

I lived with my now husband for 9 yrs before we got married. The only reason we married was because we wanted a child. We were both secure in the relationship but I think it provides a lot fo security to a kid if they know their parents are committed and a unit. We've been narried now for almost 17 yrs.

It was good because we knew we'd stay married when we did do it (after 9 yrs together all the ***** is ironed out).

 

[Gazer]

We also didn't do the elaborate wedding...we got married in the magistrate's court on a Friday morning and had a small party for family/friends at home the next day. Saved us a bunch of cash.

 

[Necuno]

We also didn't do the elaborate wedding...we got married in the magistrate's court on a Friday morning and had a small party for family/friends at home the next day. Saved us a bunch of cash.

one could rather use the wasted cash on an elaborate wedding for down payments / honey moon / furniture / savings i would say.

 

[Waaib]

What children require is the perception of a stable relationship which has nothing to do with a piece of paper.

Indeed. Being married also has nothing to do with a piece of paper. Kids understand the world better if the parents are married (in western culture anyway) and don't have to explain that I live with my mom and her boyfriend who is my dad to their mates.

 

[bwana]

Indeed. Being married also has nothing to do with a piece of paper. Kids understand the world better if the parents are married (in western culture anyway) and don't have to explain that I live with my mom and her boyfriend who is my dad to their mates.

I think they would still say "mom and dad" - being married or not doesnt change that.

 

[Waaib]

I think they would still say "mom and dad" - being married or not doesnt change that.

That's not what I meant.

 

[killadoob]

What did you mean then?

I know someone who is in that situation and they calling their mom mom and dad dad.

Being married is nothing more than an expensive piece of paper.

 

[Waaib]

It's my opinion that for kids it is very important that their parents are married. I'm happy that you disagree.

It's my opinion that between adults a marriage certificate is worth the value of paper.

It's my experience that many people value the act of marriage and the promises made during the ceremony extremely highly.

 

[Jewelbox]

Shall we now vote on this subject, whether to stay together or get married?