Living together

J

Jewelbox

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There are many single couples living together.
Why do they choose to live "as if" married?
I am not for or against such way of living, but it will be very interesting to hear the views from couples who are living together, or who have lived together.
 
Funnily enough, the most difficult part for me is how to refer to Mr Blu when talking to other people -
- If you say 'partner', it sounds too business-like;
- If you say 'boyfriend', it sounds like you're in high school;
- If you say 'lover', it sounds like you're having an affair.

:)
 
Dude being married is just a piece of paper, if you live together and married, there is no difference if you are not married if you ask me.

Living with someone will also in finding out if the 2 can live together, nothing worse than finding after your married that everything the other does annoys the crap out of you.
 
killadoob said:
Dude being married is just a piece of paper, if you live together and married, there is no difference if you are not married if you ask me.

Living with someone will also in finding out if the 2 can live together, nothing worse than finding after your married that everything the other does annoys the crap out of you.
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+100
 
killadoob said:
Dude being married is just a piece of paper, if you live together and married, there is no difference if you are not married if you ask me.

Living with someone will also in finding out if the 2 can live together, nothing worse than finding after your married that everything the other does annoys the crap out of you.
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To be fair, killa, it feels the same, but in terms of the current SA legal position, there are additional legal consequences when you are married.
 
Yes, was just about to say. Living together as a couple (not yet married) should be a dry run for your marriage, so if you live together as if you're married you'll iron out all the kinks before taking the plunge.

Marriage isn't as it used to be where you only moved in together after you're married, just because it's not as "taboo" to get divorced as it was back in the old-school days before PC's and internet sax :D
 
blunomore said:
Funnily enough, the most difficult part for me is how to refer to Mr Blu when talking to other people -
- If you say 'partner', it sounds too business-like;
- If you say 'boyfriend', it sounds like you're in high school;
- If you say 'lover', it sounds like you're having an affair.

:)
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then refer to him as your SO :)
 
blunomore said:
To be fair, killa, it feels the same, but in terms of the current SA legal position, there are additional legal consequences when you are married.
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So, are there NO legal consequences when you just live together?
 
Weddings are expensive. Save your money :) - It makes no difference in the end.
 
blunomore said:
Funnily enough, the most difficult part for me is how to refer to Mr Blu when talking to other people -
- If you say 'partner', it sounds too business-like;
- If you say 'boyfriend', it sounds like you're in high school;
- If you say 'lover', it sounds like you're having an affair.

:)
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Nothing wrong with using boyfriend (or even partner). Its all in your own head. Ja, the lover thing does sound strange on the ear.
 
Jewelbox said:
So, are there NO legal consequences when you just live together?
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For the children born out of such a relationship, yes. They are entitled to maintenance.

For a women in such a relationship, there is no legal protection.

By the way, I am not referring to the legal position where black people live together in terms of customary law. That does in fact enjoy recognition.
 
It's definitely what I will do when I'm about to get married. She'll move in with me for at least a year so that we can assess each other properly.
 
Both myself and my lady are commitment phobic, so living together makes us feel more comfortable, and neither of us really believe in marriage as being important anyway.
 
Use Common Law Husband (and remind him that under common law you get 50% of everything whereas with a pre-nup you only get what you agree to).

Re living together before you get married:-
My view is that being married is very important if you have kids. The kids need to know they are secure etc and being married is normal and normal is safe (for kids at least). Apart from that whether you are married or not make no difference when living together.
 
Waaib said:
Use Common Law Husband (and remind him that under common law you get 50% of everything whereas with a pre-nup you only get what you agree to).

Re living together before you get married:-
My view is that being married is very important if you have kids. The kids need to know they are secure etc and being married is normal and normal is safe (for kids at least). Apart from that whether you are married or not make no difference when living together.
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The legal phenomenon of Common Law Husband or Wife does not exist with us, except as I mentioned in cases of customary marriages for black people in terms of tradition.

I agree kiddies ought to feel secure when they come into the world.
 
blunomore said:
The legal phenomenon of Common Law Husband or Wife does not exist with us, except as I mentioned in cases of customary marriages for black people in terms of tradition.
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Are you sure? That seems a bit odd. Not that I know much about the legalities.

I feel that marriage implies more committment than 'just' living together. Disclaimer: that's not necessarily true, there are always exceptions and no-one knows how committed your relationship is except the people in it... but that's how I feel. But then I'm not married or living with anyone, so I'm not exactly an authority on the subject ;)
 
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