Marriage

Are you both serious about marriage?
Do you both believe 'until death do we part'?
Do you both believe matrimony is the most profound act of self-donation, a permanent and irrevovable act of commitment through thick and thin?
Do you see marriage is very much more than a legal contract, that it's a covenent? (Contract and covenant differ rmuch like marriage and prostitution - a contract exchanges goods and services, a covenant exchanges persons).

If so, I have no hesitation in urging Community of Property.

Why, from the very outset, hobble your union with reservations, 'just in case'? Why hold back even the smallest thing from each other?

When I married my every desire was to give everything, risk everything, hold back nothing. I've never regretted it. And when things get tough -- as they surely will -- that unreserved total self-giving can be the very thing that sees you through to the other side.

For me, marriage is all or nothing. There's no 'yes, but', no holding back on mere property.
 
The only paper I signed was the marriage certificate. No contracts entered into so I think that makes it "In Community".
 
Arthur said:
Are you both serious about marriage?
Do you both believe 'until death do we part'?
Do you both believe matrimony is the most profound act of self-donation, a permanent and irrevovable act of commitment through thick and thin?
Do you see marriage is very much more than a legal contract, that it's a covenent? (Contract and covenant differ rmuch like marriage and prostitution - a contract exchanges goods and services, a covenant exchanges persons).

If so, I have no hesitation in urging Community of Property.

Why, from the very outset, hobble your union with reservations, 'just in case'? Why hold back even the smallest thing from each other?

When I married my every desire was to give everything, risk everything, hold back nothing. I've never regretted it. And when things get tough -- as they surely will -- that unreserved total self-giving can be the very thing that sees you through to the other side.

For me, marriage is all or nothing. There's no 'yes, but', no holding back on mere property.
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It is not about me, Arthur. I posed the question to see how other people on the forum approached the issue. Since the 70s/80s and changes in family law, people have chosen to be married out of community of property much more consistently, IMO.
 
Arthur said:
If so, I have no hesitation in urging Community of Property.
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Things don't always work out the way they do in fairytales.

Also, apart from aspects of marriage, what about cases of sequestration? You make a screw-up in your business, and lose everything, do you want your spouse to lose everything too?
 
I would say in community of property...

@claymore its through bad and good... not bad on one side good on the other...

I hate grey areas...
 
blunomore said:
When you said anti-nuptial, it sounded like you are against nuptials. I am sure you did not intend to create that impression, but that was the result :)
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Freudian slip maybe? :D

blunomore said:
It is indeed interchageable (and the reason that I know it is not from watching TV shows;))

DJK spoke of anti-nuptial ... which he later corrected as ante-nuptial.

Am I a grammar Nazi? Only on Sundays and Mondays!
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If you truly were a grammar nazi, you would not have capitalized the word 'nazi'...:p


I would definitely marry out of community of property and will make my mind up regarding the accrual depending on our separate circumstances at the time of marriage and depending on her personality...
 
Arthur said:
If so, I have no hesitation in urging Community of Property..
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Sorry, bad advice. Its not the love or commitment that is at stake but it is the sharks out there. If I was married in community of property I and my wife would have lost everything twice in my life due to financial problems, not due to my own fault.

When I wanted to get married my NG church preacher advised us to get married out of community. He said at the time that he remarried many that got divorced just to alter the marital status to protect their loved ones from sharks. That was the best advice someone ever gave me. Reason is that later in life when you have lots of possessions money then nobody can touch what your wife have or what you gave her or "paid" her. Thus 1/2 or most of your estate is protected. Even if you do not have so much, to allow without any possibility to stop it , that other can take your furniture, bed, that is everything you own when you run in problems with debt, your fault or not, is just not worth it. The alternate would be that sharks will take her ring of your wife's finger when the shiiit hits the fan like in the current economic crisis.

When married out of community or antenuptial contract it does not reduce your trust or your love, but it protects your loved ones against unscrupulous money sharks that will clean you out when difficult times arise. I talk of first hand experience so believe me.
 
Arthur said:
Are you both serious about marriage?
Do you both believe 'until death do we part'?
Do you both believe matrimony is the most profound act of self-donation, a permanent and irrevovable act of commitment through thick and thin?
Do you see marriage is very much more than a legal contract, that it's a covenent? (Contract and covenant differ rmuch like marriage and prostitution - a contract exchanges goods and services, a covenant exchanges persons).

If so, I have no hesitation in urging Community of Property.

Why, from the very outset, hobble your union with reservations, 'just in case'? Why hold back even the smallest thing from each other?

When I married my every desire was to give everything, risk everything, hold back nothing. I've never regretted it. And when things get tough -- as they surely will -- that unreserved total self-giving can be the very thing that sees you through to the other side.

For me, marriage is all or nothing. There's no 'yes, but', no holding back on mere property.
Click to expand...

Ya huh... and if you want to finance a motor car (or as far as I know sign any contract whatsoever) spouse has to be along to co-sign; should spouse get in trouble with debt and be blacklisted for some reason you're both stuffed etc.

Its retarded frankly...
 
UnoPanelvan said:
When I wanted to get married my NG church preacher advised us to get married out of community. He said at the time that he remarried many that got divorced just to alter the marital status to protect their loved ones from sharks.
Click to expand...

I worked with a lady a few years ago who got a panic-stricken call from her 17 year old daughter. The colleague left the office in a rush thinking something disastrous had happened. The next day she told us that her daughter had gone to order her own ID book and for that had needed to take along her mother's ID book (I think this was the situation but it could have been a drivers licenses.

When the official behind the desk looked up her Mom's ID it showed up as divorced. The daughter was totally distraught about it thinking that her parents where not her own or she was adopted or had been kidnapped at birth (the way teenagers do). It turned out that the Mom and Dad had been divorced in the 80's for the reason above and the new marriage had never been registered.
 
UnoPanelvan said:
When married out of community or antenuptial contract it does not reduce your trust or your love, but it protects your loved ones against unscrupulous money sharks that will clean you out when difficult times arise. I talk of first hand experience so believe me.
Click to expand...

Is there no way to get the way you are married changed? Does the marriage certificate state it? Is the divorce and remarry option the only one available?
 
Waaib said:
Is there no way to get the way you are married changed? Does the marriage certificate state it? Is the divorce and remarry option the only one available?
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Yep - afaik it is. :o
 
pre/antenuptial contract prior to marriage
postnuptial after marriage

remember that these contracts have to be lodged with the deeds registry as they need to be public so that potential commercial partners/creditors can check

when you do a postnuptial contract you have to advertise in newspapers to let creditors know that you are changing your matrimonial property regime & they can object if it is to their prejudice

from a (cynical) lawyer's perspective (and having spent some time in family law focusing on what happens when it goes bad) i believe that out of community of property should be the default

accrual, as the djk mentioned, is dependent on your circumstances heading into the marriage - it was introduced iirc to protect one partner who is more stay at home & look after the kids while the other does the work which earns the money
 
hrm interesting that accrual thing, 1st time i hear of it. I think my parents just have the normal one/ out of community.
 
Today it usually is wise to be wed outside of community of property for the simple reason that if one of the spouses start a business and things go bad, the sharks can only touch the one spouse's "property". (unless the other signed security)

Simply said: Wed with community of property, and you start all over again when a spouse's business fails. Out of community, and you start halfway (provided the other spouse did not share the business risk).
 
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